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Invites and Paper

Family Drama

My fiance and I already ordered save the dates, My mother and grandfather (her father) are not getting along at all right now. This is a common thing. They will get into a really bad fight then eventually make up after weeks or months. My mother is now saying if I invite him she won't come to my wedding. My mother is one of my best friends so I would be devastated if she did not attend my wedding. Should I not send him a save the date and if they are getting along when my invitations are due then just send him an invitation? What do you guys think? 

Re: Family Drama

  • ShesSoColdShesSoCold bend over and I'll show ya mod
    Moderator 5000 Comments Fifth Anniversary 500 Love Its
    edited November 29
    Do you think she's bluffing? Are you really willing to let her manipulate you like this?

    My MIL threatening to not come to our wedding if we didn't invite her extended family. We told her we'd miss her. Guess who came to the wedding? 

    If you're okay with this, then yes, I'd do exactly what you said. Don't send a STD but then if Mommy allows, send him an invitation.

    ETA - How is it too late to include a spouse on a STD but not too late for this? Your time frame from your posts is super confusing. 
    Image result for someecard betting someone half your shit youll love them forever
    short+sassyMyNameIsNotcharlotte989875MairePoppy
  • climbingwifeclimbingwife NYC 'burbs member
    10000 Comments Fifth Anniversary 500 Love Its 5 Answers
    My fiance and I already ordered save the dates, My mother and grandfather (her father) are not getting along at all right now. This is a common thing. They will get into a really bad fight then eventually make up after weeks or months. My mother is now saying if I invite him she won't come to my wedding. My mother is one of my best friends so I would be devastated if she did not attend my wedding. Should I not send him a save the date and if they are getting along when my invitations are due then just send him an invitation? What do you guys think? 
    How do you have so much invite drama? 

    Don't let your mother manipulate you. Send your grandfather a STD. I'm assuming you're close with him?

  • edited November 29
    It's too late to include the spouse on the STD because we ordered them after they announced they were getting married and I was told they were not in a serious relationship and suddenly they are getting married. I ordered the envelopes to be preaddressed so we would not have to worry about addressing them ourselves. So we had one envelope addressed to just the cousin and one envelop addressed to my grandfather and they have already been mailed out to us to send to our guests.
  • Do you want your grandfather to attend your wedding? If that’s the case tell your mother than you love her and hope she will be there but that you also love your grandfather and will be inviting him. Then let her decide if she would really miss her daughters wedding because of whatever issues they’re having. 
  • I love both of them. My grandfather is being very hurtful towards my mother. He works for my parents' company and he has said awful things to my entire family, but he is still my grandfather. My mother is not trying to manipulate me. She just does not want to be hurt anymore by him. He has gone so far to tell her that they no longer have a relationship except for a professional one because he doesn't consider her his daughter anymore. 
  • I love both of them. My grandfather is being very hurtful towards my mother. He works for my parents' company and he has said awful things to my entire family, but he is still my grandfather. My mother is not trying to manipulate me. She just does not want to be hurt anymore by him. He has gone so far to tell her that they no longer have a relationship except for a professional one because he doesn't consider her his daughter anymore. 
    This really sounds like drama you don’t want to get involved in. Don’t send a STD but budget him into your invite count in case something changes between now and then. Not everyone needs to get a STD. 
  • ShesSoColdShesSoCold bend over and I'll show ya mod
    Moderator 5000 Comments Fifth Anniversary 500 Love Its
    It's too late to include the spouse on the STD because we ordered them after they announced they were getting married and I was told they were not in a serious relationship and suddenly they are getting married. I ordered the envelopes to be preaddressed so we would not have to worry about addressing them ourselves. So we had one envelope addressed to just the cousin and one envelop addressed to my grandfather and they have already been mailed out to us to send to our guests

    STUCK

    Oh my god. I feel like you're intentionally making things difficult. How hard would it have been to have gotten ONE damned envelope and addressed it?

    Are you planning on having two cups of popcorn per person? 
    Image result for someecard betting someone half your shit youll love them forever
    MyNameIsNotInLoveInQueens
  • It would not have been if I was told she was seeing someone. 
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