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Destination Weddings

Serious Venue Issue! Not Sure What to Do...

I have not been on in a while, but thought I would come on because I am MAJORLY freaking out! We are planning a destination wedding in Los Cabos, Mexico for May 11, 2019. We pretty much have everything done. Photographer, make-up artist, and hair stylist booked. Groomsmen suits selected. Bridesmaids dresses kinda selected (lol) and I have my dress. Most importantly, our venue has been booked, the Paradisus Resort. We signed a room block contract and everything is rolling. Save the dates with resort info were sent out in June and formal invitations are currently being made to be sent out in the next couple of weeks. However, I just noticed that room rates on the resort's website are cheaper than our contracted room block! WTH?!? I checked when we first negotiated our contracted room block and our contracted rates were way less than what was on any site. So, we proceeded. Now, prices have gone way down. Now, that people are starting to book, they are going to book through the resort or some third party site because it is almost $200 cheaper for the entire stay. For example, our room rates start at $230/per person per night. On the resort's website a person can currently book a room for $313/per night. They do not say anything about per person on their website. However, it used to. So, now we are going to be left having to pay for the remainder of our room block if people decide to not book under our room block and I honestly cannot blame them. In fact, I do not want our guests paying more, but we obviously do not want to pay for rooms that we will not use either. I also feel embarrassed. We have been pushing the importance of booking under the wedding room block to get lowered prices and that is not the case! Smh. I am SOOOOOO upset! I emailed the reservations department about this and I am waiting to hear back. It is so strange that they are no longer charging per person to stay at an all inclusive resort. That is not typical.

UGGGHHHH!!!! Any suggestions?

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Re: Serious Venue Issue! Not Sure What to Do...

  • LondonLisaLondonLisa London, UK
    Seventh Anniversary 2500 Comments 500 Love Its 5 Answers
    member
    It is hard to have perspective when planning a wedding because it is consuming your life now, but really, this isn't that big of a deal.

    Wait until the reservation person gets back to you and go from there. There is no need to spin out until you know all the facts. This is not an emergency.

     Worst case scenario, just send an email around saying "We hope you got our invitations to our wedding. We look forward to celebrating with you. We just noticed that website x and y has some special deals on our resort if you are booking. But you are also free to book through your room block". And then leave it. 

    Just confirming that you are ACTUALLY legally getting married in Mexico (doing all the legal requirements/ blood tests etc). That is a bigger emergency if not. 
    levioosaPrettyGirlLost
  • I have not been on in a while, but thought I would come on because I am MAJORLY freaking out! We are planning a destination wedding in Los Cabos, Mexico for May 11, 2019. We pretty much have everything done. Photographer, make-up artist, and hair stylist booked. Groomsmen suits selected. Bridesmaids dresses kinda selected (lol) and I have my dress. Most importantly, our venue has been booked, the Paradisus Resort. We signed a room block contract and everything is rolling. Save the dates with resort info were sent out in June and formal invitations are currently being made to be sent out in the next couple of weeks. However, I just noticed that room rates on the resort's website are cheaper than our contracted room block! WTH?!? I checked when we first negotiated our contracted room block and our contracted rates were way less than what was on any site. So, we proceeded. Now, prices have gone way down. Now, that people are starting to book, they are going to book through the resort or some third party site because it is almost $200 cheaper for the entire stay. For example, our room rates start at $230/per person per night. On the resort's website a person can currently book a room for $313/per night. They do not say anything about per person on their website. However, it used to. So, now we are going to be left having to pay for the remainder of our room block if people decide to not book under our room block and I honestly cannot blame them. In fact, I do not want our guests paying more, but we obviously do not want to pay for rooms that we will not use either. I also feel embarrassed. We have been pushing the importance of booking under the wedding room block to get lowered prices and that is not the case! Smh. I am SOOOOOO upset! I emailed the reservations department about this and I am waiting to hear back. It is so strange that they are no longer charging per person to stay at an all inclusive resort. That is not typical.

    UGGGHHHH!!!! Any suggestions?

    I agree with Lisa. Before you freak out about this, wait to hear back from the reservations department. There is a good chance they will honor the new price.

    Do you know for a fact that you will have to cover all of the rooms if they don’t get booked? It says that in your contract? Most the room blocks that I have seen just hold the rooms till X date and then release them. There is no penalty to the bride/groom.
    charlotte989875short+sassyahoywedding
  • Lisa - We are legally getting married in the US. 

    Lisa and missJeanLouise - My concern is that we will be left having to pay for the room block regardless if 10 rooms are booked by our guests or not. As is, that would be almost an additional $20,000 in cost. 

    The resort actually did respond this morning and the wedding coordinator said that she would discuss the issue with the reservations department. I really HOPE they do something! For example, currently on their site kids are free. Our contracted rates charges $115/ per child per night. People bringing their kids would save almost half if they book directly on their site, which is what they obviously would do. 

  • Lisa - We are legally getting married in the US. 

    Lisa and missJeanLouise - My concern is that we will be left having to pay for the room block regardless if 10 rooms are booked by our guests or not. As is, that would be almost an additional $20,000 in cost. 

    The resort actually did respond this morning and the wedding coordinator said that she would discuss the issue with the reservations department. I really HOPE they do something! For example, currently on their site kids are free. Our contracted rates charges $115/ per child per night. People bringing their kids would save almost half if they book directly on their site, which is what they obviously would do. 

    Yeah- THIS is your bigger emergency! Seriously! You cannot invite people to spend this much money, regardless of rates, and NOT get legally married. That is so unbelievably rude and relationship-destroying. 

    There are SOOOOO many threads on here from guests who were duped into spending money on a fake destination weddings. You need to fix this ASAP and actually get married in Mexico. 
    I am little confused. What difference does it make if we go to the court house a week before the wedding and get married in the states to avoid all the red tape of getting married in Mexico? We are not duping our guests. It is not a secret that is our plan. I would hope people are coming to celebrate our union, which will take place in Mexico not at the court house a week prior. I have gone to a destination wedding in which the couple handled their situation similar, and I did not feel slighted at all. I was happy to share in their celebration with them. I don't get it...
  • And paying $20k extra definitely constitutes an emergency for us. Lol.
  • "Not this crap again"? Ummm... Okay. Is this supposed to be a forum to support other brides or to give unsolicited advice about topics that are unrelated to the intended topic? If my guests do not have an issue, I am not sure the cause for the visceral reaction. But yeah... Maybe, I mistook the intended nature of this forum..? That said, thank you all for your feedback and thoughts. Be blessed. 
  • Great, I am happy to hear that you count your blessings daily. Perhaps, you might consider focusing more on that and less on attempting to sit as judge and jury of other people's lives. I see having a sense of humility and compassion are NOT one of YOUR blessings. None the less, thank you for your two cents.
  • MobKazMobKaz Chicago suburbs
    Ninth Anniversary 5000 Comments 500 Love Its 5 Answers
    member
    edited December 2018
    Great, I am happy to hear that you count your blessings daily. Perhaps, you might consider focusing more on that and less on attempting to sit as judge and jury of other people's lives. I see having a sense of humility and compassion are NOT one of YOUR blessings. None the less, thank you for your two cents.
     You seem to be the only one having a visceral reaction to this post. The meme  was directed towards the fact that your event is hardly new to these boards.  Other than that, my words have been extremely objective. Yours, on the other hand, have been defensive, judgmental, and presumptuous. Clearly, your closing for me to “be blessed”  was your passive aggressive way of telling me to “shove it”. I’m cool with that.  

    I did offer advice regarding your room block situation.  You asked for advice.  I offered an objective opinion regarding your destination event. That opinion was invited with the information you provided in your post. If you don’t want opinions then don’t provide information. Point out where I was judgemental or not compassionate  and I would be happy to offer either a clarification or humble apology. 
    ahoywedding
  • As indicated in my initial post, I rarely come to this forum. I am not familiar with common discussions about destination weddings. So, your meme and subsequent response came off as judgmental and offensive. Not to mention the fact that you offered advice about what I actually asked advice for after you shared your thoughts on how destination weddings are rude, etc. 

    At the end of the day, it does not matter. Again, I came here for a place to vent and to hopefully receive support from other brides. Not to engage in a tense exchange. That is the last thing that I need. 
  • MobKazMobKaz Chicago suburbs
    Ninth Anniversary 5000 Comments 500 Love Its 5 Answers
    member
    edited December 2018
    As indicated in my initial post, I rarely come to this forum. I am not familiar with common discussions about destination weddings. So, your meme and subsequent response came off as judgmental and offensive. Not to mention the fact that you offered advice about what I actually asked advice for after you shared your thoughts on how destination weddings are rude, etc. 

    At the end of the day, it does not matter. Again, I came here for a place to vent and to hopefully receive support from other brides. Not to engage in a tense exchange. That is the last thing that I need. 
    I apologize.  I was unaware that there was an order to comments when responding to a post. 
    As far as your room block situation is concerned, it was very risky of you to accept room blocks where you had to commit to the financial burden of it all.   That may be the downside to planning an out of country group vacation. Typically in the states, there are many ways to confirm and commit to room blocks without being burdened with any financial cost.
    I am glad you are 100% being honest with your guests.  It’s really disrespectful to downplay the true legal component of your marriage.  
    Words have meaning. . You’re not having a destination wedding. You are having a destination display and enacting a wedding ceremony. 
    I have reordered my comments to make amends.  If you can point out where I said your event was rude, or point to which words indicated judgment, offense,  or other non-factual and subjective statements, I would be happy to amend those as well.
    Perhaps what you require is a warm and/or alcoholic beverage and a stress relieving activity.
     




    ahoywedding
  • Girl... Smh. Why do you want to go back and forth? I answered your question. I shared with you why I felt the way that I did/do. The end. You cannot reprimand me for my perception of your response. First, you try to tell me how I should value my union and what is most important or what counts (as though your opinion is gospel), and now you are attempting to brow beat me about my perception of your response. I feel the way I feel. Your response seemed off putting. Period. That's it. That's all. You going back and forth is not going to change that. In fact, it just reinforces my initial perception.

    As much of a joy this conversation has been, I am going to politely and humbly exit. Perhaps, we can agree to disagree. Good night. 
  • MobKazMobKaz Chicago suburbs
    Ninth Anniversary 5000 Comments 500 Love Its 5 Answers
    member
    Girl... Smh. Why do you want to go back and forth? I answered your question. I shared with you why I felt the way that I did/do. The end. You cannot reprimand me for my perception of your response. First, you try to tell me how I should value my union and what is most important or what counts (as though your opinion is gospel), and now you are attempting to brow beat me about my perception of your response. I feel the way I feel. Your response seemed off putting. Period. That's it. That's all. You going back and forth is not going to change that. In fact, it just reinforces my initial perception.

    As much of a joy this conversation has been, I am going to politely and humbly exit. Perhaps, we can agree to disagree. Good night. 
    I would be happy to agree to disagree.  I merely point out that it was YOU who decided to volley back and forth with emotional and reactionary responses.  Again, NO reprimands were given. My points were that.....
    **agreeing to a financial burden for room blocks for an event was risky.  It IS risky.  Your post is based on the potential consequences of that risk.
    **It IS disrespectful to downplay the legal component of your wedding.  That is fact.  I applauded you for your honesty.
    **Words DO have meaning.  You will be hosting an event in Mexico as a married woman.  That is also fact.
    Again, I see NO judgment or opinion in these statements.  I cannot control the way you perceive my words so kindly acknowledge that you can not put "words in my mouth". 
    ***FULL DISCLOSURE....opinion based comment..........Regards humility, I am sure a definition of humility would NOT include.........a married couple who chooses to promote themselves in a highly visible, impressive, and expensive display of an already completed union.
    eileenrobahoywedding
  • levioosalevioosa Southern California
    5000 Comments Fifth Anniversary 500 Love Its 5 Answers
    member
    OP, you act like the legal requirements to get married in Mexico, or the “red tape” as you referred to it, is some secret cabal of unattainable goals. It’s not. It’s quite easy. Do not ask people to spend thousands of dollars and vacation time on event that is not your real wedding. How incredibly rude. It is completely possible to do the real legal ceremony in Mexico. That should be your first and foremost concern. 


    image
    InLoveInQueensPrettyGirlLostahoywedding
  • fullofhope25fullofhope25
    10 Comments
    member
    edited December 2018
    I guess you all set me straight. Lol. Wow... Grown women and bully behavior... Tsk, tsk, tsk. Ugly.

    Anyhow, I am not lying to my guests. AGAIN, they are aware of our plans and they are fine with them. So AGAIN, I do not understand why you all care so much. Simply put, what's it to you!? I couldn't care less what you did or what you did not do for your weddings. I am not a guest. So, it's not my concern. Why would I care? And why do you?!?! 

    I've never seen a group of gal pals act like this online before. I guess online and internet bullying has graduated past high school. Yikes! Either you all are crazy, bored, extremely unhappy, or a combination of all of the above. Either way, seek therapy, a hobby, and beat it! 

    P.S. I am DONE with this thread. So, feel free to argue amongst yourselves. 

    Have a wonderful Sunday! 

    Sincerely, 
    Dr. Moore 
  • How are the comments that have been posted reflective of bullying behavior? Do you need me to list the reasons? 

    First, I came on here for support about something completely different. Clearly, I did not receive that. In fact, I received the exact opposite. Very little said about the purpose of my post, with the exception of insinuations that I should not have signed the contract, etc. Well.... That is not very helpful after the fact. Nothing has been offered in the way of advice on how to move forward. I take that back... With the exception of one person. Not to mention posters insisting on putting words in my mouth! MY GUESTS KNOW OUR PLANS! If I have been transparent in my intentions, how is that rude, disrespectful, lying, etc? I have said that over three times, yet you all continue to say things that just simply are not true! Again, if my guests are fine with our plans, that should be the end of the conversation. What is the issue? It is almost as if you all want to argue and be nasty for the sake of arguing and being nasty. 

    I could go on and on. The overall tone of the feedback that I have received has been nasty. Plain and simple. I do not expect people to not share their opinions, but why be so nasty about it? Why be mean? I do not understand! I came on here thinking this was a group of women who offered support and encouragement and shared their opinions in a spirit of respect and compassion. Your tones suck! Period. You can argue me about it all you want, but that is the reality. If the shoe were on the other foot and these comments were directed toward you, I would be willing to bet money that you would feel the exact same. 

    And make no mistakes about it. My comments have not been passive at all. I am being direct. Any group of women who pounce on a virtually new member of a forum like this... Something else has to be going on in their lives to act so ugly toward someone who has never done anything to them. Someone who they do not even know. It's insane! If you cannot see that, I do not know what else to say...

    But, you know what? I am partially to blame. I accept my responsibility in this. I should've stopped engaging a long time ago.  

  • fullofhope25fullofhope25
    10 Comments
    member
    edited December 2018
    I think you should wait to hear from the reservations department, and clarify what they mean by the online offers that are out there now. Unfortunately, if your contract locked in a particular price you may be on the hook for the difference. Is there anything different about what is included with your room block and the online package/pricing? If so I’d communicate that to your guests as well. 

    I also think you should actually get married in Mexico.  It’s good all of your guests know, however you may not really know if they’re actually fine with it. If a family member of friend was doing something I found a little hurtful (I.e inviting me to an expensive wedding but not actually getting married at that wedding), I wouldn’t actually say anything to them about their plans, especially if things had already been booked. I wouldn’t want to hurt their feelings but I would feel weird about traveling all that way even though they’re already married. 
    Thank you so much for your feedback and for being pleasant. Lol. 

    But seriously, I just spoke with the wedding planner and she thinks that the resort will work with us. We are still waiting to hear back from the resort, but should know something by tomorrow. Fingers crossed! Looking back in retrospect, we should not have put ourselves in this situation. I honestly thought this was customary. I definitely did not anticipate this happening... But I guess now I know. Ha! Hindsight is always 20/20.

    As far as getting married in Mexico, like the room block situation, I never thought about the issue like that. I suppose because I have attended both a domestic and an international destination wedding in which the couples had gotten married prior to, and I never thought anything about it. I was just excited to celebrate with them. So, when it came to our wedding I did not think about it with this perspective. Friends and family expressed an interest in celebrating with us and sharing in the religious ceremony that will take place in Mexico.

    That said, I totally understand your point about guests not wanting to say anything. However, trust me, I have heard probably too many opinions about almost every other aspect of the wedding plans with the exception of the legal component. Let's just say my friends and family are not bashful and they all have A LOT of opinions. Lol. But that is not to say that there might be someone who has an issue with it and has not said anything. Last night, I actually picked the brain of some of my friends and family members about the issue, and they expressed that they had not thought about it and do not care. 

    So, I don't know... I will definitely discuss with my fiance' about looking deeper into not only having the religious ceremony but a legal one in Mexico also. Obviously, my intent would never be to hurt or disrespect my family and friends. That is one of the reasons why I am so concerned about this resort pricing situation. Not only do I want to have to pay an exorbitant of money unnecessarily, I also want this to be as cost effective for my family as possible. 

    Ohhhh the stresses of wedding planning. Lol. Anyhow, thank you again for the feedback! 
  • MobKazMobKaz Chicago suburbs
    Ninth Anniversary 5000 Comments 500 Love Its 5 Answers
    member
    How are the comments that have been posted reflective of bullying behavior? Do you need me to list the reasons? 

    First, I came on here for support about something completely different. Clearly, I did not receive that. In fact, I received the exact opposite. Very little said about the purpose of my post, with the exception of insinuations that I should not have signed the contract, etc. Well.... That is not very helpful after the fact. Nothing has been offered in the way of advice on how to move forward. I take that back... With the exception of one person. Not to mention posters insisting on putting words in my mouth! MY GUESTS KNOW OUR PLANS! If I have been transparent in my intentions, how is that rude, disrespectful, lying, etc? I have said that over three times, yet you all continue to say things that just simply are not true! Again, if my guests are fine with our plans, that should be the end of the conversation. What is the issue? It is almost as if you all want to argue and be nasty for the sake of arguing and being nasty. 

    I could go on and on. The overall tone of the feedback that I have received has been nasty. Plain and simple. I do not expect people to not share their opinions, but why be so nasty about it? Why be mean? I do not understand! I came on here thinking this was a group of women who offered support and encouragement and shared their opinions in a spirit of respect and compassion. Your tones suck! Period. You can argue me about it all you want, but that is the reality. If the shoe were on the other foot and these comments were directed toward you, I would be willing to bet money that you would feel the exact same. 

    And make no mistakes about it. My comments have not been passive at all. I am being direct. Any group of women who pounce on a virtually new member of a forum like this... Something else has to be going on in their lives to act so ugly toward someone who has never done anything to them. Someone who they do not even know. It's insane! If you cannot see that, I do not know what else to say...

    But, you know what? I am partially to blame. I accept my responsibility in this. I should've stopped engaging a long time ago.  

    I said, "I am glad you are 100% being honest with your guests.  It’s really disrespectful to downplay the true legal component of your marriage. ".  My first statement is a positive statement.  The second statement is a fact.  Neither is even close to being considered bullying.
    What's up with the signature, Dr. Moore?  Is that some (again) passive direct attempt at trying to diminish/belittle us?
    As others have said, your posts are the only ones that carry attitude and tone, not to mention downright insults.  I don't play that way, so there will be no tit-for-tat from me. 
    Hopefully, once I make my therapy appointment, the suggestion of adopting a hobby will be made so that I can make it a win-win situation.  Please note that although I did not ask for therapy or other mental health advice, you provided it anyway.  **Clarification.....sarcasm does not equal bullying.
    ***And if I had a dollar for every poster that said, "I am DONE with this thread".....
    InLoveInQueensShesSoColdlevioosaahoywedding
  • I am getting married in Puerto Vallarta in October next year and posted previously for advice on various resorts in the area...after reading the (many) posts on here I added a disclaimer that yes it was going to be our legal wedding and was attacked for that. When I clarified that I had read previous posts the response I got was to look for a more specific forum if I was looking for advice on Puerto Vallarta.

    I check this page periodically to see if there is anything on here that would be useful, but if you are looking for honest, real discussion/feedback about a destination wedding there probably isn't much you'll get from here.

    #justsayin
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