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Bridemaids

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Re: Bridemaids

  • ShesSoColdShesSoCold bend over and I'll show ya mod
    Moderator 5000 Comments Fifth Anniversary 500 Love Its
    edited December 2018
    My sister has been very hurtful towards my entire family in the past month. She told us she wanted nothing to do with us because we did not want her "boyfriend" and his son attending Thanksgiving because he had never met the "boyfriend" or son before so she said f us and stayed home. She also told me to stay out of her f-ing life because I told her I did not agree with her choosing to spend Thanksgiving with this guy over spending it with her family especially because she had only just met the guy about 2 weeks before Thanksgiving. Then she turned around and decided she didn't want to be a part of my wedding before she even got the tattoo because I'm a "horrible" sister because I wanted her to spend Thanksgiving with us instead of this guy. 
    How is any of this NOT bullshit judgement?!

    You even put boyfriend in quotes, FFS. Your fiance was once a "boyfriend" of two weeks. 

    Good for her for declining to be in your wedding. She deserves better. I hope someday you're able to understand that you are not in the right here and apologize to her for projecting whatever bullshit you've got going on, onto her.

    ETA - why are we talking about shoes when she already declined to be in your wedding? Your problem solved itself. 
    Image result for someecard betting someone half your shit youll love them forever
    levioosaInLoveInQueensMyNameIsNot
  • I put in quotes because she specifically told us he isn't her boyfriend. She declined prior to Thanksgiving, but has since said she changed her mind. For a little background, my sister was on mood stabilizing medication because she is bipolar, but she quit taking it without telling anyone and ever since she has been very back and forth with her decisions. 
  • ShesSoColdShesSoCold bend over and I'll show ya mod
    Moderator 5000 Comments Fifth Anniversary 500 Love Its
    I put in quotes because she specifically told us he isn't her boyfriend. She declined prior to Thanksgiving, but has since said she changed her mind. For a little background, my sister was on mood stabilizing medication because she is bipolar, but she quit taking it without telling anyone and ever since she has been very back and forth with her decisions. 
    Oh for fuck's sake now you're shitting on her for having a mental illness.

    I cannot. 
    Image result for someecard betting someone half your shit youll love them forever
    levioosaMyNameIsNot
  • I put in quotes because she specifically told us he isn't her boyfriend. She declined prior to Thanksgiving, but has since said she changed her mind. For a little background, my sister was on mood stabilizing medication because she is bipolar, but she quit taking it without telling anyone and ever since she has been very back and forth with her decisions. 
    Oh for fuck's sake now you're shitting on her for having a mental illness.

    I cannot. 
    No I'm not. I think she should be on her medicine because without it she is very reckless and it worries me because I know how she behaved in the past before she was on the medication. Before my sister was on her medicine, she tried to commit suicide and I am the one who found her so don't tell me I don't care about my sister because if I didn't it wouldn't make a difference if she was on her medication or not. There was a reason she was on it and why she never should have quit taking it. 
  • ShesSoColdShesSoCold bend over and I'll show ya mod
    Moderator 5000 Comments Fifth Anniversary 500 Love Its
    I put in quotes because she specifically told us he isn't her boyfriend. She declined prior to Thanksgiving, but has since said she changed her mind. For a little background, my sister was on mood stabilizing medication because she is bipolar, but she quit taking it without telling anyone and ever since she has been very back and forth with her decisions. 
    Oh for fuck's sake now you're shitting on her for having a mental illness.

    I cannot. 
    No I'm not. I think she should be on her medicine because without it she is very reckless and it worries me because I know how she behaved in the past before she was on the medication. Before my sister was on her medicine, she tried to commit suicide and I am the one who found her so don't tell me I don't care about my sister because if I didn't it wouldn't make a difference if she was on her medication or not. There was a reason she was on it and why she never should have quit taking it. 
    So she's in the middle of a legit crisis and you're pissed at her for getting a tattoo?

    Yeah, sister of the year right here. 
    Image result for someecard betting someone half your shit youll love them forever
    levioosaInLoveInQueens
  • I plan on still having my sister in my wedding. I am not pissed she got the tattoo I just would have preferred she waited. I am concerned about my sister's decisions lately and if that makes me a bad sister so be it. 
  • climbingwifeclimbingwife NYC 'burbs member
    10000 Comments Fifth Anniversary 500 Love Its 5 Answers
    Team Sister. You are treating her horribly. WOW. 

    Your sister is bipolar and off of her meds. And you're more concerned that she got a tattoo and will ruin your pictures. Perspective, you have none. 

    thisismynickname2InLoveInQueens
  • I plan on still having my sister in my wedding. I am not pissed she got the tattoo I just would have preferred she waited. I am concerned about my sister's decisions lately and if that makes me a bad sister so be it. 
    Okay, but the way you’re describing her has all been about how she’s going to affect your pictures and zero about how you actually care about her well-being, so...
  • ShesSoColdShesSoCold bend over and I'll show ya mod
    Moderator 5000 Comments Fifth Anniversary 500 Love Its
  • edited December 2018
    Yes I am concerned about my pictures, but I am also concerned about if she is even in the right place mentally to be in my wedding. We have to be very careful about how handle things with her because she threatens to cut us out of her life if we do not do things her way. I love my sister dearly. I never said I was not going to have her in my wedding because of the tattoo. I am not happy with her getting the tattoo, but she is my sister and with or without the tattoo I still want her in my wedding. 
  • levioosalevioosa Southern California member
    5000 Comments Fifth Anniversary 500 Love Its 5 Answers
    Yes I am concerned about my pictures, but I am also concerned about if she is even in the right place mentally to be in my wedding. We have to be very careful about how handle things with her because she threatens to cut us out of her life if we do not do things her way. I love my sister dearly. I never said I was not going to have her in my wedding because of the tattoo. I am not happy with her getting the tattoo, but she is my sister and with or without the tattoo I still want her in my wedding. 
    Or....you take the wedding out of the equation right now? Seriously, OP? Your sister is having a crisis and you’re more concerned about how it relates to
    your wedding. That is so incredibly wrong. 


    image
    ShesSoColdInLoveInQueens
  • climbingwifeclimbingwife NYC 'burbs member
    10000 Comments Fifth Anniversary 500 Love Its 5 Answers
    Yes I am concerned about my pictures, but I am also concerned about if she is even in the right place mentally to be in my wedding. We have to be very careful about how handle things with her because she threatens to cut us out of her life if we do not do things her way. I love my sister dearly. I never said I was not going to have her in my wedding because of the tattoo. I am not happy with her getting the tattoo, but she is my sister and with or without the tattoo I still want her in my wedding. 
    And yet, you only mentioned her mental health issues to try to prove a point that she's a jerk. If your true concern was her mental health, you would have posted about that. But you didn't. You complained about a tattoo (that she got while off her meds??) and her new boyfriend. 

    InLoveInQueens
  • I think you'd benefit from some counseling in how to deal with someone who has mental illness.

    Also, you need a big dose here of accepting what is and is not in your locus of control.

    Things that are OK to control
    -Dress choice for the BMs (if it meets their budgets).

    Things that are on the fence to control:
    -Shoe color/style.   If the BM dresses are long this is really nit picky.   I'd try to compromise here and if your sister wants to wear sneakers just tell her that the sneakers are fine once the reception starts.   She's off duty by that time anyway.

    Things that are not for you to control:
    -Anything with your sister's daily appearance.  

    You are more than fine to dislike any tattoo.   That's all you're allowed to do.    Unless your venue has some kind of a requirement then she can show them as she pleases and you have to let it go.

    As far as how she behaves with this guy: stop trying to control her.   If she has issues in judgement questioning her judgement is not going to go over well.   She is pulling at things that are within her ability to control.  When you or other family members try to tell her what to do she's exercising her control of a situation to prove you wrong.    

    Stop trying to micromanage any of this.   It's only going to give your sister license to find more things that she can do because you told her you didn't want her to.
    charlotte989875
  • MyNameIsNotMyNameIsNot Atlanta member
    Ninth Anniversary 5000 Comments 500 Love Its First Answer
    edited December 2018
    Yes I am concerned about my pictures, but I am also concerned about if she is even in the right place mentally to be in my wedding. We have to be very careful about how handle things with her because she threatens to cut us out of her life if we do not do things her way. I love my sister dearly. I never said I was not going to have her in my wedding because of the tattoo. I am not happy with her getting the tattoo, but she is my sister and with or without the tattoo I still want her in my wedding. 
    She wants to cut you out of her life because of how you judge her and try to control her. And she should. You are the definition of a toxic sibling. 

    You should be ashamed of yourself. Instead, you are worried about your damned wedding. This is disgusting. 
    climbingwifeShesSoCold
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