Dreaded detour

mrsconn23

Dear Prudence, 

My significant other, myself, and her sister are planning a cross-country road trip for New Year’s. We’ve been planning it for about three months, and last week my SO’s sister asked that we make a detour to pick up her boyfriend. My SO and I don’t get along with him and generally disapprove of their relationship, but we acknowledge they’re together and we can’t do anything about it. This detour would add at least three hours to our already 22-hour drive, and will force us to take a worse route (hitting more cities and therefore more traffic) and to be stuck in a car with someone we don’t get along with after more than 15 hours of driving. It’s ridiculous, and we’re at a loss as to what to do.

—Directionless Driver

CharmedPam

“Hey I’d love for so and so to join us... but it’s 3 hours out of our way, and I didn’t anticipate going to said cities.  He can partake but he’ll have to find his own way there”.   And then LW can just hope he can’t find a way there.

ShesSoCold

So, if I were close enough to my sister to plan a 22 hour road trip with her, I'd probably be close enough to flat out tell her I don't like it. "Sister, you know that we've been planning this for a while now and adding three additional hours so late is kind of a lot. Also, I feel bad about this but I'm not the biggest fan of your boyfriend. I understand it's not my place and I'm happy if you're happy but I really think we'd have a lot more fun with just the three of us, as we originally planned."

VarunaTT

I'd say no b/c adding 3 hours and traffic is a big deal.  Offer up if BF can find his way to X point, you'd be willing to pick him up.  I'd leave out that you don't like the BF or approve of the relationship.  It doesn't matter if you're family or not, that conversation never goes well.

banana468

"We can't go in that direction due to the time that it will add to the trip but if he's able to get some kind of ride and meet us in X city along the way at Y time we can pick him up.   If that's not going to work then let me know if you'd rather we drop YOU off in X city instead." 

charlotte989875

What does the SO want to do? 

If shes also against this have her be straight with her sister. Let her be the one to say it’s too far out of the way. I’d leave it at that. If sister wants to find a way for the BF to meet up without taking the detour I think you grin and bare it. But I wouldn’t offer up picking him up along the way unless she brings it up. 

ei34

Another vote for agreeing to let the bf come if he can get himself to a more convenient pickup spot.