Monday

6fsn

Soooooo much to do this week.  How was the weekend?

Friday night we took the kids to the ILs so we could do DH's Christmas party. It was actually a lot of fun. 

Saturday back to the ILs to get the kids and celebrate Christmas. Asshole story ahead....

DH's grandmother did the Swim for Diabetes for DECADES.  She had a t-shirt from every year that she did it.  Last year she passed and BIL took all of the t-shirts.  MIL though they had been pitched, but BIL had them made into a quilt for her.  MIL loved it.  She cried. SIL made sure to get it all on video.

They also had the t-shirts made into quilts for the kids.  DH commented that he would have rather just had the shirts to do with as he pleased instead of having the quilt. He also said commented it would be hard to split it among our kids.

So this is where I turn into the asshole.  BIL and his wife have this history of doing these sappy things, taking videos and pictures and posting all over.  Of course this is no different.  He's posted and his mom posted and everyone is all "what a great and thoughtful son." It will never be DH's personality to do something like this, but just once I would like for him to be acknowledged as a thoughtful son for the things he does do.

I'm also sad that DH would have rather had these shirts to do with as he pleased.  I don't know what he would have done, but a big quilt in a color he doesn't like isn't what he wanted and now that choice has been taken from him. It's like the wine bottles from his grandfather that BIL turned into lamps.  DH wanted the bottles to do with as HE wanted to remember his grandfather.  BIL made everyone lamps.  MIL cried and "he's so thoughtful!" posted away.

It's ok to call me an asshole.  I acknowledge they aren't the nicest feelings to have when someone was trying to be thoughtful (although I don't believe he's TRULY being thoughtful as much as he's trying to put on a show).  I do stand by it's not that kind to take the choice from DH though.

banana468

@6fsn I understand I think.   Your BIL isn't doing something necessarily bad but he's opting to take a family priceless item (something that you can't really replace) and now he's taking it upon himself to determine how that keepsake should be used by the balance of the family without consulting.  And when you make a decision for other grown adults not everyone may be pleased by that AND it has a way to feel like people are now entrusting your BIL with these family heirlooms over your H - am I right? 

Also I get about the big picture things.   DH is not a guy who is in the spotlight and when BIL pulls spotlight stuff I roll my eyes at it.   But DH is the guy everyone calls when they need advice on everything but heating and cooling (that's FIL) so no one buys a car or a computer or major home electronic purchase without DH and yet BIL is all "Look we swooped into town and look at how awesome this stuff is." 

Today's update: I'm on pins and needles and feeling like I want to compromise with God.   Why?  Half the preschool is out with a stomach bug.   There's nothing that triggers anxiety like seeing the possibility that vomit may enter your home a week before Christmas especially when you're hosting nearly 2 dozen people in your home.  I would like the bug to never it at all or tomorrow.   Is that too much to ask?? 

short+sassy

@6fsn, I actually really like the idea of turning the t-shirts into quilts.  Especially for your MIL, since she was thrilled with it.  But totally agree with you and your H.  Since these were special t-shirts for the whole family, it should have been discussed and agreed to what was going to be done with them.  It could have been a great gift that all the siblings went in on and, since there were t-shirts left over, the extras could have been divvied up between them.  To either keep as...ya know, t-shirts that can still be worn...or turned into another quilt.  Or something else.

Last full week before my 5-day Christmas weekend!  It's the motivation that is keeping me going, lol.

I caught up on rest this weekend and am feeling a lot better.  Didn't do much on Fri. or Sat., but did a big Costco trip on Sun.

I need to make a list today of stuff to get done before the end of the year.  So much (sigh).  I procrastinate WAY too much, lol. 

charlotte989875

I mean I definitely wouldn’t say you’re an asshole 6. Did BIL mention to your H he was doing anything with the shirts? I feel like if this was a big thing to the family that a heads up would have been a nice thing to do. How long have the shirts been sitting around? If it’s been a long time and no one has done anything with them, I’d say it’s sort of okay for people to do things with them. Again, I totally agree a heads up would have been nice. 

Weekend was good. Pretty quiet overall, had brunch with a friend on Saturday. We’ve never hung out 1:1 before then but it was super fun. Then a little shopping and a run. Nice and relaxing. 

short+sassy

@banana468, sending out good vibes and lucky thoughts for the stomach bug to leave the Banana Bunch alone!

CharmedPam

I get you, 6.  A convo before it was done would have been nice. “i’m thinkinng of making a quilt out of grandma’s shirts. Yay or nay?” vs. “here’s what I made out of grandma’s shirts!”

I had a boring weekend.  Nothing really to report but it’s basically the last “working” week before the new year.  I doubt anything will get done 26-28.  And I’m super tired. And sore. And just want to go home, crawl in my bed and watch family fued and the season finale of holiday baking championship. 
Edit for spelling since I’m on my damn phone now

6fsn

Grandma passed less than a year ago and bil never said a word about his plan. Dh would have preferred to do something we could divide by 3 should our kids want them in the future. 

banana468

short+sassy said:

@banana468, sending out good vibes and lucky thoughts for the stomach bug to leave the Banana Bunch alone!

I am SO SICK (pun intended) of stomach bugs or illness screwing up plans:
-When Chiquita was 1 she had an ear infection for Christmas
-When Chiquita was 2 DH had shingles
-A month later when Chiquita was 2 she woke up on DH's birthday and puked on me on Superbowl Sunday.   We had to cancel DH's birthday party.
-When she turned 3 I was pregnant and the slight nauseated feeling kicked in - at least that one wasn't sickness but it made things interesting!
-When Chiquito was 1 he vomited the day before we went to the North Pole.   DH took one for the team and we lost $70 bucks on two tickets we couldn't use because father and son had to stay home. 
-When Chiquito was 2 he woke up at 2 AM on DH's birthday and puked.   DH's home birthday dinner went on as planned but the next day *I* came down with the same bug and we had to cancel the plans of hosting the family at our house.   Two days later Chiquita had it.
-9 months later we narrowly escaped when Chiquito got sick two days before Thanksgiving. 

Come on.  Can we catch a break please???    

ShesSoCold

I agree with everyone that you're not an asshole, 6. I totally get it. I don't need a parade for doing nice things but when you see someone else getting a ton of recognition for things and you do different, but still thoughtful things (I'm picturing H cleaning his dad's gutters while I'm the greatest person ever for sending over leftover coffeecake), it's gotta sting a bit. 

I had a good weekend. Had fun with my aunt and uncle Saturday and the Bears clinched the division. Holy hell we're in the playoffs. As my mother would say, I could just shit. 

Last full week of work...I can do this. 

banana468

6fsn said:

Grandma passed less than a year ago and bil never said a word about his plan. Dh would have preferred to do something we could divide by 3 should our kids want them in the future. 

Is BIL the type to keep his plan to himself because his plans are good and surprises are good and we should all appreciate the effort he made because he has the best ideas? 

charlotte989875

6fsn said:

Grandma passed less than a year ago and bil never said a word about his plan. Dh would have preferred to do something we could divide by 3 should our kids want them in the future. 

Oh, see I was thinking these were hanging around for years or something. Less than a year? Nope you run that by everyone. 

climbingsingle

6, agree that your BIL should have run that by everyone. I'd be upset. 

This weekend went by way too fast. 

mrsconn23

I get it, 6.  You're not an asshole.   BIL sounds thoughtful, but also gets his rocks off on being the 'thoughtful' son and that leads his thinking on what 'thoughtful' thing to do next.  Damn anyone else's ideas or desires.   And the whole AW-ing and "OMG, look at what he did!  He's SO thoughtful!" is just salt in the wound of all of it.  IDK how to manage the politics of it, because every family is different.  I can see how this is a frustrating cycle for you guys.   

Weekend kicked my ass.  

Friday, DefConn and I hung out at home.  I did prep for cookie baking and stuff for Saturday.  

Saturday, had to get up early so my sister could come get me.  Went to my other sister's house and baked cookies all day.  We also did December birthdays (kiddo (he was at work though), sister, and nephew).  DH got home around 9pm Saturday night from NC.  

Sunday, we got up early.  I did some prep to make cinnamon rolls (dough needed to rise) and then we went to the store.  After we got back, I finished the cinnamon rolls and then made rolo pretzels.  I think I have my cranberry margaritas for Christmas perfected.  And then I did another marathon wrapping session.  After I dragged all the presents for other people downstairs because there was no more room for them in my bedroom, I was beat. 

kvruns

I'm tired and grumpy. It is sunny outside and I just want to go somewhere (run errands, shop, whatever) but my office is right behind a mall and surrounded by shopping areas and traffic is a nightmare at lunch time this time of year so it is best to stay put. I could go walk a lap around the parking lot and I might do it just to get outside a bit or I'll just stay inside and complain hahaha.

OliveOilsMom

6 - I think BIL overstepped.  While the idea for MIL was perfect, the idea for the shirts for your family was not ideal.  I do think that DH should approach BIL, after the holidays.  "BIL, I appreciate the things you have done to make grandma and grandpa's items useful for MIL after their passings.  But the items you have done for us, don't fit well with 3 kids, who specifically wanted some of grandmas t-shirts.  I also have other ideas on how to use items that get passed down to us.  Please let me know in the future about these ideas before you do them for us."  Depending on the size of the quilt, could you cut it up into 3 and have it be a small blanket to keep on the end of each kid's bed?  Or turn some of the shirt squares into teddy bears or stitch onto t-shirts?

Banana - Have you tried the Welch's grape juice thing?  Supposedly, if anyone who doesn't have the stomach flu starts drinking the grape juice (it has to be the red stuff), they don't get the stomach flu.  I had stomach flu 2 weeks ago and it was a bad one.  Thankfully I was the only one who got it, I started in the middle of the night, so no time to try the grape juice hack on H or DD.

SSC & S+S - Somehow my Eagles won last night and I know that helped the Bears & Saints on their playoffs chances and first round byes, so you're welcome! LOL!

Weekend was good.  DD got her hair cut on Friday and it went ok.  Headed down to the Amish mart, for delicious goodies.  Saturday I took my niece shopping for her birthday outfit after a month passing by!  Then church and dinner out at a newish wing place.  It was pretty good!  Sunday was Santa pics and DD was not a fan!  We have been playing Santa up, she says "Ho, ho, ho!", but as soon as the real life mall one came into view, she immediately turned into me and started crying!  We ended up with a half-decent picture, even though she cried through it all!  Then as we went to walk out, she says "Bye-bye" to Santa.  Oh kid!

My pink eye is back and with it my last pair of contacts went in the trash.  We need to go back to the eye doctor in January anyway, but I was hoping my last pair of lenses would last until than

This week will be preparing to host our 7 fishes on Sunday.  I have pretty much all presents wrapped, so its really just focusing on getting the house in order and doing some food prep.

sparklepants41

@6fsn I completely agree with PPs - you are by no means an asshole and your BIL was out of line. 

Weekend was relatively uneventful but good. I suspect Babypants might be getting her 2-year molars in early because she wanted nothing to do with anything that had to be chewed this weekend (so literally just ate bananas, pouches, and soft scrambled eggs) and has been adamantly refusing to brush her teeth (something she normally LOVES to do). Last time this happened was end October/early November when she got all four canines in at once.  

levioosa

@6fsn I agree with PPs. I like OliveOil’s wording on something perhaps to say. I think it’s the showmanship of it all that really gets me. It would be one thing if he was just clueless and trying to be thoughtful, but it sounds like there’s another layer. 

@banana468 good vibes for staying healthy. 

This weekend was pretty good. We went to FI’s work party on Friday. It was okay. Not really as good as usual, but we still had a good time. Saturday was pretty much a recovery day, and yesterday we started rearranging the house for the dinner we’re having on Saturday. Final count right now is 19 and it is so tight in here. I might have over invited. But there will be enough seats, food, and booze so that’s what counts, right? Lol. 

This week is all about preparing the house for Saturday. Today I also have to do some shopping for last minute things and I have to take Squish to get microchipped. I’m a bad cat mom and forgot to have them do it when he was neutered. Although I’m a little annoyed at the vet. Usually they ask if you want to microchip and they didn’t mention it at all. Poor Squish. At least it will be quick. 

ei34

I also don’t think you’re an asshole 6.  BIL posting for all the world to see how thoughtful he is would annoy me. 
Thats some streak @banana468...good luck this week!
Celebrated my middle sister’s birthday on Saturday and had a low key yesterday which was nice.  College applications with 2018 deadlines are all in and the last day before Christmas week is Thursday so work is kind of light this week  

For anyone interested in my SIL meal request update, they got back to me Friday evening and told me to just serve whatever I’d originally planned.  I am going to add in the lobster ravioli in pink sauce and linguine with white clam sauce.  Both being pasta dishes will stretch them a bit.  I always put a jumbo shrimp cocktail ring out with appetizers. So three seafood options should be nice enough. 

short+sassy

OliveOilsMom said:

Banana - Have you tried the Welch's grape juice thing?  Supposedly, if anyone who doesn't have the stomach flu starts drinking the grape juice (it has to be the red stuff), they don't get the stomach flu.  I had stomach flu 2 weeks ago and it was a bad one.  Thankfully I was the only one who got it, I started in the middle of the night, so no time to try the grape juice hack on H or DD.

SSC & S+S - Somehow my Eagles won last night and I know that helped the Bears & Saints on their playoffs chances and first round byes, so you're welcome! LOL!

Weekend was good.  DD got her hair cut on Friday and it went ok.  Headed down to the Amish mart, for delicious goodies.  Saturday I took my niece shopping for her birthday outfit after a month passing by!  Then church and dinner out at a newish wing place.  It was pretty good!  Sunday was Santa pics and DD was not a fan!  We have been playing Santa up, she says "Ho, ho, ho!", but as soon as the real life mall one came into view, she immediately turned into me and started crying!  We ended up with a half-decent picture, even though she cried through it all!  Then as we went to walk out, she says "Bye-bye" to Santa.  Oh kid!

My pink eye is back and with it my last pair of contacts went in the trash.  We need to go back to the eye doctor in January anyway, but I was hoping my last pair of lenses would last until than

This week will be preparing to host our 7 fishes on Sunday.  I have pretty much all presents wrapped, so its really just focusing on getting the house in order and doing some food prep.

Yes, yes it does!  Yay Eagles!  My H and I were very excited, though (sorry!) a little surprised they beat the Rams.  It's one of the things I find fun about getting to the end of the regular season.  I start caring more about and paying more attention to what is happening with other games/teams, lol.

I don't know if they air this commercial where you live, but there is a guy who gets on an elevator wearing an Eagles Christmas sweater.  Complete with lights and it is playing a Christmas carol.  He asks the guy who is already on the elevator, wearing a different team's Christmas sweater, to hit the button for the 8th floor.  The guy asks him something like (with a side-eye), "Is that playing music?"  The Eagles guy says "yes" and again makes a request for the 8th floor button to be pushed.  The other guy has gotten to his floor and, on his way out, pushes the buttons for 4-7.  Eagles guy yells to his back, "Superbowl Champs!"

Sounds like DD likes Santa, but only with some distance, lol.

Hope your pink eye gets better soon!  I hope you have some glasses to at least wear until you see the eye doctor in Jan.

OliveOilsMom

short+sassy said:

OliveOilsMom said:

Banana - Have you tried the Welch's grape juice thing?  Supposedly, if anyone who doesn't have the stomach flu starts drinking the grape juice (it has to be the red stuff), they don't get the stomach flu.  I had stomach flu 2 weeks ago and it was a bad one.  Thankfully I was the only one who got it, I started in the middle of the night, so no time to try the grape juice hack on H or DD.

SSC & S+S - Somehow my Eagles won last night and I know that helped the Bears & Saints on their playoffs chances and first round byes, so you're welcome! LOL!

Weekend was good.  DD got her hair cut on Friday and it went ok.  Headed down to the Amish mart, for delicious goodies.  Saturday I took my niece shopping for her birthday outfit after a month passing by!  Then church and dinner out at a newish wing place.  It was pretty good!  Sunday was Santa pics and DD was not a fan!  We have been playing Santa up, she says "Ho, ho, ho!", but as soon as the real life mall one came into view, she immediately turned into me and started crying!  We ended up with a half-decent picture, even though she cried through it all!  Then as we went to walk out, she says "Bye-bye" to Santa.  Oh kid!

My pink eye is back and with it my last pair of contacts went in the trash.  We need to go back to the eye doctor in January anyway, but I was hoping my last pair of lenses would last until than

This week will be preparing to host our 7 fishes on Sunday.  I have pretty much all presents wrapped, so its really just focusing on getting the house in order and doing some food prep.

Yes, yes it does!  Yay Eagles!  My H and I were very excited, though (sorry!) a little surprised they beat the Rams.  It's one of the things I find fun about getting to the end of the regular season.  I start caring more about and paying more attention to what is happening with other games/teams, lol.

I don't know if they air this commercial where you live, but there is a guy who gets on an elevator wearing an Eagles Christmas sweater.  Complete with lights and it is playing a Christmas carol.  He asks the guy who is already on the elevator, wearing a different team's Christmas sweater, to hit the button for the 8th floor.  The guy asks him something like (with a side-eye), "Is that playing music?"  The Eagles guy says "yes" and again makes a request for the 8th floor button to be pushed.  The other guy has gotten to his floor and, on his way out, pushes the buttons for 4-7.  Eagles guy yells to his back, "Superbowl Champs!"

Sounds like DD likes Santa, but only with some distance, lol.

Hope your pink eye gets better soon!  I hope you have some glasses to at least wear until you see the eye doctor in Jan.

I was surprised the Eagles won too!  LOL, there were comments on various FB posts today that said "Commentators - No one expects the Eagles to Win.  Nick Foles - Hold my Bible!"  So it was a surprise to many folks!

I have seen that commercial!  I laughed!

Yes, I have glasses, I'm just tired of wearing them!  I guess it was a good thing I had them updated last time, so they are at least my current prescription!