Pre-wedding Parties

Two Destination Bachelorette & Bachelor Parties Within 2 Months

Hello! Looking for a little insight/advise/guidance here. My fiance and I got engaged December 2017 and are getting married November 2019. Our wedding is in our hometown and none of our friends will need to travel. We have both decided we'd like to do destination bachelor/bachelorette parties. 
Our good friends got engaged right before Christmas, and have mentioned they are wanting to get married in Mexico. My fiance is a groomsman, so that is a wedding we will be attending. I overheard the groom say it will be September or October 2019. Our friend (groom) would also like to have a destination bachelor party, in August 2019. The other bride and myself are good friends (she will be invited to my bachelorette) and we have mutual friends who would be invited to both weddings and bachelorette/bachelor parties. 

Their wedding will be before ours, and we will have to pay for a lot prior to our big day. We do have a budget we need to stick to, and money is not the biggest issue for them. I am nothing but happy for them, but I am slightly freaking out because I feel like the other bride and groom/our mutual friends will not be able to attend mine and my fiances' bachelorette/bachelor parties because they will be financially tapped out by the time our events roll around. 

I don't know if I'm being a brat/making myself upset over nothing or if I have a right to feel annoyed. My fiance and I will make it work, but I'm concerned about the mutual friends between us two couples. Any advise on what we should do? 

Re: Two Destination Bachelorette & Bachelor Parties Within 2 Months

  • Both my fiance and I have other people planning our bachelor and bachelorette parties. I'm concerned all of our friends will have to choose one or the other because our events are likely to be after the other groom/bride. 
  • climbingwifeclimbingwife NYC 'burbs member
    10000 Comments Sixth Anniversary 500 Love Its 5 Answers
    Both my fiance and I have other people planning our bachelor and bachelorette parties. I'm concerned all of our friends will have to choose one or the other because our events are likely to be after the other groom/bride. 
    It sounds like they haven't even set a date yet. Or planned any parties. I think your annoyance is premature and a bit unfounded. When you insist on a destination bachelorette party, this can be the drawback. Not everyone will be able to afford to attend. If it's really that important to have everyone there, have a local party. 

  • I just think this is something out of your control (and therefore) not really something to get upset over. You’re allowed to have the wedding & parties that would want, but so is this other couple. Unfortunately sometimes that conflicts. Your other friends will have to make the choices that work for them, and maybe that means skipping one (or all) of these parties or events. That’s disappointing, but the reality of destination weddings/parties. 

    That said if you really want to make it so that all your friends can attend then the easiest thing to do is to have a local party. Do I think a DW and destination parties for the same couple is excessive? Sure I do, but if that’s what they want to do (and people have offered to throw these parties for them) there really isn’t much you can. 
    short+sassyei34InLoveInQueenslevioosa
  • Don't let anxiety over who can attend your bachelorette/bachelor parties overshadow your actual wedding. You can still have a great wedding and reception without having any pre-parties, so keep that in mind.

    If I were you, I would ask whoever's doing the planning to hold the bachelorette do in my hometown and then go somewhere fun for the honeymoon.
  • bubblylovebubblylove member
    Sixth Anniversary 100 Love Its 10 Comments First Answer
    edited January 2019
    Destination bach parties are a pain for everyone frankly and add more expense to your best friends. I would have something awesome locally. 
    InLoveInQueens
  • A honeymoon is for the bride and groom. How on earth is this a pain for their friends?
  • flantasticflantastic The Midwest member
    Sixth Anniversary 2500 Comments 500 Love Its 5 Answers
    maine7mob said:
    A honeymoon is for the bride and groom. How on earth is this a pain for their friends?
    I'm sure she meant bachelor/bachelorette, since that's what the OP wrote.
    ShesSoCold
  • Yep, I just spaced. 
  • Oh, I gotcha! For one horrifying minute, I thought there was some hideous new trend that involved bringing wedding guests on the honeymoon!
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