My father died of a heart attack four years ago when I was 16. I miss him every day; he was my champion, my cheerleader, and my best friend. My mom and younger brothers have moved on. My brothers were only 6 and 8 when he died. My mom’s new guy is fine—he makes my mom laugh, and he is good with my brothers. I hate him, and I know this is not rational or right. I am trying to deal with it with the limited counseling at my school. I haven’t been home since I started college. I see my family when we visit my maternal grandparents in another state. I can deal with the boyfriend in that element. I can make small talk and smile over the kitchen table. Not my home. He is already “remodeling” and has gotten rid of my father’s garden to put in a new pool. Everyone else loves it.
Over Christmas, I laid low and ignored my phone. My mom left me a horrible voicemail where she announced her engagement and told me how I was making everyone miserable and that I needed to decide if I want to be part of this family. She told me Dad would hate me for the way I am acting. Maybe she can forget him, but I can’t, and I don’t know what to do. I spent the entire day crying. I don’t know how to respond to this. Help me, please.