I'm in a destination wedding this fall - in Nashville, all of the BP (+ the bride) live in MI except the MOH - and now the bride is doing a destination bachelorette as well in Napa. Unfortunately I already purchased my (non-refundable/exchangeable) plane ticket, so saying I cannot attend isn't really an option, but I'm not sure how to handle the cost situation. The MOH sent out an email the other day with all the costs per person listed out, which has us all splitting the costs of everything for the bride minus her travel and accommodations. I feel like this is a bit excessive. In addition to wine tastings, we're doing some tours, a pretty expensive dinner, etc., so the costs are quickly adding up. I feel like since the bachelorette party is destination, the bride should be covering herself for activities, meals, etc. except maybe we all buy her a drink or two each. I'm not sure how to bring this up with the MOH. I've never met any of the other girls in the party MOH included. Being in this wedding was already going to cost a lot since it's a destination in the first place, but now with the destination bachelorette is just becoming too much.
How do I bring this up with the MOH? Or do I just pitch in like everyone else and keep my mouth shut?