Church Convalidation after civil ceremony 5 years ago

mrssjm

Hi everyone! I'm looking for some honest feedback. My husband and I got married 5 years ago in a civil ceremony with about 100 people present for the wedding and reception. He has finally be given his annulment from his ex wife last year. We are excited to get our marriage blessed by the catholic church and would like to celebrate it somehow. However, we are not sure how we would like to go about this. Seeing that we have been married for 5 years already and have children, we aren't looking to have a full on wedding and reception again. We would like to celebrate it just because we are very excited to have our marriage recognized by the church! Any advice or viewpoints is appreciated! Thank you!

justsie

soontobemartino said:

Hi everyone! I'm looking for some honest feedback. My husband and I got married 5 years ago in a civil ceremony with about 100 people present for the wedding and reception. He has finally be given his annulment from his ex wife last year. We are excited to get our marriage blessed by the catholic church and would like to celebrate it somehow. However, we are not sure how we would like to go about this. Seeing that we have been married for 5 years already and have children, we aren't looking to have a full on wedding and reception again. We would like to celebrate it just because we are very excited to have our marriage recognized by the church! Any advice or viewpoints is appreciated! Thank you!

Why not just throw a party and invite your friends?

MobKaz

Congratulations! Typically a convalidation is a quieter ceremony in terms of "pomp and circumstance".  You could wear a simple white dress but wearing a bridal gown of any sort is not expected.  Have you spoken yet to anyone in your parish?  That would be the best first step to take.
You can decide whether you want to have a small and intimate guest list, or expand it to family and friends.  Personally, I see no reason why you can't host a party following your ceremony, but I would liken it more to an anniversary party than a wedding reception.

LondonLisa

This isn't a wedding so don't treat it like one. There is nothing stopping you throwing a party, but stay away from anything bridal or wedding related (no gowns, formal wear, attendants, gifts etc). Everyone likes parties, so just treat it like any other party you would throw.  Have fun. 

MyNameIsNot

One of my cousins did a convalidation after finally getting her first marriage annulled. Her parish treated it very different from a wedding. It was on a Thursday evening. It was a full mass, but without elaborate music or processionals and only about 30 people attending, it only took about 45 minutes. Of course the priest performed the sacrament of matrimony, but no one was pretending that the couple weren't already married. Cousin wore an ivory BM dress and her husband wore a suit. 

I've also heard of churches doing them immediately following Sunday mass, just like you would a baptism. I believe it's possible to do the sacrament only without the full mass, but that may vary by parish. (And I'm sure it's possible to do them on Friday or Saturday at parishes that don't routinely have multiple weddings every week.) Cousin then treated us all to a nice dinner in a private room of a local restaurant. 

mrssjm

Thank you all for your feedback! I really appreciate it. We were thinking about doing just a small party at our house. No more than 30 people. Would it be rude to have just the ceremony with my husband, myself, and our children? Then a party at our house after? We thought about going out to a nice dinner after but there are so many young children in my husband's family and we can't leave them out. 

ShesSoCold

mrssjm said:

Thank you all for your feedback! I really appreciate it. We were thinking about doing just a small party at our house. No more than 30 people. Would it be rude to have just the ceremony with my husband, myself, and our children? Then a party at our house after? We thought about going out to a nice dinner after but there are so many young children in my husband's family and we can't leave them out. 

That sounds lovely! For a wedding, it's okay to have a private ceremony with immediate family only and then a larger reception so I can't see why a covalidation would be any different. Congrats!!

MesmrEwe

mrssjm said:

Thank you all for your feedback! I really appreciate it. We were thinking about doing just a small party at our house. No more than 30 people. Would it be rude to have just the ceremony with my husband, myself, and our children? Then a party at our house after? We thought about going out to a nice dinner after but there are so many young children in my husband's family and we can't leave them out. 

HMT - Invite those to both that you'd invite to your house to party afterwards keeping it small obviously.  As others said, this is something that's not unusual to have done like a Baptism or Anniversary Vow Renewal during mass or after depending on the parish.  Once you've talked with the priest about the logistics of how they do things, then you can decide with that information what route to take.  

And yes, go ahead and get yourself a nice dress to wear, it's prom shopping season so awesome time of year with tons of options out there of all levels of dress to fit a budget.  Suit time for YH if he doesn't already own one.  As others mentioned, wouldn't go for the wedding gown unless of course, it still fits and you want to LOL (I have a friend whose goal is to wear her dress every year on her anniversary just because!)..