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  • I have been putting together my bridal party over the past couple of months thinking over everyone who is in it very carefully. I have a core group of girl friends (4 of them) that I spend time with. One is married (lives nearby), one is pregnant (lives nearby) and one is pregnant & recently moved away.  I see & talk with the ones nearby often.  The one that moved not as much but we visit when we are near each other.  I asked the one other girl (married) to be a bridesmaid and she said yes.  

    I initially told myself I wouldn't ask the other girls for couple a reason.  They will be having their babies in the next couple of months and their lives and that's a major change.  The other concern I have is that our friendship could change...  I had some friends (good friends), that once they had their babies they stopped being friends.  They are friends that I would have asked to be in my wedding party if it was a couple years ago.  I said I'd drive to them, meet for lunch, do whatever it would be to make things easier for them but the friendship ran dry.  We are still friendly but I am over trying to make the effort. They hang out with other families with kids (which can be easier I know). 

    I know that just because I had this happen with a couple friends doesn't mean it will be the same situation because I have other friends that are still great friends with kids.

    After all getting together for the first time in a year I'm thinking I can need to reconsider it - if it helps their babies will be approx 9 months at old at the time at the wedding and we are having a no children wedding.  They are great friends now and i love the time we spent together but idk if thats because it's a fresh feeling.  I also don't want to put this on them financially or with their schedule.  I I'm comfortable with the one girl I asked since we are the closest.

    Not that it really makes a difference but I wasn't in any of their weddings.
    So if you choose not to ask these ladies, who you otherwise would, simply because they have children you are effectively judging them based not on how they act but how other people completely unrelated to this situation have acted. That, IMO, is not a great way to treat a fiend.

    The parts about the financial/schedule issues, you’re making that decision for them by not asking them rather than letting them decide what they can do and just assuming they can’t/won’t make it work. 

    I think if you care about these women and want them standing by your side when you get married you should ask them to be a bridesmaid. If you don’t, then don’t ask them. 

    Andpluslaso, you can’t know if your friendship with any of these people will change, with or without kids. 
    MyNameIsNotshort+sassyInLoveInQueens
  • climbingwifeclimbingwife NYC 'burbs
    10000 Comments Fifth Anniversary 500 Love Its 5 Answers
    member
    When is your wedding? 

    Ask the people you consider to be your very best friends. It's really that simple. 

  • I've never been a "best friends" kind of person I've always had a lot of really good friends so my wedding party is made up of a mix of family, a couple long time friends and current friends - it's in January 
  • Ok thank you for your honesty
  • I’d wait until the summer to ask your BP.  Six months out is a good timeframe.  (I asked mine at 5 mos out.)  As you said yourself your relationship with friends from a couple of years ago has changed.  

    knottie8f5704e947c41111InLoveInQueensMesmrEwe
  • climbingwifeclimbingwife NYC 'burbs
    10000 Comments Fifth Anniversary 500 Love Its 5 Answers
    member
    I've never been a "best friends" kind of person I've always had a lot of really good friends so my wedding party is made up of a mix of family, a couple long time friends and current friends - it's in January 
    You have time to wait. Typically people ask about 6-9 months before. But my advice is to pick the people you are closest to. Don't not ask someone because you think your relationship may change some time in the future. 

    short+sassycharlotte989875
  • KnottieOP, you just drew a lot of attention to an innocent enough post 
    ILoveBeachMusicmissJeanLouiseMesmrEwe
  • ILoveBeachMusicILoveBeachMusic Indiana
    2500 Comments 500 Love Its Fourth Anniversary 5 Answers
    member
    and you can't close a post.
    missJeanLouise
  • eileenrob said:
    KnottieOP, you just drew a lot of attention to an innocent enough post 
    This!!! I so came for the bat signal!!!!  

    Yea - OP wait a few months to choose and take the babies out of the equation!  Who do you want yourself surrounded by on your wedding day even if that meant they couldn't walk down the aisle because they were having a difficult time latching (if they chose to BF) or Baby spit up all over the BM dress directly before the ceremony was about to start.  Just because someone has a baby or is PG isn't a reason to NOT ask them to be in your WP if they're someone you're close to.
    Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker
    OurWildKingdom
  • MairePoppyMairePoppy Connecticut
    Moderator Ninth Anniversary 5000 Comments 500 Love Its
    mod
    Why are posters trying to close their own threads?

                       
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