Invitation Wording- Deceased Parent

knottie6518c53ae452b80f

Hi everyone.  So originally my wedding invitations were going to to be worded as shown below. But now, after a long battle with cancer, my dad has passed away. Initially (before my dad died), my fiancé and I talked it out and decided that we wanted to include/name our parents on the invitations. And I still like the sentiment and want to do it. I’m just not sure how include my dad in way that acknowledges how recently he passed/how much of an influence he had on my life, but as it stands the invitation makes it sound as if he’ll be there and saying “the late” sounds so stuffy. Any advice on what to do?

ILoveBeachMusic

I am so very sorry for your loss. It is very difficult to be going through such a sad time when your are planning a joyous event. However, the people on the invitation are issuing the invitation and a deceased person can't issue an invitation. Your father's name shouldn't be on the invitation. 

I know you want to honor your father on your wedding day and of course acknowledge him. There are subtle ways to do so. A most appropriate way if you are having a religious ceremony is to include him in prayers that are offered. His name can also be in the program, if you are having one, as the father of the bride "the late Mr. Smith". You can carry a small picture of him or remembrance of him in your bouquet. I think I remember reading about one bride who wrapped her Dad's favorite tie around her bouquet stem. You could play his favorite song during the reception, serve a favorite food or drink - you get the idea. You and people close to him would know these things, but people who didn't know him well wouldn't know. The important thing to remember is that your wedding is a joyous event and even though you will naturally be thinking about your Dad and have sad moments, you don't want to intentionally make it a sad event (not that you would do this). These are just some ideas that you could do to honor your Dad on your wedding day. Best wishes to you.

MobKaz

knottie6518c53ae452b80f said:

Hi everyone.  So originally my wedding invitations were going to to be worded as shown below. But now, after a long battle with cancer, my dad has passed away. Initially (before my dad died), my fiancé and I talked it out and decided that we wanted to include/name our parents on the invitations. And I still like the sentiment and want to do it. I’m just not sure how include my dad in way that acknowledges how recently he passed/how much of an influence he had on my life, but as it stands the invitation makes it sound as if he’ll be there and saying “the late” sounds so stuffy. Any advice on what to do?

ILoveBeachMusic said:

I am so very sorry for your loss. It is very difficult to be going through such a sad time when your are planning a joyous event. However, the people on the invitation are issuing the invitation and a deceased person can't issue an invitation. Your father's name shouldn't be on the invitation. 

I know you want to honor your father on your wedding day and of course acknowledge him. There are subtle ways to do so. A most appropriate way if you are having a religious ceremony is to include him in prayers that are offered. His name can also be in the program, if you are having one, as the father of the bride "the late Mr. Smith". You can carry a small picture of him or remembrance of him in your bouquet. I think I remember reading about one bride who wrapped her Dad's favorite tie around her bouquet stem. You could play his favorite song during the reception, serve a favorite food or drink - you get the idea. You and people close to him would know these things, but people who didn't know him well wouldn't know. The important thing to remember is that your wedding is a joyous event and even though you will naturally be thinking about your Dad and have sad moments, you don't want to intentionally make it a sad event (not that you would do this). These are just some ideas that you could do to honor your Dad on your wedding day. Best wishes to you.

The advice and suggestions offered by @ILoveBeachMusic will be the resounding consensus because it is the appropriate thing to do.  You have actually voiced the issues yourself in your post.  The sentiment is sincere but the invitation is not the place on which to share it.

My friend lost her mom shortly before her wedding.  During the reception prior to dinner, a small toast was offered in honor of her mom.  It was during their blessing.  It was brief but poignant, and was along the lines of, "I know we are all thinking of her today.  Let's raise a glass to mom, who we all wish was here.  We know she is with us in spirit."

I'm sorry for your loss.