I’m a transgender man with a part-time job at my university. When I started my job, I was only recently out and had just started testosterone. I emailed my boss and came out to him in simple, straightforward terms; he seemed receptive and said he’d inform my co-workers of my gender. However, for the first four months at my job, none of my co-workers gendered me correctly and sometimes awkwardly called me “they.” I assumed it was because they were conservative and pushed through it. It’s been over eight months now, and I now consistently pass. I recently learned from one of my co-workers that my boss gathered everyone together after I was hired and told everyone that I was nonbinary and used they/them pronouns, which isn’t true—I’d been very clear that I’m a trans man who uses male pronouns. I was furious. I felt so isolated and uncomfortable at my job for so long, and it took me months to get my co-workers to understand I was a man. Should I complain to my boss? Or to his supervisor? I’m one of three LGBT workers, and we’ve all experienced this kind of treatment.
—I’m Not Nonbinary