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Attire and Accessories

Tiara or No?

I am really struggling right now if I want to wear a tiara for my upcoming August wedding and I'm looking for some input...

The backstory:  When I was about 24 years old I was engaged and my grandmother who I was extremely close with and who passed away 2 years ago purchased my dress, veil, shoes and tiara.  That engagement was called off for a variety of reasons and now, a little over 6 years later I am engaged again and only months away from my wedding.  I held onto all of the things she bought for the previous wedding because those things were never about that groom, she bought them out of love for me and it was an experience that the two of us shared.  The dress grandma purchased is far too small now and is being made into a table runner to use on the memorial table.  The shoes have gone missing, I have moved several times since then and I honestly have no idea where they would have gone.  The veil I will be wearing in combination with my mother's veil (we are layering the two together).  But I am torn about wearing the tiara....

A part of me wants to wear it, the youngest of 5 I am the only girl in my family and have always been the princess...plus like I say, it was something grandma purchased for me, it was expensive, it is a beautiful piece...I don't want to see it go to waste.

But I worry...is a tiara something that a young bride wears?  I mean, I am not 24 anymore...I have rounded the corner into my 30s.  My dress is far more elegant and less princess...it is considered a sheath style with a long train. It has elegant lace and beading and it reminiscent of turn of the century (early 1900s) opulence vs the fuller ballgown style usually associated with the princess type look.

What do you ladies think?  As a 30 year old bride is a tiara a bit juvenile? I am hypersensitive to the opinions of others...the last thing I want on my wedding day is to have my guest whispering behind their hands to one another about how silly it is that I am wearing the tiara.  But it also fits who I am...for my 30th birthday party I wore a beautiful tiara (paired with  a dinosaur printed dress...don't get me wrong... I don't take myself too seriously)...and like I said, it is a beautiful memory of a beautiful woman who can't be there with me on this most special day.  I am just so torn...

Re: Tiara or No?

  • Can we see a picture?
  • The first photo is the day I bought the dress.  I look upset... was trying not to cry.  The second is another day when I went to try it on again and had the tiara with me that time.  The necklace I have on is not the one I will be wearing though
  • edited March 3
    You're dress is very pretty. I'm 25 and I had wanted to wear a small tiara for my wedding, but my fiance hated the idea and said he would walk out so needless to say I'm not wearing one. If you like it and your fiance doesn't care I'd say go ahead and wear it. I had picked a dress I thought was more appropriate for my wedding because I cared what everyone thought of me and within hours of picking it I was so sad and started crying because it wasn't the dress I really wanted. I am a girly girl and loves sparkles and I loved this one dress, but it was super sparkly and I was so worried what everyone would think of me so I went with the more appropriate dress. After talking with my fiance, he encouraged me to get what I loved even if other people didn't like it. I ended up picking a different dress. It was not the super sparkly one, but a different one that is also very sparkly and I love even more. 
  • OurWildKingdomOurWildKingdom in the 216 member
    2500 Comments 500 Love Its Third Anniversary 5 Answers
    Your tiara is gorgeous. Very tasteful and goes beautifully with the dress. If you want to wear it, you should, but keep your hairstyle and other jewelry simple so the tiara will stand out.
    downtondivacharlotte989875short+sassy
  • This is really about wearing something a beloved family member gave you. I cannot see how anyone would object to that. People all over the world use family heirlooms and symbolic clothing for special rituals (christening dresses, rings, handkerchiefs, veils, shoes, jewelry, and yes, tiaras). If you want to wear it, do. It looks very good with your dress, but that isn't the most important thing here.
    OurWildKingdomholyguacamole79
  • MobKazMobKaz Chicago suburbs member
    Ninth Anniversary 5000 Comments 500 Love Its 5 Answers
     I would echo the sentiments of the other posters. The neckline of your dress is very beautiful and ornate. I agree wearing the tiara is both sentimental and appropriate.  I do not think you need a necklace in addition to the beautiful neckline and tiara. 
    OurWildKingdomcharlotte989875short+sassy
  • Thank you ladies! I much appreciate the reassurance! I think I will wear it!  In my search to find the right hairstyle I am thinking it might be helpful to look to other adult women who wear tiaras for inspiration...Queen Elizabeth, Princess Di, Kate Middleton perhaps? Like you ladies have pointed out, simple and elegant is likely the key.
  • ILoveBeachMusicILoveBeachMusic Indiana member
    2500 Comments 500 Love Its Fourth Anniversary 5 Answers
    I think it will be beautiful with your dress, and you will be beautiful because you will be happy. Yes, no necklace is necessary and keep the hairstyle simple and elegant. What a lovely way to remember your Grandmother.
    OurWildKingdom
  • MobKazMobKaz Chicago suburbs member
    Ninth Anniversary 5000 Comments 500 Love Its 5 Answers
    Thank you ladies! I much appreciate the reassurance! I think I will wear it!  In my search to find the right hairstyle I am thinking it might be helpful to look to other adult women who wear tiaras for inspiration...Queen Elizabeth, Princess Di, Kate Middleton perhaps? Like you ladies have pointed out, simple and elegant is likely the key.


    Egads!  Apologies for the size!

    OurWildKingdomshort+sassy
  • MobKazMobKaz Chicago suburbs member
    Ninth Anniversary 5000 Comments 500 Love Its 5 Answers
    You're dress is very pretty. I'm 25 and I had wanted to wear a small tiara for my wedding, but my fiance hated the idea and said he would walk out so needless to say I'm not wearing one. If you like it and your fiance doesn't care I'd say go ahead and wear it. I had picked a dress I thought was more appropriate for my wedding because I cared what everyone thought of me and within hours of picking it I was so sad and started crying because it wasn't the dress I really wanted. I am a girly girl and loves sparkles and I loved this one dress, but it was super sparkly and I was so worried what everyone would think of me so I went with the more appropriate dress. After talking with my fiance, he encouraged me to get what I loved even if other people didn't like it. I ended up picking a different dress. It was not the super sparkly one, but a different one that is also very sparkly and I love even more. 
    Huh?  Your fiancé literally told you he would WALK OUT if you chose to wear a tiara?  But then he encouraged you to get what you loved EVEN IF OTHER PEOPLE DIDN'T LIKE IT????

    MyNameIsNotei34sparklepants41
  • @MobKaz she was talking about 2 different fiances. The first was the jerk. The second is the one she's marrying now
  • MobKazMobKaz Chicago suburbs member
    Ninth Anniversary 5000 Comments 500 Love Its 5 Answers
    maine7mob said:
    @MobKaz she was talking about 2 different fiances. The first was the jerk. The second is the one she's marrying now
    I understand.   I was not responding to the OP.  The OP is Knottie #......201.   I was responding to a second/different knottie# …..5b27.  She is a frequent poster who has a difficult time keeping stories straight.

    I really wish we could enforce a policy wherein posters need to create a more distinct screen name :-/
    ei34maine7mob
  • Yes, when I made the post I thought I was logged into my account and expected that it would have my name.  I hate how it is really nondescript and confusing! I wish it would have at least prompted me before finalizing the post
  • I love your dress!! And I think the tiara is lovely. If you feel good in it then that’s what matters!!
  • climbingwifeclimbingwife NYC 'burbs member
    10000 Comments Sixth Anniversary 500 Love Its 5 Answers
    Your dress is gorgeous! Wear the tiara! Do what makes you happy. 

  • ei34ei34 member
    Seventh Anniversary 2500 Comments 500 Love Its 5 Answers
    Go for it!  :)
  • OurWildKingdomOurWildKingdom in the 216 member
    2500 Comments 500 Love Its Third Anniversary 5 Answers
    edited March 4
    OP, it looks like you have some waves in your hair, so I would go with a style similar to the last. Either that or wear your hair down, maybe in a simple braid.

    ETA: I would wear a very simple necklace or skip one entirely. The strand of pearls in your second picture actually looks good with the dress and the tiara,  though. If you wear your hair up, you can wear some simple earrings, but if you wear your hair down, skip the earrings.
  • holyguacamole79holyguacamole79 a taco truck in Houston member
    5000 Comments Fifth Anniversary 500 Love Its 5 Answers
    Tiaras generally aren't my style, but I love the backstory behind yours!  I think the dress is lovely - go for it!!!
  • Definitely wear the tiara!  It's sentimental for you and looks lovely, including with the beautiful dress you have chosen.  I couldn't even imagine anyone side-eyeing it, even if they don't know the history.

    FWIW, I was in my late 30s when I got married and I wore a tiara with my hairstyle.  Though I wore my hair down (personal style).  I also had a veil.

    I associate tiaras with wearing a more formal type of gown, like a wedding dress.  I've never associated it with a particular age range.
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    ei34
  • Wear the Tiara and rock it!!!!
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