Dear Prudence,
I work in a high school. “Alex” and I sometimes socialize together, while “Byron” is friendly and gets on well with everyone but is married and doesn’t socialize much with other teachers. Last week, Alex revealed to me that about four months ago, Byron had asked for a loan of about $5,000 until next payday. Byron never repaid it, and every payday since, Byron has approached Alex and said he doesn’t have the money this month. Alex now feels foolish for lending the money. Two days ago, Alex emailed Byron asking for a repayment schedule. Byron has now promised to start repaying in May, although I strongly suspect this is another excuse.
Byron’s wife has been very ill for the past year or so, and he claimed this is what he needed the money for. Some aspects of his story don’t add up, but nothing can be proven. We live in a country with subsidized public health care. Byron is over 50 and always seemed to be financially comfortable over the few years we have worked together. We are quite well-paid for teachers. I suspect Byron is in debt for reasons he is ashamed of and perhaps his wife doesn’t even know, although I have no proof. In any case, Byron was dishonest when he claimed he would pay the money back next payday. I have two concerns. First, that Byron may ask other teachers for a loan, as no one else knows about this. Second, that Byron is in serious financial trouble and in denial to himself and everyone—loan shark, gambling, or something like that. My options are to keep quiet and let Alex deal with it, quietly warn other teachers I consider vulnerable not to lend money to anyone, or see if Byron is willing to talk about it. I suspect Byron would tell me the same suspicious story he told Alex. Any advice?
—Concerned High School Teacher