Who pays for the bridesmaid "getting ready outfits"? ie: pajamas

knottie5a7e2c1770b33d55

Trying to figure out who typically pays for the matching pajamas and robes the day of the wedding. I don't know if I should buy them or ask my bridesmaids to order them.

ei34

knottie5a7e2c1770b33d55 said:

Trying to figure out who typically pays for the matching pajamas and robes the day of the wedding. I don't know if I should buy them or ask my bridesmaids to order them.

Matching robes/getting ready outfits are incredibly unpopular here.  Most brides don’t even make their BMs wear matching dresses for the ceremony anymore (just assigning a color/length), so mandating a matching getting ready outfit is insane.  But to answer your question, if you require it, you definitely have to pay for it.  (Same goes for if you require they all wear, say, a certain pair of earrings...you pay for them.  And bc it’s part of your vision, it doesn’t count as their BM gift.)  

ILoveBeachMusic

Ditto @eileenrob! Please don't require your wedding party to wear matching pajamas or robes for getting ready! Many people aren't comfortable wearing those kinds of outfits. If you do insist on such an outrageous requirement, you would most definitely have to pay for it.

MesmrEwe

What the PP said!!  Please don't do this to your Best friends in the whole wide world!  No one wants locker room pictures of them getting ready except maybe you.  

banana468

If you really want some kind of coordinated outfit that requires purchasing then that's something you pay for.

But before you do this please know that in addition to the unpopularity, 
-Robes expose a lot of skin, cheap ones are thin, many don't get re-used.
-If you're going to go with some kind of sleepwear, determine if this is something that your BMs are comfortable wearing on an individual basis.   Many people don't want to be photographed or seen in their jammies outside the bedroom.
-These aren't gifts.   They're things that you're asking for as part of your wedding day. 
-In all, these are NOT their outfits for the day.   They're something that the ladies wear in a smock-like effect.   They wearing these items before they put on their BM dresses so the dresses don't get dirty.   They're not a focal point.

FWIW, this trend came after I got married and after a lot of my friends were married.   We just wore button down shirts.   In the winter you can wear flannels / hoodies.   

climbingsingle

If you're going to require your BMs to wear a getting ready outfit, YOU (the bride) need to buy it. And that goes for anything you're requiring, short of the dress and shoes. 

As PPs have mentioned, there are a plethora of reasons why this is not a popular idea. 

InLoveInQueens

Ideally, no one because they're terrible. But if you absolutely are insisting on forcing your bridesmaids to wear matching pjs/robes and basically being in their underwear for pictures no one will ever look at, you buy them. And please, like others have said, don't consider these any part of any gift you're giving them, because it's solely for your pleasure and anything having to do with your wedding and your demands are not gifts.

ShesSoCold

Uhhh, who pays for everything else you want? 

levioosa

No one does. They’re not necessary and your girls will thank you skipping over cheesy getting ready photos that no one will ever look at. If you insist on making them wear specific outfits, you need to pay for them. 

LD1970

My bridesmaids paid for their own getting ready outfits.  Because they wore whatever they came in and I couldn't for the life of me tell you what that was.

MyNameIsNot

If you insist on matching getting ready outfits, you pay. But honestly, it's so, so obnoxious to tell them what to wear before the ceremony. I would really be questioning the sanity of a friend who thought she could tell me what robe or pjs to get ready in. 

Jen4948

If you require that anyone in your wedding party wear or use anything before or during the ceremony or at the reception, the costs are your responsibility.

My personal advice: Ditch the idea of requiring your wedding party to wear anything not of their own choice while "getting ready." 

maine7mob

Don't make your bridesmaids do this! I know it's so common on Instagram, Pinterest, etc. that people think it's required, but it isn't. It's a stupid, very recent trend that needs to die forever.

MobKaz

knottie5a7e2c1770b33d55 said:

Trying to figure out who typically pays for the matching pajamas and robes the day of the wedding. I don't know if I should buy them or ask my bridesmaids to order them.

Why in the world would you need a group of women to wear matching pajamas in order for you to marry?

knottiea80c13881918e885

Idk, I have to disagree with some responses here. While I think you shouldn't be making your BMs pay for any extras that you require for getting ready, I still think gifting them robes is a cute idea, even if you don't require them to wear them. I don't know when matching robes became a terrible idea. Some BMs actually think its cute. Now, of course I am not talking about the corny ones that say Bridesmaid on them, because they won't ever wear them again. One of my BM told a close family member that it would be nice if I got them robes for getting ready (kind of like hinting). I was glad she thought it was a good idea, because I got the robes a while ago lol. It is a nice gesture just to give them the robes with the option of wearing them along with a personal gift for them if your budget allows. But overall you don't need to put as much significance on what they wear while getting ready. 

maine7mob

Upon second reading, I kinda think this is a troll. She has no other posts or replies here.

flantastic

maine7mob said:

Upon second reading, I kinda think this is a troll. She has no other posts or replies here.

Nah. I doubt it. I think just someone who:

• is fairly close to her wedding,
• didn't need any advice before now,
• but wants the robes/pajama look and is balking at the cost of them,
• and now needs to know whether she can pass that cost on to the BMs as part of "what they signed up for."

MobKaz

knottiea80c13881918e885 said:

Idk, I have to disagree with some responses here. While I think you shouldn't be making your BMs pay for any extras that you require for getting ready, I still think gifting them robes is a cute idea, even if you don't require them to wear them. I don't know when matching robes became a terrible idea. Some BMs actually think its cute. Now, of course I am not talking about the corny ones that say Bridesmaid on them, because they won't ever wear them again. One of my BM told a close family member that it would be nice if I got them robes for getting ready (kind of like hinting). I was glad she thought it was a good idea, because I got the robes a while ago lol. It is a nice gesture just to give them the robes with the option of wearing them along with a personal gift for them if your budget allows. But overall you don't need to put as much significance on what they wear while getting ready. 

Gifting something to someone requires two essential elements.  The first is that the gift be specific to the likes of the recipient.  A robe is a lovely gift IF you know the recipient is a robe wearer, and you know exactly the type of length, style, and fabric the recipient enjoys.  The other element is that there is NO string attached to the gift, as in to expect/demand/require them to wear them on a specified date, such as a wedding.  

There are only two types of bridal party robes I have ever seen.  The first is the silk ones that say, "Bridesmaid", and the other is the loud floral pattern.  Both are corny.

Bridesmaids should not pay for any extras required for getting ready for the wedding or the wedding itself.  The dress is an expected expense as long as that expense meets the parameters of a pre-discussed private chat regarding personal budgets.

banana468

knottiea80c13881918e885 said:

Idk, I have to disagree with some responses here. While I think you shouldn't be making your BMs pay for any extras that you require for getting ready, I still think gifting them robes is a cute idea, even if you don't require them to wear them. I don't know when matching robes became a terrible idea. Some BMs actually think its cute. Now, of course I am not talking about the corny ones that say Bridesmaid on them, because they won't ever wear them again. One of my BM told a close family member that it would be nice if I got them robes for getting ready (kind of like hinting). I was glad she thought it was a good idea, because I got the robes a while ago lol. It is a nice gesture just to give them the robes with the option of wearing them along with a personal gift for them if your budget allows. But overall you don't need to put as much significance on what they wear while getting ready. 

The robes can be a gift.  BUT

-No gift comes with strings attached.   If you give a robe as a gift you can't require it to be worn.   Then it's ceased being a gift and it's now a financed portion of wedding day attire that you paid for.  

-If you do gift this, think of your BMs likes and dislikes. 

-You cannot require that they wear these. 

And of all the things I'm not wearing now it's silky robes. 

knottiea80c13881918e885

MobKaz said:

knottiea80c13881918e885 said:

Idk, I have to disagree with some responses here. While I think you shouldn't be making your BMs pay for any extras that you require for getting ready, I still think gifting them robes is a cute idea, even if you don't require them to wear them. I don't know when matching robes became a terrible idea. Some BMs actually think its cute. Now, of course I am not talking about the corny ones that say Bridesmaid on them, because they won't ever wear them again. One of my BM told a close family member that it would be nice if I got them robes for getting ready (kind of like hinting). I was glad she thought it was a good idea, because I got the robes a while ago lol. It is a nice gesture just to give them the robes with the option of wearing them along with a personal gift for them if your budget allows. But overall you don't need to put as much significance on what they wear while getting ready. 

Gifting something to someone requires two essential elements.  The first is that the gift be specific to the likes of the recipient.  A robe is a lovely gift IF you know the recipient is a robe wearer, and you know exactly the type of length, style, and fabric the recipient enjoys.  The other element is that there is NO string attached to the gift, as in to expect/demand/require them to wear them on a specified date, such as a wedding.  

There are only two types of bridal party robes I have ever seen.  The first is the silk ones that say, "Bridesmaid", and the other is the loud floral pattern.  Both are corny.

Bridesmaids should not pay for any extras required for getting ready for the wedding or the wedding itself.  The dress is an expected expense as long as that expense meets the parameters of a pre-discussed private chat regarding personal budgets.

Okay...? Why are you quoting me, I said nothing that disagrees with you. Maybe you meant to reply to the poster. As for the corny robes, if you actually take time and look there is a wide variety of plain silk robes in any color online. 

MobKaz

knottiea80c13881918e885 said:

MobKaz said:

knottiea80c13881918e885 said:

Idk, I have to disagree with some responses here. While I think you shouldn't be making your BMs pay for any extras that you require for getting ready, I still think gifting them robes is a cute idea, even if you don't require them to wear them. I don't know when matching robes became a terrible idea. Some BMs actually think its cute. Now, of course I am not talking about the corny ones that say Bridesmaid on them, because they won't ever wear them again. One of my BM told a close family member that it would be nice if I got them robes for getting ready (kind of like hinting). I was glad she thought it was a good idea, because I got the robes a while ago lol. It is a nice gesture just to give them the robes with the option of wearing them along with a personal gift for them if your budget allows. But overall you don't need to put as much significance on what they wear while getting ready. 

Gifting something to someone requires two essential elements.  The first is that the gift be specific to the likes of the recipient.  A robe is a lovely gift IF you know the recipient is a robe wearer, and you know exactly the type of length, style, and fabric the recipient enjoys.  The other element is that there is NO string attached to the gift, as in to expect/demand/require them to wear them on a specified date, such as a wedding.  

There are only two types of bridal party robes I have ever seen.  The first is the silk ones that say, "Bridesmaid", and the other is the loud floral pattern.  Both are corny.

Bridesmaids should not pay for any extras required for getting ready for the wedding or the wedding itself.  The dress is an expected expense as long as that expense meets the parameters of a pre-discussed private chat regarding personal budgets.

Okay...? Why are you quoting me, I said nothing that disagrees with you. Maybe you meant to reply to the poster. As for the corny robes, if you actually take time and look there is a wide variety of plain silk robes in any color online. 

The OP was asking who should PAY for robes and pajamas.  I am quoting you because YOU brought up the concept of gifting robes as a cute idea.  My comments were in response to the concept of gifts, robes, and wedding parties.  You are clearly in the camp of "Team Robes".   YOU said that you bought your wedding party robes.  You did say that your BM's are all getting robes, and that you purchased them prior to knowing whether or not they wanted them.  You also suggested that it was a "nice gesture" to give robes without expectation of wearing them on the wedding day, but also added that "if budget allowed" a personal gift should be purchased.  

My comments explained that I do not find one universal and identical item to a collection of women to be considered a gift.  

ETA:  I thought you were deleting your account?

MesmrEwe

If you as the bride are going to pay for something, please put that money toward the BM dresses and alterations.  

knottief341b79ce3239134

OP, 

I have been in many weddings where we have worn matching robes. I don't think there is anything wrong with matching robes/pajamas. I am getting my bm's pajamas. They make for cute getting ready pictures, and as a bridesmaid I always thought it was a fun thing to do. I'm not sure why anyone would pitch a fit about what they are wearing while getting ready for someone else's wedding day, especially when they are getting a free robe/pajamas. Not sure why everyone else seems to think it's an abomination haha. It should be your choice, as long as you pay for them and don't consider it as their bridesmaid gift. 

MyNameIsNot

knottief341b79ce3239134 said:

OP, 

I have been in many weddings where we have worn matching robes. I don't think there is anything wrong with matching robes/pajamas. I am getting my bm's pajamas. They make for cute getting ready pictures, and as a bridesmaid I always thought it was a fun thing to do. I'm not sure why anyone would pitch a fit about what they are wearing while getting ready for someone else's wedding day, especially when they are getting a free robe/pajamas. Not sure why everyone else seems to think it's an abomination haha. It should be your choice, as long as you pay for them and don't consider it as their bridesmaid gift. 

I'm sorry your friends made you do that.

It doesn't change the fact that many people are uncomfortable being photographed in pajamas or robes, that there is absolutely no reason for them to match, and that it's controlling.

climbingsingle

I truly would never want to be photographed getting ready in pajamas or a robe. Especially not some cheap ass robe presented to me as a "gift". 

My photographer showed up for getting ready photos. You know what I did with these photos? Nothing. I looked at them for a few minutes, and that was it. It's a waste, and purely driven by Pinterest photos and IG posts. Lame. 

banana468

knottief341b79ce3239134 said:

OP, 

I have been in many weddings where we have worn matching robes. I don't think there is anything wrong with matching robes/pajamas. I am getting my bm's pajamas. They make for cute getting ready pictures, and as a bridesmaid I always thought it was a fun thing to do. I'm not sure why anyone would pitch a fit about what they are wearing while getting ready for someone else's wedding day, especially when they are getting a free robe/pajamas. Not sure why everyone else seems to think it's an abomination haha. It should be your choice, as long as you pay for them and don't consider it as their bridesmaid gift. 

Giving a robe or pajamas can be a wonderful gift.

Once you're required to wear those pajamas or robe the item ceases being a gift.   They're then required attire and many people dislike being photographed in intimate attire and that HAS to be taken into consideration.

Also remember, anything given not of free will and with some kind of string attached is not a present.   It's simply a required expense that you covered - like your employer paying for your work boots. 

knottie03a56d3cf4f2c80c

Wow! Who knew robes were controversial! I have heard of weddings where girls were asked to buy their own robe, but I think that is tacky. Unless it is something everyone would already have in their closet (white tee, flannel, leggings, etc), the cost should be covered by the bride. However, I do think if you get cute pajamas or robes that the girls would genuinely like, then it is certainly part of the gift. And for everyone else on here saying not to do it at all: where the heck do you live!?! Everyone I know has cute coordinating getting ready pics, often robes! Id hope most people know their bridesmaids well enough to know if they’d be uncomfortable and would chose a proper garment to fit all. I’ve been in a wedding where the bride gave us robes but requested we wear black leggings/yogas and cami/tee under. It was sensitive to anyone who wasn’t comfortable showing skin, something everyone has in their closet, and the pics came out great! It’s a really nice compromise. I will be getting robes for my wedding, but i also know my bridesmaids enough to know they are perfectly comfortable showing a little skin in (In fact, they’d think it was lame and frumpy if anyone wore sweats lol). 

banana468

knottie03a56d3cf4f2c80c said:

Wow! Who knew robes were controversial! I have heard of weddings where girls were asked to buy their own robe, but I think that is tacky. Unless it is something everyone would already have in their closet (white tee, flannel, leggings, etc), the cost should be covered by the bride. However, I do think if you get cute pajamas or robes that the girls would genuinely like, then it is certainly part of the gift. And for everyone else on here saying not to do it at all: where the heck do you live!?! Everyone I know has cute coordinating getting ready pics, often robes! Id hope most people know their bridesmaids well enough to know if they’d be uncomfortable and would chose a proper garment to fit all. I’ve been in a wedding where the bride gave us robes but requested we wear black leggings/yogas and cami/tee under. It was sensitive to anyone who wasn’t comfortable showing skin, something everyone has in their closet, and the pics came out great! It’s a really nice compromise. I will be getting robes for my wedding, but i also know my bridesmaids enough to know they are perfectly comfortable showing a little skin in (In fact, they’d think it was lame and frumpy if anyone wore sweats lol). 

Married 13 years Tuesday and I've been in weddings.

Not one has involved coordinated outfits.   I asked the BMs to wear shirts that wouldn't be messed up after we left the hairdresser.  

Does the quality of the photo depend on what the people are wearing? 

Also, I am close to a lot of my friends and that does not mean that I know what they're comfortable being photographed in when I haven't photographed them in it before and probably never will since.  I know most of the same say, "I don't want you to take my picture in that bathing suit" so why on earth would I ask them to wear PJs? 

At this point especially with everything going on, I think this is an element to subtract and not add. 

MairePoppy

Hi Knottie#s - Welcome to The Knot. I'd just like to point out that this an old thread. You can check the date under the screen names and avatars. Threads that have been dead for 6+months are considered zombies. I'm closing the thread. Please feel free to start a new thread on this topic.