Bridesmaids - Some matching, some not

knottie042ac6e6158f6ccf

Hello! I have a bit of a ... well, I guess it's not quite a problem yet but it is something I find myself thinking about. 

I'm getting married in October of 2019 and this month I am focusing on getting all of my bridesmaids dressed. I have five bridesmaids: My MOH (R), my sister (K), two of my friends (P & A), and FSIL as a junior bridesmaid (M, 14yo). P and A both live far from me, so we are trying to keep them in the loop as much as possible through Google suites. 

Anyways, we decided on getting the dresses at David's Bridal and going with the "same color, different style" look. Except A told me that she would prefer to wear a suit and try to match color with us, which I am okay with. So off we went to David's to look at bridesmaid dresses with R, K, and M, as well as FMIL. We settled on three dresses in Steel Blue color for all of them and put in the orders. They are all from the David's designers, and are different top styles with the same skirt style - nice! I updated P & A later that evening on what we picked out. 

In our phone call, P told me she would rather rent a dress if possible and asked me to look into if you can rent David's (I doubt it but I'll ask anyways), but otherwise to show her what the dresses look like and she will go dress shopping this month. Her budget is <$100 (the dresses the others got are $150, but there was a sale that day). I was okay with it at first, but I think I would prefer her to wear David's as well. I told her I would keep an eye out for sales (they flood my inbox all the time) and I am willing to chip in to help her out if needed. Admittedly I may have been a little short-sighted about dress shopping since now I'm reading that I should have asked my bridesmaids about their budget first. Oops... 

I am mainly wondering if it looks strange if three of my bridesmaids are very matching but two of them are not? FMIL kept talking about making about how to make them uniform (style, hair, shoes, etc.). 

TL,DR: Have 5 bridesmaids, got dresses in same fabric/designer for 3 of them. 1 wants to wear a suit (OK), 1 wants to rent and will probably not have the same dress as the other three. Will it look weird with 3 bridesmaids being very matched and 2 are different? FMIL is kind of pushing the matching thing.

redwoodoriginal

Ignore FMIL. Let them wear whatever they want. It won’t look weird bc no one pays attention to what they’re wearing unless you make them wear a hideous dress. 

downtondiva

I don't think it'll look weird. It's not up to FMIL so don't worry what she thinks.

MairePoppy

This has nothing to do with your FMIL. Please don't ask your bm to match their hair, shoes and accessories. That's weird. 

Ask your bm if she'd prefer to rent a dress or split the cost of the David's dress with you to keep her within her budget. It will look fine either way.

MesmrEwe

Go on David's website, click on "Sale", click on the color, click on "Final Sale"...  They've got some $19 dollar dresses there!  Jump quick because the size she needs will be gone quickly.  But really - that sale link is the way to go because you'll keep the theme and color while staying in the budget...  

Leave FMIL out of it, keep your BM budget "in", but realize that David's has options that are lower than $150 or even $100 as long as you're flexible.  If you're going to let them pick out the dresses in a matching color, give them the detail, help them keep it in their budget, and step away and let them figure out how to be adults picking out their attire.  Do not stress out about it, that's why you've picked out a color and given them the "go to town!"...

knottie042ac6e6158f6ccf

OP here:

Thanks for the input, everyone! I had a talk with my sister about it and you know what, I'm just overthinking it. I think FMIL is just a bit too excited about planning the wedding and just wants to be involved, but in the end it's my wedding. I think I just have a tendency to be self-conscious about what family members think due to how I grew up. In the end, what matters is that I have my friends with me and we have a good time, not what we're wearing, and nobody's really going to notice.

Anyways, my BM's plan is to rent a dress and she has asked me about the others' dress details so that she can coordinate. In the meantime, we'll keep our eyes peeled for sales and secondhand options as a backup.

Casadena

Definitely check ebay and poshmark or other sites like that.  I see tons of bridesmaids dresses there all the time for much cheaper than retail!

ei34

Sounds like a good plan OP, good luck!

MobKaz

How awesome you are remembering that these are friends and family first and foremost!

I am not sure how easy it will be for A to find a steel blue suit.  What if A and P found a black suit/dress and accented them with something steel blue?  If they are all having flowers, you could even coordinate them all via their bouquets.  

My daughter tried to do something similar as you.  She asked the BM's to get a black dress, and preferably in the same fabric.  All but one BM found a dress of their liking at David's Bridal.  All dresses were $100.  One BM was "not feeling it" that day, and did not want to commit.  She said she would go back on her own when she felt more "in the mood".  Long story short......that BM had no intention of getting a dress at DB, or wanting a dress in that same fabric.  Her dress was a very different fabric from the other girls.  IF anyone noticed, no one commented.  Why would they?  From my POV, nothing screams "different" in the pictures.  It truly was a non-issue in the end.  Your perspective regarding the end game is the best and right one to have!

maine7mob

We ordered the wrong color sash for our D's jr BM and it kind of clashed with the dresses the BMs wore, but it was absolutely fine. The pics looked great anyway.

It really doesn't matter at all.