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New York-Long Island

Toddlers at the reception

Hey everyone.  Just curious to hear everyone's opinions.  I'm unsure what I'm going to do. My future sister inlaws and myself all had babies around the same time. My daughter is the oldest and will be 20 months old for my wedding,  she will be my flower girl.  The others will be 14 and 10 months. My cousin's baby will be 20 months,  and my best friend's baby will be 10 months.  

I know typically people don't have infants and toddlers at their weddings.  I was thinking maybe to ask them to not bring them to the church but the reception is ok?  My mother is insisting it would be hectic with so many kids running/ crawling around.  I'm having an afternoon wedding,  11-5 church and reception.  

For those that wouldn't invite the children,  how do I say something to them,  or word it on the invitation?  I'm sure my inlaws are expecting to bring their kids since my daughter will be there.  

Re: Toddlers at the reception

  • short+sassyshort+sassy member
    5000 Comments Sixth Anniversary 500 Love Its First Answer
    edited April 4
    It's rude to invite someone, even infants/toddlers, to the reception but not the ceremony and vice versa.

    Also, you can't split up families.  So, if a friend has a toddler and a 9-year-old, you can't invite the 9-year-old and not the toddler.

    With that said, it's perfectly fine to not invite children at all.  Or invite children in "circles".  Like, children of your immediate family are invited, but not others (as an example of a "circle").  It's also fine if it just your own child you want at the wedding.  It's crazy to me that someone would assume because the BRIDE'S child is going to be there it's okay for everyone's child, but I know people aren't always logical.  KIM, it's possible some guests may have to decline if they can't bring their child(ren).

    The invitation should ONLY include who is invited.  Not who isn't invited, including no statements like "adults only".  When people call to RSVP, if they mention bringing Junior you can respond something like, "I'm so sorry, but the invite is only for yourself and SO." 

    Edited to add:  I just noticed some of the children you are talking about are your FI's nieces/nephews.  Is he on board with not inviting them?  If he isn't, then they need to be invited.  At least that is not a hill that I would want to die on with a FI, over immediate family on the guest list.
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