Wedding Party

Including nieces

I am trying to decide how to include all 6 nieces in our wedding. We have one matron of honor and 3 bridesmaids with one best man and 3 groomsmen. The 6 nieces will be 3, 6, 6, 7, 9 and 11. We have no nephews or close friends or family with a little boy so there will be no ring bear. We are thinking to have the 3yo as the flower girl. I feel that 5 jr bridesmaids is too much when there's 3 BMs and 1 MH. If we did do 5 jr bridesmaids, I would probably have them stand on both sides.

Re: Including nieces

  • flantasticflantastic The Midwest member
    Sixth Anniversary 2500 Comments 500 Love Its 5 Answers
    I am trying to decide how to include all 6 nieces in our wedding. We have one matron of honor and 3 bridesmaids with one best man and 3 groomsmen. The 6 nieces will be 3, 6, 6, 7, 9 and 11. We have no nephews or close friends or family with a little boy so there will be no ring bear. We are thinking to have the 3yo as the flower girl. I feel that 5 jr bridesmaids is too much when there's 3 BMs and 1 MH. If we did do 5 jr bridesmaids, I would probably have them stand on both sides.

    Are you super close to all the nieces? That's a starting point.

    Not everyone needs to be in the wedding party. Being invited is honor enough.

    Some kids are excited to be in the wedding, and some (usually 11 is pushing in this department) are a little insulted that they need a "junior" title, as if someone had to point out that they're younger.

    If you want them up there with you, give them a thrill and just call them bridesmaids, because they're doing everything that's required of a bridesmaid. Of course they won't be coming to any adult-oriented bachelorette parties or anything, but BMs aren't required to do that stuff anyway.

    If you don't want them up there with you, don't. Dance with them at the reception. They'll be happy either way.
  • flantasticflantastic The Midwest member
    Sixth Anniversary 2500 Comments 500 Love Its 5 Answers
    I am trying to decide how to include all 6 nieces in our wedding. We have one matron of honor and 3 bridesmaids with one best man and 3 groomsmen. The 6 nieces will be 3, 6, 6, 7, 9 and 11. We have no nephews or close friends or family with a little boy so there will be no ring bear. We are thinking to have the 3yo as the flower girl. I feel that 5 jr bridesmaids is too much when there's 3 BMs and 1 MH. If we did do 5 jr bridesmaids, I would probably have them stand on both sides.

    Are you super close to all the nieces? That's a starting point.

    Not everyone needs to be in the wedding party. Being invited is honor enough.

    Some kids are excited to be in the wedding, and some (usually 11 is pushing in this department) are a little insulted that they need a "junior" title, as if someone had to point out that they're younger.

    If you want them up there with you, give them a thrill and just call them bridesmaids, because they're doing everything that's required of a bridesmaid. Of course they won't be coming to any adult-oriented bachelorette parties or anything, but BMs aren't required to do that stuff anyway.

    If you don't want them up there with you, don't. Dance with them at the reception. They'll be happy either way.
    Quoting myself LOL

    You'll be very British royal family if you do this - typically their BMs are kids.
    geebee908ILoveBeachMusicshort+sassy
  • I'd want to see a ring bear, ala How I Met Your Mother.
    redwoodoriginalsparklepants41MissKittyDanger
  • You are already including your nieces by inviting them to the wedding.  I see nothing wrong with calling them bridesmaids and having them stand up there with you like @flantastic said, but I also think that this will be a really happy and memorable occasion for them even without that. 
    image
  • ILoveBeachMusicILoveBeachMusic Indiana member
    2500 Comments Fifth Anniversary 500 Love Its 5 Answers
    I can understand how you want your nieces in your wedding. I agree the older one or two could be bridesmaids like flantastic said. You could have the younger ones as flower girls - I have seen many weddings with more than one flower girl. I hope you aren't being pressured into having all of them in the wedding (I know of such an instance) because you don't have to include them all.
  • MobKazMobKaz Chicago suburbs member
    Tenth Anniversary 5000 Comments 500 Love Its 5 Answers
    I can understand how you want your nieces in your wedding. I agree the older one or two could be bridesmaids like flantastic said. You could have the younger ones as flower girls - I have seen many weddings with more than one flower girl. I hope you aren't being pressured into having all of them in the wedding (I know of such an instance) because you don't have to include them all.
    Agree with the sentiment that you are hopefully not being pressured to include them all.  
    There is NO reason one or two of the girls can’t carry the rings.  The two six year old girls could fulfill that role.  The three year old could be the flower girl.  The eldest three could be bridesmaids.

    If that is too much, then just have the 3 year old OR the two 6 year olds fulfill the role of flower girl.  The 3 year old may not comprehend being “passed over” and the 6 year olds would comprehend the “honor”.  Have all the others be honored guests.

    Another concern to bear in mind is the cost of outfitting all these young ladies.  How many parents are involved with these girls?  Would there be a significant cost burden to one family if many of these girls need to be outfitted?  Also keep in mind your additional costs as the families of all these girls will need to be invited to the rehearsal dinner.
    downtondivashort+sassysparklepants41ILoveBeachMusic
  • Do they all need to be involved?   Or could they all wear a pretty dress and you give them a flower crown and call them all "flower girls"?  Keep in mind that by being in the wedding that means more expenses for you at the RD, flowers, WP gifts, etc.   But I've seen several weddings that just have the kids dressed up and they look cute and it's fine. 
  • I'm sure it was a typo, but I am cracking myself up envisioning a bear walking down the aisle holding a ring.

    FWIW, if you are close to all the nieces, include them all, or just have them as guests. A lot of kids enjoy being asked to an adult party, especially where there are other kids to get a little wild with. I'm a huge fan of kids at weddings, though not necessarily in weddings.
  • maine7mob said:
    I'm sure it was a typo, but I am cracking myself up envisioning a bear walking down the aisle holding a ring.

    FWIW, if you are close to all the nieces, include them all, or just have them as guests. A lot of kids enjoy being asked to an adult party, especially where there are other kids to get a little wild with. I'm a huge fan of kids at weddings, though not necessarily in weddings.
    Not a typo 
    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TUlzijWq2cM 
  • From a parent's perspective...  This can get expensive in a hurry.  Also, shopping can also become a nightmare in a hurry for the sizes involved especially with the 9 & 11yo.  IMO, talk to the parents on their perspectives.  Sides do not need to be even, so that's not an issue, what will be an issue is all things budget especially if the nieces are siblings.  Also, consider a seasonal fancy dress from a place like JCP, Kohl's, Macy's, etc. that will be more affordable than going to a place like David's or a bridal shop for their attire.  Let them choose their own shoes.  
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    ILoveBeachMusic
  • MesmrEwe said:
    From a parent's perspective...  This can get expensive in a hurry.  Also, shopping can also become a nightmare in a hurry for the sizes involved especially with the 9 & 11yo.  IMO, talk to the parents on their perspectives.  Sides do not need to be even, so that's not an issue, what will be an issue is all things budget especially if the nieces are siblings.  Also, consider a seasonal fancy dress from a place like JCP, Kohl's, Macy's, etc. that will be more affordable than going to a place like David's or a bridal shop for their attire.  Let them choose their own shoes.  
    Also a great point.   When this has worked in families and the bride is in the "They can all be!" viewpoint (Chiquita was invited to this once) the deal was, to show up in a pretty dress and you get a crown.   One of the older cousins/aunties would wrangle the girls as they walked down the aisle and that was the extent of their involvement.

    In all of this, I think it's SUPER important that if you want to involve the girls, you have to talk to their parents first. 
    MesmrEwe
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