Items over money is a fair compromise.

mrsconn23

Dear Prudence,

I was raised in a very religious household, and while my parents are liberal in some respects, they are both very anti-choice, a position I adamantly disagree with. However, in her retirement, my mom has chosen to spend 20-plus hours a week volunteering for a charity that provides real support to young single mothers—food, clothing, baby supplies, parenting classes, medical visits—and has even learned Spanish so she can better communicate with the women she serves. However, the charity she works for is affiliated with a major anti-choice group. She’s always asking for my support and donations for her cause, and I’m torn. Everyone who is anti-choice should be doing what she’s doing, right? But I don’t know if I can ethically contribute to a group that is telling women that their only option when pregnant is to have the baby and it’s wrong to make a different decision. I’ve given baby clothes and books, but I just don’t know.

—Supporting Something I Agree With but Also Don’t

missJeanLouise

I think those are nice donations but I just wouldn't. Mom can support her things, LW can support theirs, they don't have to support each other's.

climbingsingle

There's no way I'd be able to offer any kind of support to an anti-choice organization. It's great that her mother volunteers, but it doesn't mean she needs to donate money to it. 

kerbohl

I agree - giving items is a great idea.  If you don't feel comfortable giving a money to a charity, there is no reason to give money, even if someone close to you has a passion for it.  Lots of other charities to give to!

charlotte989875

I’d say “Mom I’m glad you’re enjoying this work but I don’t agree with the affiliations of the organization and can’t support it. ” 

Then change the subject. I wouldn’t be able to support it. 

short+sassy

If the LW is so inclined, I think she should donate her items and/or money to a charity that also helps single mothers...but without the anti-choice aspect to their agenda.  Then tell her mom, "Sorry, Mom. I know how close to your heart ABC Organization is.  But JKL Organization also helps single mothers and is the charity I prefer."  She could also throw in why she prefers JKL, if she wants.  Then rinse and repeat.

The main help for the LW is for them to find a good phrase to use every time their mother bugs them about donating and just rinse and repeat it.  I also don't think they would be out of line to say something like, "Mom, no!  I don't agree with an important part of your charity's mission and I have told you that repeatedly.  I will never donate to this charity.  Stop asking me."

MissKittyDanger

Agreed with above. If you wanna donate items, great. If you don't feel comfortable donating money, don't.

Interesting what LW is saying though .... being anti-choice but doing what their mom does an helping out. Almost like saying 'if you're gonna force the woman to have the baby, at least provide a service to help them'

STARMOON44

There are plenty of charities that help young single mothers without engaging in fraud to try and keep them from getting abortions. 

Providing baby clothes in no way excuses trying to force women to bear children children against their will. The entire concept is offensive. 

banana468

If LW's mom is pro life and LW is not then LW  needs to use her words: "Mom I appreciate that you contribute to a cause that means a lot to you but this is not an organization that I choose to support." 

It's a divisive issue on which LW and her mom may need to agree to disagree.  

MesmrEwe

If they're providing "real support", then the donation of things like size 5 diapers (for older babies) or pull-ups or the like is plenty without giving money to a cause s/he doesn't agree with.  LW agrees with the real support aspects, support those, not monetary donations to the parent organization which may fund things s/he's NOT supportive of.