When my wife and I first got together over four years ago, one of the things that we bonded over was our mutual enjoyment of pot. We were daily smokers, and I always thought of this shared interest as being a foundational part of our relationship. She began having some mental health issues and decided to stop smoking altogether. I had no interest in stopping, so I continued, but would just do it in the backyard at the end of the day. She was fine with this. When we started talking about having kids, she told me she did not think that pot had a place in the parenting of young children and that she would like me to cut back significantly when we became parents. Her ideal was none at all, but she agreed that it could be more like drinking alcohol—occasionally, not to excess, and not around the kids when they’re very small.
Now my wife is pregnant, and she wants me to quit smoking pot yesterday. She constantly brings up that I agreed to stop smoking when we became parents and that I’d better start cutting back now that she’s pregnant so that I won’t have to go cold turkey once the baby is born. I still don’t want to quit. It enriches my life, it makes me more even-keeled and laid-back (I used to be quite anxious and prone to anger before I started smoking), and I don’t see how these qualities could be bad for raising a child. I wouldn’t ever smoke around the kid, but she’s acting like taking pot every day is equivalent to parenting as an active alcoholic. I just don’t see it this way. Can I parent while also smoking pot?