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Wedding Woes

A very Mondayish Monday

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Re: A very Mondayish Monday

  • @charlotte989875 ; we have a physical calendar. I'm an introvert also, but after the shitty winter of feeling like I'm trapped because of the cold/snow/baby it just is hard.
    He wants to do more as a family {his words} and yet he pulls this. Most of my mom friends don't live close, so I can't really do that and I have planned on going out with a friend after work soon.

    I considered going but we still had to get her swim diaper from MIL and sFIL's place {it was gonna be a stop en route to splash pad} I did ask my mum if she wanted to come over, but she buses and paying isn't always easiest because of our stupid transit system ....

    @kvruns ; If I drove, I would have 100% taken her without him. {note: I've got my last in-car lesson coming soon! So almost!!}
    I wonder if he woke up in a mood also and just doesn't know how to deal with it.
    charlotte989875kvrunsei34
  • @charlotte989875 ; we have a physical calendar. I'm an introvert also, but after the shitty winter of feeling like I'm trapped because of the cold/snow/baby it just is hard.
    He wants to do more as a family {his words} and yet he pulls this. Most of my mom friends don't live close, so I can't really do that and I have planned on going out with a friend after work soon.

    I considered going but we still had to get her swim diaper from MIL and sFIL's place {it was gonna be a stop en route to splash pad} I did ask my mum if she wanted to come over, but she buses and paying isn't always easiest because of our stupid transit system ....

    @kvruns ; If I drove, I would have 100% taken her without him. {note: I've got my last in-car lesson coming soon! So almost!!}
    I wonder if he woke up in a mood also and just doesn't know how to deal with it.
    Well I’d be even more pissed knowing that you don’t drive that he did this. I get not wanting to do things occasionally but if he says he wants to do things as a family, he knows you’re not driving, and that you spent a lot of last summer inside then yah I’d be super pissed. 

    Maybe he was grumpy, maybe he just didn’t want to do it, but whatever I feel like when you say you’re going to do things, or you want to do more of these activities, you actually have to follow through on that. 

    It’s got to be really tough feeling like you’re trapped indoors, then making plans to finally get out, and have this happen. I’d be super pissed 
  • @STARMOON44 ; in theory, yes I could drop that but it's part of a whole money situation we're trying to figure out - which is what was more on the 'to do' list than contacts.
    We actually don't yell often tbh .... we both grew up with parents who would argue {his parents are split} and we've both tried to keep it from getting to yelling point, but this was legit just cracking point

    @charlotte989875 if he had said "oh I just don't wanna go out tomorrow" the day before, I would have picked up BabyKitten's swim diaper from IL's place while coming home from groceries and gone alone - it's more the last minute change that pissed me off.


    For reference, things are definitely more chill today and later in the day yesterday - I'm not as mad, but still mad. You know?

    I think I'm gonna try a civilized conversation tomorrow about it .... avoid the cracking point again. {I would tonight but I have a headache and don't particularly want to talk to anyone lol}
  • @charlotte989875 ; we have a physical calendar. I'm an introvert also, but after the shitty winter of feeling like I'm trapped because of the cold/snow/baby it just is hard.
    He wants to do more as a family {his words} and yet he pulls this. Most of my mom friends don't live close, so I can't really do that and I have planned on going out with a friend after work soon.

    I considered going but we still had to get her swim diaper from MIL and sFIL's place {it was gonna be a stop en route to splash pad} I did ask my mum if she wanted to come over, but she buses and paying isn't always easiest because of our stupid transit system ....

    @kvruns ; If I drove, I would have 100% taken her without him. {note: I've got my last in-car lesson coming soon! So almost!!}
    I wonder if he woke up in a mood also and just doesn't know how to deal with it.
    Congrats on that!  Even if you all stay a one-car family, I'm sure that would give you a lot more flexibility and freedom.

    I wish I knew what to tell you, lol.  Because I have some of the same struggles with my H.  And that's even with having no children/babies, which I know makes it a lot easier.  He doesn't work a typical job, so his schedule is very flexible.  But that has morphed into he sometimes has weird sleep habits that throw a wrench in my schedule.  I was just being annoyed by it again this weekend.

    On Sat., we had made plans to go grocery shopping and then Home Depot to pick up an online cabinet order I had placed.  But he needed to relax first because he'd been out in the sun for a few hours.  After a couple hours of that, I assume we're ready to go.  But now he needs to go "lie down for a bit".  At 2PM.  Okkaayyyy.  I know he'd been doing physical labor earlier in the week and has a lot more of that coming up this week.  So I'm trying to be patient and I don't want to wake him.  But then, the next thing I know, it's 6PM before we start doing the errands I'd expected to be doing hours earlier.  In fact, I told him that now I wasn't up for going to Home Depot and we only had time for the grocery store.  I told him I'd meet him over at the duplexes when I got off on Mon. and we'd head to Home Depot then.  But, fortunately, a friend with a truck gave him a ride earlier today.  Oh!  Because my H doesn't have HIS driver's license*.

    So I also know it from the other side of often getting roped into errands that I normally wouldn't need to do, because I'm the only one who drives.

    *Which all stems from complete and utter stupidity, years ago.  He never bothered renewing his Oregon driver's license when he first moved to Louisiana.  Until the OR one expired.  Except now it was too late because there was some issue where OR doesn't reciprocate driving records or Louisiana doesn't accept driving records from other states, once a license has expired.  Something like that.  So he's never bothered because, for the most part, he hasn't especially needed one.  But it's become a lot more problematic over the last year and I've been putting the thumb screws on to just get it done.  Even though it does require a Sat. driving class and then taking the written and driver's test.
    Wedding Countdown Ticker
  • MyNameIsNotMyNameIsNot Atlanta member
    Ninth Anniversary 5000 Comments 500 Love Its First Answer
    @ MKD, My H and I have some of the same struggles with lists and getting things done. He is a terrible procrastinator and forgets. I finally had to learn that if I want something done on my timeline, I need to do it myself. And then things that are his problem (like contacts), to let him forget and deal with it. If he doesn't order in time and has to wear his glasses for a week, that's not really my problem. Sure, there's still stuff that we need to do together and we'll schedule it, but learning to let some things go has really helped me out a lot. Plus, it adds a comic relief when he has to wear swimming trunks because he procrastinated laundry for too long. 

    And now I realize I'm making him sound like a man-child. He's really not. He just isn't as structured and organized as I am. 

    Good for learning to drive! Having the independence to go out and do things by yourself should really help. Do you have the option to uber/lyft until then? I don't know how that would work with a babyseat, though. 
    charlotte989875STARMOON44
  • kvrunskvruns member
    2500 Comments Fifth Anniversary 500 Love Its First Answer
    I’m laughing at the swim trunks imagery. Especially if they are a bright pattern 
    charlotte989875ei34
  • Jen4948Jen4948 Houston member
    10000 Comments Seventh Anniversary 500 Love Its 25 Answers

    Unfortunately yesterday we found out our friend's 21 year old daughter was killed by a drunk driver early that morning. My H has been close with this family for most of his life. It's completely heartbreaking. 
    How tragic. I'm very sorry.
  • Jen4948Jen4948 Houston member
    10000 Comments Seventh Anniversary 500 Love Its 25 Answers
    edited July 9
    Sending healing vibes to @OliveOilsMom's mom and @mrsconn23.  

    One more week until payday. Meanwhile life plods along.

    I am waiting for my computer to be fixed. It's a Dell that can only be opened by a "Dell Certified Technician" while it's still under warranty. None of the "Dell Certified Technicians" in Houston are open on the weekends so my dad was kind enough to take it to one for me during the week before last. And instead of working on it, they sent it to Dell for repairs. No guarantee that it will get back to me any time soon. I'm typing this on an old computer that I stopped using regularly when it kept hanging up. Sigh.

    At least the 4th was nice. Very hot, but the fireworks in Hermann Park in Houston were beautiful.
    short+sassyOliveOilsMomei34
  • @climbingwife my heart goes out to you and the family. That’s just horrible.

    @levioosa that kitten is so cute!! We have a horrible feral cat problem here too. It is getting better thanks to TNR but the worst is when people leave the country and just dump their domesticated cats. It is so sad.

    @MissKittyDanger can you buy some sprinklers to use in the backyard? Hose water can be cold too and maybe she would have more fun if there weren’t so many people around. 


    I am a person who has a lot to do (apparently. I don’t feel like it but DH does), it seems there is always something. I don’t even necessarily want to do anything but something has to get done, lol. I know it wears DH out because he needs more rest than anyone I have ever met. So he will typically ask what is planned for the weekend/ what I want to get done, then after I tell him he will say “then I can take a nap/break.” ☺️ And if I forgot something he says “now, now, now, that wasn’t on the list”. It is cute because it goes down like that almost every weekend, lol. Sometimes he wants me to make a physical list  so he can pick/choose what gets done next. It isn’t perfect and we don’t always accomplish everything but it works (mostly) for us.

    I should be doing the dishes instead of knotting right now. DS is napping and we are going for a play date when he wakes up. 
    charlotte989875kvrunsOurWildKingdomOliveOilsMom
  • @ MKD, My H and I have some of the same struggles with lists and getting things done. He is a terrible procrastinator and forgets. I finally had to learn that if I want something done on my timeline, I need to do it myself. And then things that are his problem (like contacts), to let him forget and deal with it. If he doesn't order in time and has to wear his glasses for a week, that's not really my problem. Sure, there's still stuff that we need to do together and we'll schedule it, but learning to let some things go has really helped me out a lot. Plus, it adds a comic relief when he has to wear swimming trunks because he procrastinated laundry for too long. 

    And now I realize I'm making him sound like a man-child. He's really not. He just isn't as structured and organized as I am. 

    Good for learning to drive! Having the independence to go out and do things by yourself should really help. Do you have the option to uber/lyft until then? I don't know how that would work with a babyseat, though. 
    BOLDED IS M TO A T!!!

    I've done some research about it, and M does have ADHD {had as a child and still has it as an adult - the hyper focus portion is why he's good at his job} and not that I'm making excuses, but that's part of his problem. Procrastination is a huge portion of ADHD but guh .... dude!
    MyNameIsNot
  • CharmedPamCharmedPam Chicagoburbs member
    2500 Comments 500 Love Its Fourth Anniversary First Answer
    @ MKD, My H and I have some of the same struggles with lists and getting things done. He is a terrible procrastinator and forgets. I finally had to learn that if I want something done on my timeline, I need to do it myself. And then things that are his problem (like contacts), to let him forget and deal with it. If he doesn't order in time and has to wear his glasses for a week, that's not really my problem. Sure, there's still stuff that we need to do together and we'll schedule it, but learning to let some things go has really helped me out a lot. Plus, it adds a comic relief when he has to wear swimming trunks because he procrastinated laundry for too long. 

    And now I realize I'm making him sound like a man-child. He's really not. He just isn't as structured and organized as I am. 

    Good for learning to drive! Having the independence to go out and do things by yourself should really help. Do you have the option to uber/lyft until then? I don't know how that would work with a babyseat, though. 
    BOLDED IS M TO A T!!!

    I've done some research about it, and M does have ADHD {had as a child and still has it as an adult - the hyper focus portion is why he's good at his job} and not that I'm making excuses, but that's part of his problem. Procrastination is a huge portion of ADHD but guh .... dude!
    Now I’m wondering if my H has that.....

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