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Mental Breakdown

Today has been a day from hell. Our wedding is 6 days away and my flower girls' mother messages me that their dresses can't be altered and they are about 3 sizes too big, my mom hates her dress and my sister/bridesmaid hates her dress as well. I have no clue what to do. I purchased new dresses for the flower girls on Amazon so that problem is solved, but I don't know how to help my mom or sister. My mom thinks she looks like a linebacker and my sister is embarrassed to be seen in her dress. I found the dress my mom originally picked, but returned for sale on Poshmark since it is no longer available on Amazon, but she refuses to let me buy it for her because she claims there isn't enough time to hem it. I don't sew or I would hem it for her. I found a few dresses on Poshmark for my sister as well, but she doesn't like any of them. I don't know what to do.

Re: Mental Breakdown

  • MobKazMobKaz Chicago suburbs member
    Ninth Anniversary 5000 Comments 500 Love Its 5 Answers
    edited July 14
    Today has been a day from hell. Our wedding is 6 days away and my flower girls' mother messages me that their dresses can't be altered and they are about 3 sizes too big, my mom hates her dress and my sister/bridesmaid hates her dress as well. I have no clue what to do. I purchased new dresses for the flower girls on Amazon so that problem is solved, but I don't know how to help my mom or sister. My mom thinks she looks like a linebacker and my sister is embarrassed to be seen in her dress. I found the dress my mom originally picked, but returned for sale on Poshmark since it is no longer available on Amazon, but she refuses to let me buy it for her because she claims there isn't enough time to hem it. I don't sew or I would hem it for her. I found a few dresses on Poshmark for my sister as well, but she doesn't like any of them. I don't know what to do.
    You’re joking, right?  With all the other “lessons”, red flags, and recommendations known and given to you, you come with this?  YOU get married.  THEY figure out their own wardrobe.  
    The good folks in Louisiana are having a day, or two, or more, from hell.  You are having a “own worst enemy” kind of day.  

    ETA.....don’t get sucked in @climbingwife LOL
    OurWildKingdomei34short+sassy
  • OurWildKingdomOurWildKingdom in the 216 member
    2500 Comments 500 Love Its Third Anniversary 5 Answers
    Your situation is fixable. You’re taking steps to fix it. Now stop trying to control everything.
  • MesmrEweMesmrEwe member
    Knottie Warrior 2500 Comments 500 Love Its First Answer
    They sell iron-on hem tape at Walmart...  The FG can get a dress from anywhere, and the BM can go buy something they like and just wear that.  Go have a cupcake...  As long as they show up on time and not naked, and even if they do, you'll still be getting married...
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    OurWildKingdomMobKaz
  • climbingwifeclimbingwife NYC 'burbs member
    10000 Comments Fifth Anniversary 500 Love Its 5 Answers
    @MobKaz I seriously just LOL'ed out loud..hahaha! 

    Tell your sister and mother to go to a department store and find dresses. Good lord. 

    MobKazOurWildKingdomMesmrEwe
  • MobKazMobKaz Chicago suburbs member
    Ninth Anniversary 5000 Comments 500 Love Its 5 Answers
    @MobKaz I seriously just LOL'ed out loud..hahaha! 

    Tell your sister and mother to go to a department store and find dresses. Good lord. 
    Maybe we should send jokes to OP.  If she isn’t heeding the margarita and cupcake advice, maybe we can use laughter to get her through all these “crisis”.
    MesmrEwe
  • CasadenaCasadena member
    500 Love Its 500 Comments Fourth Anniversary Name Dropper
    None of these things are your problem. 
  • ei34ei34 member
    Seventh Anniversary 2500 Comments 500 Love Its 5 Answers
    Not your problem.  Tell your mom and sister to wear whatever they'd like to your wedding.  Forget Poshmark, just whatever they like in their closet, at a dept store, etc..
    OurWildKingdomdowntondivaMesmrEwe
  • edited July 17
    I asked my sister to find any dress in silver, black or red since those were our colors, but she didn't want to be in a different color than the rest of the bridesmaids so I told her I would buy her a new dress from David's Bridal if she could find one online she liked that a store near me might have in stock. She found several on David's Bridal that she liked so I contacted a few of the David's Bridals near me and the one had a dress in her size that she liked so I went and bought it. I had it sent overnight via FedEx to her house. Our seamstress said she could have it hemmed by Friday afternoon. As for my mom, she can figure that out on her own. I called a place for her to see about hemming because she said no place could hem a dress on time and they can hem it same day so all she has to do is pick a dress. 
    OurWildKingdom
  • MobKazMobKaz Chicago suburbs member
    Ninth Anniversary 5000 Comments 500 Love Its 5 Answers
    I asked my sister to find any dress in silver, black or red since those were our colors, but she didn't want to be in a different color than the rest of the bridesmaids so I told her I would buy her a new dress from David's Bridal if she could find one online she liked that a store near me might have in stock. She found several on David's Bridal that she liked so I contacted a few of the David's Bridals near me and the one had a dress in her size that she liked so I went and bought it. I had it sent overnight via FedEx to her house. Our seamstress said she could have it hemmed by Friday afternoon. As for my mom, she can figure that out on her own. I called a place for her to see about hemming because she said no place could hem a dress on time and they can hem it same day so all she has to do is pick a dress. 
    Let me be proactive for your next thread titled, “Wedding Nightmare: Mom Refuses to Pick Up Dress”.........

    Wear anything at all, mom.  I am done enabling, humoring, and crippling you.  
    MesmrEwe
  • MobKaz said:
    I asked my sister to find any dress in silver, black or red since those were our colors, but she didn't want to be in a different color than the rest of the bridesmaids so I told her I would buy her a new dress from David's Bridal if she could find one online she liked that a store near me might have in stock. She found several on David's Bridal that she liked so I contacted a few of the David's Bridals near me and the one had a dress in her size that she liked so I went and bought it. I had it sent overnight via FedEx to her house. Our seamstress said she could have it hemmed by Friday afternoon. As for my mom, she can figure that out on her own. I called a place for her to see about hemming because she said no place could hem a dress on time and they can hem it same day so all she has to do is pick a dress. 
    Let me be proactive for your next thread titled, “Wedding Nightmare: Mom Refuses to Pick Up Dress”.........

    Wear anything at all, mom.  I am done enabling, humoring, and crippling you.  
    I've told her to wear anything or buy something new because it doesn't matter to me. We shall see what she shows up in because I have offered to buy her a dress, my grandmother went out looking for dresses for her yesterday, and my sister offered to go shopping with her. She said no to everything so it is on her now. 
  • edited July 17
    My fsil/bridesmaid told me to tell those that complain to me or come to me with their problems that the complaint department is closed lol
    MissKittyDanger
  • edited July 17
    I know it isn't my problem, but I just hate to see my loved ones unhappy and I want to help anyway I can. 
  • flantasticflantastic The Midwest member
    2500 Comments Fifth Anniversary 500 Love Its 5 Answers
    I know it isn't my problem, but I just hate to see my loved ones unhappy and I want to help anyway I can. 
    At this point, though, it seems like they're determined to make themselves unhappy. So there's not really a whole lot you can do there, and that's why I'd stop worrying about it.
    short+sassycharlotte989875MobKazlevioosa
  • I know it isn't my problem, but I just hate to see my loved ones unhappy and I want to help anyway I can. 
    You've done what you can. Now it's time to let it be their problem. 
    image
  • MobKazMobKaz Chicago suburbs member
    Ninth Anniversary 5000 Comments 500 Love Its 5 Answers
    I know it isn't my problem, but I just hate to see my loved ones unhappy and I want to help anyway I can. 
    But it's OK for them to hassle and burden you to the point of a "mental breakdown"?
  • MesmrEweMesmrEwe member
    Knottie Warrior 2500 Comments 500 Love Its First Answer
    I know it isn't my problem, but I just hate to see my loved ones unhappy and I want to help anyway I can. 
    That's where we explain the need to get you some ego and self worth!  You are not the purveyor of their happiness and wellbeing, they are responsible for that.  I understand it makes you feel good to see them happy and helping them to be so, the reality is you've got a hole in your boat while trying to bail the water in theirs out into yours which ultimately sinks your ship.  It's o.k. to want the best for them, and reasonably help out when you can, however you're giving 110% for individuals who aren't going to give 2% in return.  You need to do some reflecting after the wedding is over because boundaries are going to become ever more important especially as your Mom ages.  
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