Wedding Invite Wording...It's Complicated

knottiec16e9c28dc1a5911

My mom, dad and step-mom all are contributing to my wedding financially.  My fiance and I will probably contribute a very small amount.  My in-laws didnt contribute financially but have been there for us every step of the way and will be hosting a nice rehearsal dinner.  My parents have a bad relationship, one wants their name on the invite, the other does not.  Does anyone have a way to word the invitation most appropriately?? Im stressing out big time over this.  Thank you! 

ILoveBeachMusic

The invitation indicates who is hosting, not who is paying. Hosting means keeping track of RSVP's, greeting guests at the reception and being a point person for questions from guests/vendors. If you and your FI will be doing that, then the invitation is issued in the third person. If a parent is doing it, then the parent's name is used. It really doesn't matter who wants their name on the invitation. The rehearsal dinner is a separate event and will have it's own invitation issued by your future in-laws. An example of the wedding invite:

The honor of your presence is requested at the marriage of (if it is at a place of worship otherwise use "the pleasure of your company")
Bride's name
to 
Groom's name
on Saturday the seventh of October
two thousand nineteen
at five o'clock
Church name (or venue name)
address 

If a parent is hosting:
Mr. John Smith 
and
Ms. Jane Jones
Request the honor of your presence (or pleasure of your company)
at the marriage of their daughter
Bride's name
to 
Grooms name
on Saturday the seventh of October
two thousand nineteen
at five o'clock
Church name (or venue)
address

If the reception is being held at the same place you can add an line indicating "reception immediately following".
If the reception is at a different place, include a reception card.

If the parent who is hosting doesn't want their name on the invite, then I guess I wouldn't use it.  Hope this helps.

climbingsingle

So and so "together with their families" - that's how I worded our invite. 

MobKaz

This question and the responses brought back some fond memories......

CMGragain member    

November 2014   edited April 2018

There is a lot of confusion about wedding invitations.  Wedding invitations are a simple note to from the hosts to the guests telling them the important information of who, what, when and where.  They are not family trees.  They are not the place to list family members unless they are hosting. They are not the proper place to declare how much you love each other.  It is not an honor to be on a wedding invitation, only to receive one.  Deceased persons are NEVER on an invitation!  NEVER!  The groom's family does not normally appear on the invitation UNLESS they are hosting.

Bride's parents are hosting:

Mr. and Mrs. John Bridesparents
request the pleasure of your company*
at the marriage of their daughter
Bride's First Middle
to
Mr. Groom's Full Name
Saturday, the twentieth of December
two thousand fourteen
at half after one o'clock
Venue Name
Address
City, State (no zip!)

Both Bride's parents and Groom's parents are hosting:

Mr. and Mrs. John Bridesparents
Mr. and Mrs. George Groomsparents
request the pleasure of your company*
at the marriage of
Bride's Full Name
and
Groom's Full Name
(etc.)

If the bride and groom are hosting their own wedding:

The pleasure of your company is requested*
at the marriage of
Bride's Full Name
and
Groom's Full Name
(etc.)

If the family is so confusing that it would take a book to write everybody's name on your invitation:

Together with their parents (families)
Bride's Full Name
and
Groom's Full Name
request the pleasure of your company*
as they are united in marriage
(etc.)

For same sex couples, the wording is the same.  I would put the names of the couple in alphabetical order, but it really doesn't matter.

* If the wedding will be held in a church, or other house of worship, you must use "request the honor (honour) of your presence".  Honour of your prersence is ONLY used for church weddings.

If your reception will be held in the same location as your ceremony, then you simply put "Reception to follow" at the bottom of the invitation.  If the reception is being held in a different location, then you need a separate reception card that gives that information.  Do not describe the food and entertainment at your reception.

If you are having a small wedding, or a courthouse ceremony, it is customary to send out wedding announcements to friends and family who were not invited to the wedding.  This does NOT mean that they should send you gifts.  The usual response is to send a nice note or card of congratulations.  It is like publishing your wedding announcement in the newspaper, but more personal.
Here is traditional wording for wedding announcements:

Bride's Full Name
and
Groom's Full Name
announce their marriage
December 20, 2014
Annapolis, Maryland

or

Mr. and Mrs. John Bridesparents
announce the marriage of their daughter
Bride's First Middle
to
Mr. Groom's First Name
December 20, 2014
Annapolis, Maryland

No other details should be included.  It would be like saying, we had a wonderful wedding with all this stuff, but you weren't invited.

There are many variations to the traditional wording of invitations, but you must be careful that your wording is very clear to your guests.  For instance, inviting someone to "a celebration of love" is very confusing.  It is not at all clear that this is a wedding.  Vow renewals must also be clearly worded so that no one thinks they are being invited to a wedding.  This can cause a lot of bad feelings!

Feel free to ask questions on this board.  There is a wording solution for every family situation.

Jen4948

It's weird without CMGragain to answer questions about invitation wording.

But it always amazes me how whenever someone has a question about this, they always bring up a breakdown of who is paying however much of the costs.