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Invites and Paper

Wedding Invite Wording...It's Complicated

My mom, dad and step-mom all are contributing to my wedding financially.  My fiance and I will probably contribute a very small amount.  My in-laws didnt contribute financially but have been there for us every step of the way and will be hosting a nice rehearsal dinner.  My parents have a bad relationship, one wants their name on the invite, the other does not.  Does anyone have a way to word the invitation most appropriately?? Im stressing out big time over this.  Thank you! 

Re: Wedding Invite Wording...It's Complicated

  • ILoveBeachMusicILoveBeachMusic Indiana member
    2500 Comments 500 Love Its Fourth Anniversary 5 Answers
    The invitation indicates who is hosting, not who is paying. Hosting means keeping track of RSVP's, greeting guests at the reception and being a point person for questions from guests/vendors. If you and your FI will be doing that, then the invitation is issued in the third person. If a parent is doing it, then the parent's name is used. It really doesn't matter who wants their name on the invitation. The rehearsal dinner is a separate event and will have it's own invitation issued by your future in-laws. An example of the wedding invite:

    The honor of your presence is requested at the marriage of (if it is at a place of worship otherwise use "the pleasure of your company")
    Bride's name
    to 
    Groom's name
    on Saturday the seventh of October
    two thousand nineteen
    at five o'clock
    Church name (or venue name)
    address 

    If a parent is hosting:
    Mr. John Smith 
    and
    Ms. Jane Jones
    Request the honor of your presence (or pleasure of your company)
    at the marriage of their daughter
    Bride's name
    to 
    Grooms name
    on Saturday the seventh of October
    two thousand nineteen
    at five o'clock
    Church name (or venue)
    address

    If the reception is being held at the same place you can add an line indicating "reception immediately following".
    If the reception is at a different place, include a reception card.

    If the parent who is hosting doesn't want their name on the invite, then I guess I wouldn't use it.  Hope this helps.

  • climbingwifeclimbingwife NYC 'burbs member
    10000 Comments Fifth Anniversary 500 Love Its 5 Answers
    So and so "together with their families" - that's how I worded our invite. 

  • MobKazMobKaz Chicago suburbs member
    Ninth Anniversary 5000 Comments 500 Love Its 5 Answers
    This question and the responses brought back some fond memories......


    CMGragain member
       
    November 2014   edited April 2018
    There is a lot of confusion about wedding invitations.  Wedding invitations are a simple note to from the hosts to the guests telling them the important information of who, what, when and where.  They are not family trees.  They are not the place to list family members unless they are hosting. They are not the proper place to declare how much you love each other.  It is not an honor to be on a wedding invitation, only to receive one.  Deceased persons are NEVER on an invitation!  NEVER!  The groom's family does not normally appear on the invitation UNLESS they are hosting.

    Bride's parents are hosting:

    Mr. and Mrs. John Bridesparents
    request the pleasure of your company*
    at the marriage of their daughter
    Bride's First Middle
    to
    Mr. Groom's Full Name
    Saturday, the twentieth of December
    two thousand fourteen
    at half after one o'clock
    Venue Name
    Address
    City, State (no zip!)

    Both Bride's parents and Groom's parents are hosting:

    Mr. and Mrs. John Bridesparents
    Mr. and Mrs. George Groomsparents
    request the pleasure of your company*
    at the marriage of
    Bride's Full Name
    and
    Groom's Full Name
    (etc.)

    If the bride and groom are hosting their own wedding:

    The pleasure of your company is requested*
    at the marriage of
    Bride's Full Name
    and
    Groom's Full Name
    (etc.)

    If the family is so confusing that it would take a book to write everybody's name on your invitation:

    Together with their parents (families)
    Bride's Full Name
    and
    Groom's Full Name
    request the pleasure of your company*
    as they are united in marriage
    (etc.)

    For same sex couples, the wording is the same.  I would put the names of the couple in alphabetical order, but it really doesn't matter.

    * If the wedding will be held in a church, or other house of worship, you must use "request the honor (honour) of your presence".  Honour of your prersence is ONLY used for church weddings.

    If your reception will be held in the same location as your ceremony, then you simply put "Reception to follow" at the bottom of the invitation.  If the reception is being held in a different location, then you need a separate reception card that gives that information.  Do not describe the food and entertainment at your reception.

    If you are having a small wedding, or a courthouse ceremony, it is customary to send out wedding announcements to friends and family who were not invited to the wedding.  This does NOT mean that they should send you gifts.  The usual response is to send a nice note or card of congratulations.  It is like publishing your wedding announcement in the newspaper, but more personal.
    Here is traditional wording for wedding announcements:

    Bride's Full Name
    and
    Groom's Full Name
    announce their marriage
    December 20, 2014
    Annapolis, Maryland

    or

    Mr. and Mrs. John Bridesparents
    announce the marriage of their daughter
    Bride's First Middle
    to
    Mr. Groom's First Name
    December 20, 2014
    Annapolis, Maryland

    No other details should be included.  It would be like saying, we had a wonderful wedding with all this stuff, but you weren't invited.

    There are many variations to the traditional wording of invitations, but you must be careful that your wording is very clear to your guests.  For instance, inviting someone to "a celebration of love" is very confusing.  It is not at all clear that this is a wedding.  Vow renewals must also be clearly worded so that no one thinks they are being invited to a wedding.  This can cause a lot of bad feelings!

    Feel free to ask questions on this board.  There is a wording solution for every family situation.

    ILoveBeachMusicJen4948
  • Jen4948Jen4948 Houston member
    10000 Comments Sixth Anniversary 500 Love Its 25 Answers
    It's weird without CMGragain to answer questions about invitation wording.

    But it always amazes me how whenever someone has a question about this, they always bring up a breakdown of who is paying however much of the costs.
    MobKazILoveBeachMusicCasadena
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