My entire teen years were spent in battle with my mother over my appearance. She wanted a doll she could dress up and dish about boys with, and she got a little hobgoblin instead. The more she pushed me to be “girly,” the more I clung to my weirdness. She refused to let me cut my hair, so I shaved my head before school. She gave me a $150 makeup kit; I gave it away. She got rid of all the pants in my closet, leaving me with nothing but skirts, so I stole my brother’s clothes. She said I would have to wear her clothes or go to school naked. I stripped my shirt off and walked down the street in my bra. We were at each other’s throats constantly, so I went to college on the other end of the state. I’m 19 now and feel a lot calmer. I’m mixing up my style, sometimes wear makeup, and even have a boyfriend. I haven’t told anyone in my family yet. I know my mother is going to gloat about how she was “right.” At that point, I might throw something at her head. How can I ask my mother to let it go or ask the rest of my family to intervene? At 14, I honestly thought I was unlovable because being pleasing to boys was the only measure of my worth. That was the message I got from my mom.