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As a Matron of Honor I'm feeling a bit left out...

So I've been named the matron of honor at my best friend's wedding (naturally). But I'm not the best at planning super girly events and because of my super demanding job, (the Navy) I won't be making it to the wedding until late the night before. One of the other brides maids on the other hand is all about planning the girly stuff and I handed the reins off to for planning the events of the day before since I can't physically be there. (Which was totally fine with) Until the bride came out with the day of schedule which did not include me for the hair and make-up session, but the other girl. Should I be upset? Or am I overreacting? Is there something else I should be doing?

Re: As a Matron of Honor I'm feeling a bit left out...

  • I think you should talk to your friend. Let her know that you are honored to be her matron of honor. Offer to help with anything that you can and want to do. If the other bridesmaid offers to help that’s okay! And your friend is perfectly fine to accept offers from other people. 

    I think its fine to offer to be apart of the day-of festivities and let her know when you’ll be there and available. I would just talk to your friend; tell her you’re excited for her and want to be there for her as much as you can. Maybe she thought you wouldn’t want to do the hair/makeup? Or wouldn’t be there yet? I think it’s fine to ask her. 
    MesmrEweshort+sassy
  • MobKazMobKaz Chicago suburbs member
    Ninth Anniversary 5000 Comments 500 Love Its 5 Answers
    So I've been named the matron of honor at my best friend's wedding (naturally). But I'm not the best at planning super girly events and because of my super demanding job, (the Navy) I won't be making it to the wedding until late the night before. One of the other brides maids on the other hand is all about planning the girly stuff and I handed the reins off to for planning the events of the day before since I can't physically be there. (Which was totally fine with) Until the bride came out with the day of schedule which did not include me for the hair and make-up session, but the other girl. Should I be upset? Or am I overreacting? Is there something else I should be doing?
    Are all the bridesmaids on the hair/make up schedule?  If they are, perhaps she thought you might not be in on time.  Perhaps she thought that since you are coming in late the night prior to the wedding, that you would prefer to sleep rather than awake early for hair/make up.  The only way to know for certain is to ask, especially if you do want to be involved with hair/make up.

    Do you know whether the bride is paying for these services?  If only the one BM is on the schedule, perhaps this is a “thank you” gift to the BM that is planning all these events.  

    To be honest, none of you should be GIVEN any of these “duties”.  Planning any pre-wedding event on behalf of the bride is always voluntary and at the discretion of the time, finances, and interests of the friends.
    knottie789d4f1044bc11aecharlotte989875short+sassyMairePoppy
  • Yes. ^^^If the other BM is the only one having her hair and makeup done with the bride, it's likely the bride is paying for this and wants to honor her for helping out. If this is the case, and she's the only one, I wouldn't give it another thought (except to thank the other girl for all her planning work) but if the bride has included all of the bridesmaids on the hair and makeup schedule except you, then yes, talk to her. You don't want to feel resentment toward your best friend.

    It sounds like the bride understands that you have a demanding job and wants you there because of your friendship, not your ability to plan things--she picked you to be her MOH even though she knew you weren't good at girly stuff and wouldn't be able to make a lot of the pre-wedding stuff.
    knottie789d4f1044bc11ae
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