Dear Prudence,
Since Dad died last year, our mother has turned into a recluse. She will not leave our tiny hometown despite being in perfect health and having a car. All of my siblings and I live between two and six hours away. Two are married with small children. I have made the trip out twice a month since Dad’s death. My siblings have tried, but honestly, they shouldn’t have to. No one wants to sit in hours of traffic when they’re outnumbered by cranky toddlers in the backseat. Our mother puts a lot of pressure and guilt on seeing the grandbabies, but she will not go see them herself. The holidays are coming up—the first without Dad. My sister and brother both want to celebrate in their own homes this year. I agree, but what do we do about Mom? How do we persuade her to come rather than having us come to her? I can’t keep these trips up myself and have rotated holidays since my siblings got married.
—Isolated Mom