Father Daughter Dance

futuremrs20

Hi Knotties,

I'm getting married in a little over 7 months. My father passed away a few years ago - we were very, very close and I was the only daughter out of four kids. I have three brothers and will be doing a dance with them to honor my Dad. The most stress I am having is over which song to choose. Initially I had chosen Josh Groban's "To Where You Are" but it is so damn sad. My "song" with my Dad was "Father and Daughter" by Paul Simon. The main phrase in the song is "There could never be a father who loves his daughter more than I love you." It is how we used to sign our texts and cards. Then I hear another song and think, "Maybe it should be this one." I guess the whole "Dad not being there" mentality is putting more pressure on me than it should so I am curious if anyone else has experience with this. Just a note, the song is non-negotiable and something I really want to do so I don't really want suggestions of "Just don't do it." Rather I would love to hear of songs where brides might have done something similar since it is a deeply sensitive and personal subject. Thanks, all! 

sparklepants41

knottie00fe2f54982b4d5d said:

Hi Knotties,

I'm getting married in a little over 7 months. My father passed away a few years ago - we were very, very close and I was the only daughter out of four kids. I have three brothers and will be doing a dance with them to honor my Dad. The most stress I am having is over which song to choose. Initially I had chosen Josh Groban's "To Where You Are" but it is so damn sad. My "song" with my Dad was "Father and Daughter" by Paul Simon. The main phrase in the song is "There could never be a father who loves his daughter more than I love you." It is how we used to sign our texts and cards. Then I hear another song and think, "Maybe it should be this one." I guess the whole "Dad not being there" mentality is putting more pressure on me than it should so I am curious if anyone else has experience with this. Just a note, the song is non-negotiable and something I really want to do so I don't really want suggestions of "Just don't do it." Rather I would love to hear of songs where brides might have done something similar since it is a deeply sensitive and personal subject. Thanks, all! 

First off, I am so sorry for your loss. That's really sweet that you will be dancing with your brothers to honor your dad. Especially given its significance to you and your dad, I think you should dance to the Paul Simon song. 

futuremrs20

Thank you, what a kind message  

climbingsingle

I'm sorry for your loss. I think you should go with the Paul Simon song. 

short+sassy

I am so sorry for your loss!  My own father passed away years before I got married.  My H and I chose not to have the parent dances.  But I think the special dance you are having with your brothers sounds lovely.

I'm terrible with song suggestions, but I think whatever song feels the best, feels "right" for you is a great choice.

For a little bit of unsolicited advice.  The special occasions and moments in your life like these, will more keenly bring back the memories of our loved ones.  And that's okay!  And they don't necessarily need to be all sadness either.  On the morning of my wedding, I set aside some alone time to cry and "talk" to my dad.  Get it out of my system.  I still thought of him throughout the day, but it was with a smile.  Knowing he was with me in spirit and happy that I was happy.

banana468

I love that song and think it's great.   I'll echo the others that you're allowed to miss those close to you during moments like this.   And when you have these situations I think you're handling it with as much grace as you can.   

downtondiva

I'm sorry for your loss. I think it's really sweet that you're going to dance with your brothers to honor your dad. Skipping the spotlight dance entirely would be the answer for many people in your situation, but you have to do what feels right for you, not for other people.

Since the Paul Simon song had special meaning for you and your dad, I say go for it. The only advice I would give is to keep in mind with this dance is that it could create a super emotional moment for you and your family at your wedding reception, and to just make sure you're comfortable with that.