Dear Prudence,
I recently went on a date I’d had low expectations for and ended up having a great time. I spent the night at his place, and he kept talking about wanting to hang out again. However—in what often ends up happening—a few days later he stopped answering my texts. I didn’t send many, maybe one or two a day asking how he was doing and mentioning that I’d like to see him again. After a while, I said I’d have preferred if he had just been upfront about not wanting to go out a second time instead of ghosting me. He ended up responding a few hours later to tell me that while he was dealing with too much at work and was burnt out and couldn’t commit to anything long-term, he did want to see me again when he was feeling better.
He also mentioned that he often has his text notifications turned off because a lot of his friendships faded away when his friends got into relationships and knowing no one was texting him made him feel worse. I feel like he still may be leading me on and is too cowardly to turn me down, but I’m also worried he may be depressed. Since he doesn’t seem to have many or any close friendships, I’m wondering if I should try to see if he’s OK, though I also realize that we have only known each other for a few weeks. I’m also not sure if I have the emotional bandwidth to provide support to him. I feel like I should probably just be glad I had one good date and leave it that, but I guess the slight possibility that he may reach out for another date and the guilt of abandoning a person going through a tough time is stopping me. Are my instincts right? Do I just need to officially cut the cord?
—Depressed or Ghosting?