Wedding 911

Severe Anxiety About Upcoming Wedding - How did you cope?

Ok, all you anxious brides, I need some reassurance.

I get incredibly anxious whenever I have to do anything publicly, or am in a new/uncomfortable situation. My heart starts racing incredibly fast, my hands sweat, my mouth gets dry and I have trouble speaking, I will get nauseous, and feel like I need to use the bathroom...if you know what I mean, and I get these red blotches all over my neck and chest. I am not a person who can hide their nerves. I was in a friend's wedding as a bridesmaid and they told us to smile as we walked down the aisle, I was so nervous I could barely smile my mouth was shaking so much. I felt anxious the whole time I was standing up there, and I wasn't even the bride! I saw a picture of myself walking down the aisle afterward, and I looked absolutely horrified.

I am getting married next Saturday and the closer I get to the wedding, the more I am experiencing these feelings, even at just the thought of it. After sharing this with my doctor, they prescribed me Propranolol to try prior to the wedding to see if it could help me. I've tried it twice now, prior to public presentations, and it did not seem to help me.

Also, in an attempt to try anything and everything that might help, I am going to a hypnotherapist on Monday. We'll see how that goes.

For all you brides who may have felt the same way prior to your wedding, how did the actual day go?? How did you manage? I don't want to dread my wedding and feel this way the day of, I want to enjoy it!

Re: Severe Anxiety About Upcoming Wedding - How did you cope?

  • I am fortunate not to have this issue, but my sister does. Her anxiety can be crippling. She knew that going into the wedding and tried to plan in ways that would alleviate her anxiety. (Smaller guest list, short ceremony, etc.) Additionally, she spent a lot of time with her therapist preparing. She also did a few visits to the ceremony venue ahead of time so that the space felt familiar by the day of. I know you mentioned a doctor, but do you see a therapist for this? Seeing someone regularly can help you develop coping mechanisms, which are often more effective than medication alone. I don't put a lot of stock in hypnosis, but if it brings you comfort, go for it.

    You will get through this. The longer you take to plan, practice coping, and prepare, the easier it will be. 
  • Well - I'm going to be the one to say Hypnosis/NLP are your best options (then again, I'm a bit biased LOL) and you've already got that appointment set so it's go-time!   It's not just to eliminate it from happening at your wedding, I wonder if you can imagine all the other ways this will change other areas of your life for the better that you haven't even dreamt about yet but can be excited to get to do now in the future!   One of my trainers literally had 7 minutes on National Television to work with someone who had a snake phobia and it's still gone years later!  When I was in a class a few months ago a gal who was terrified of getting up in front of the room, she just posted a(nother!) video of her leading a room of 1000 people beaming from ear to ear!  

    With that, I'll say seed the process along, imagine what you want to look like walking down the aisle, or you could flip it and your SO walking to meet you at the end of the aisle already there enjoying yourself.  What would that look like - where do you notice it in your body first feeling great to be marrying the love of your life?  As my trainer says "The best part about the past is it's over, the best part about the future is it hasn't happened yet, and the now is a present - enjoy the gift of the choices you have in the now!"

    Keep us updated!
  • Although I don't suffer from anxiety, I was certainly nervous on my wedding day!  I assume most people are.  

    I repeatedly visualized what it was going to look/feel like...or at least my guess of that it felt more familiar and comfortable, on the day of.

    For some people this might be counter-intuitive.  But, when I'm worried about something, I'll picture bad things that could happen.  Both ridiculous...and then laugh at it.  But also more within the realm of possibility.  And then think about how I would handle it.  What would the long term consequences be.  How would XYZ bad thing actually affect my life.  Usually it's "not much" and it wouldn't be a big deal.

    I was hypnotized once in a show, of all things, lol.  I felt really relaxed and just an inner sense of well being for the rest of the night.  The feeling didn't last through the next day.  But then, I also wasn't seeing the guy for a specific purpose.  Hopefully seeing a hypnotherapist is a positive and more long lasting experience for you.  But even if you just feel less anxious for 1-2 days after the appointment,  Maybe book another session for the morning of.
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