I've been with my SO for 7.5 years and we've been living together for the last 1.5 of that time. A month before we got engaged, we both spoke to my parents for their blessing. I've always been close to my dad and my relationship with my mom has been rocky at best. So last weekend we got engaged, it was absolutely amazing, then the next morning my dad was the first one I called. All he had for me was harsh words about how we should "slow down" and "well, I guess I'm happy for you." No congratulations. No even act of pretending to be happy for me. So naturally, I was a mess. When I thought I was steady enough to face my mom, I called her. She could hear the pain in my voice and I broke again. She said, "well, what did you expect him to say?". I don't know, maybe 'congratulations' would have been nice. I avoided their texts and calls all that day then decided to call my dad back to give him a chance to apologize because there was no way he could have meant what he said, right? Wrong. He doubled down, going on about how we were moving too fast and that my SO was pressuring me. I told him it was a joint decision and based on my school schedule for the next 4 years or so, this was the best time. His final blow to me was "You two live together anyway, so what's the difference?". They knew each other for 6 months before getting engaged, by the way.
The next day or so my mom wanted to talk, having the same questions my dad had, me having the same answers. She proceeds to tell me that my dad never truly gave my SO his blessing, that my dad said he wanted to talk to me first. And that is what happened, but after my dad and I spoke, he sounded reluctant but accepting. Both of my parents say they're in shock but my SO and I are calling BS - we've been together since 2012, we moved in at our 6-year anniversary, we asked for their blessing a month before getting engaged.
It has been a week since that throwdown: still no word from my dad (we usually speak 1-2 times a week), nothing but attitude from my mom (to be expected), and nothing but support from literally everyone else we know (including the rest of my family). This was expected from my mom, but so unlike my dad. Honestly, I'm still hurting. I know things are still fresh, but my SO and I are both considering uninviting them from the wedding and all other wedding-related festivities. Our wedding is in 8 months and things will change (hopefully). I just don't know where to place that line in the sand and if I do end up telling my parents that they're uninvited, do I take it back if they decide to grow up? Do I reach out to my dad first? They ruined my engagement announcement, but I refuse to let them ruin my wedding. Advice needed.