I got married this October to the man I’ve been with since my mid-20s. We are now in our late 30s. I don’t doubt my decision to marry at all, but I fear for the future. I always wanted to become a mother, and for the past couple of years, my husband and I have mostly fought over this question. He has a point: I am drowning in student debt, I don’t have hopes of a high-paying job, and raising kids in these times means forever shrinking portions of a pie. But I’m smart, in a pretty good mental state, and we love each other.
The truth is he just doesn’t feel the same pull toward parenthood that I do, though he claims he “wants” it. With the serious doubts he feels and without a true emotional draw, I am scared that he will run out the clock unconsciously, and while I want to enjoy the honeymoon period, I also want to shout that he should take my fertility concerns more seriously. Feeling powerless means not feeling sexy. And I want to feel sexy. You advise a lot of families without significant means, so what do you say to this dilemma?
—Concerned About Children