Wedding Woes

WTH? Stop harrassing people and talking about our family with strangers

It is common knowledge in my family that my father was a sperm donor 30 years ago, and we are all pretty accepting of the fact that he probably has donor children out there. He has never expressed interest in contacting any of them. Recently, my go-getter cousin who has a history of overstepping boundaries used an online DNA test, through which she found many genetic first cousins—my father’s donor children, who are adults now. She has eagerly contacted them, explaining who my father is and giving details about our family. On at least one account, she repeatedly messaged someone who ignored her first message. My father, as well as the rest of my immediate family, is very uncomfortable with this. It comes off as the sperm donor using his niece to contact these people, and she gives us all a bad name by harassing people who may not want anything to do with their donor. Is it within my father’s rights to ask her to please stop this kind of contact, or is she free to annoy these people who are technically her genetic family too?
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Re: WTH? Stop harrassing people and talking about our family with strangers

  •  I think this is the one of the few cases where it’s totally fine for the parent to ask someone else to stop with DNA investigating. She’s might keep doing it anyway but at least he’s expressed his wishes to remain anonymous. 

    If this was the children coming forward it would be a different story, IMO, but this seems like someone not directly involved trying to insert themselves into a situation. 
    short+sassyOliveOilsMomMesmrEwe
  • drunkenwitchdrunkenwitch member
    Fifth Anniversary 1000 Comments 500 Love Its First Answer
    edited January 23
    Cousin needs to be hogtied and beaten with a large stick until some common sense sticks in her brain. At best she's harassing innocent people who just want to live their lives in peace at worst she and the rest of the family will end up in a murder dungeon. 

    short+sassyOliveOilsMomMesmrEwe
  • I agree, this cousin definitely needs to be spoken to and asked to STOP IT!

    There is so much invasion of privacy going on here...for both the family and the bio-children...that I am cringing.
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    OliveOilsMomMesmrEwe
  • She definitely needs to be spoken to as some of these families may have never told their child that a donor was used nor do they want it getting around.  As others said, it's one thing if the child reached out to the newfound cousin, but that's not the case and really, overstepping at its finest.  
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