Wedding Party

Role of Future SIL

My brother is engaged, but won't be getting married for a few years. My wedding is this year. I really like his fiance, but don't feel close enough to her to include her with my bridesmaids. Are there any other roles you can think of that can make her feel special and included? I want to find unique ways to include all members of my family (ex: our grandmas will be flower girls) in the wedding and more specifically the ceremony if possible. Even if it's not a traditional role, I want to find some way to include her.

Re: Role of Future SIL

  • It is nice of you to want to include her, but you don't have to include her merely because she is engaged to your brother.  Do not "create" or make up some role just to include her.  If your ceremony includes any type of reading, you could ask her to fill that role, if she is comfortable with public speaking.  Even if she attends as a guest, you could still give her a corsage or other wedding party flower to make her feel special.
  • I don't feel obligated too; I just want to. I want everyone special to us to be included in some way.
  • Usher...  Reading...  
  • I don't feel obligated too; I just want to. I want everyone special to us to be included in some way.
    That is not unusual.  But do not create "roles" that aren't really roles.  No one feels honored, for example, passing out programs or performing some job that is unnecessary.  Unless you need someone to read during the ceremony or help as an usher, as PP's have suggested, being an honored guest is special, too.
  • She can do a reading if she's comfortable with that. If she's musically talented, you could ask if she'd be willing to sing/play during the ceremony. If there are any religious roles in your ceremony, she could do that. 
  • Bear in mind that there are no "unique" ways to include someone in your wedding party. The available roles are MOH, bridesmaid, flower girl, reader, singer/musician, and religious roles. If you don't want to offer one of those roles to your brother's fiancee, then she should just be a guest. 

    Don't expect her to hand things out or otherwise "work" at the ceremony or reception. It doesn't make anyone feel "included" -- just "used."
  • levioosa said:
    Please don’t make your grandmothers flower girls. It’s not cute to infantilize adults. And not everyone needs a role. Being a guest is an honor too. If you really want her to be a part of the wedding, ask her if she would like to do a reading. 
    THIS.   It's one thing if you want your grandmothers to process but I really dislike the concept of asking someone two generations older than you to act like a person in the generation below.   

    I understand that this isn't completely unique but I think it's loathsome unless both grandmothers came up with the idea on their own and even then I'd probably turn them down. 
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