Wedding Etiquette Forum

Inviting extended family Kids to the shower and not wedding?

Hi! I have a large family and due to capacity limits we not inviting kids to the wedding, except our immediate family (most of them our in our wedding party) . If we invited everyones kids it would be another 25-35 guests. My question is my mom is hosting a bridal shower and she was planning on inviting all of the kids of my extended family. The shower is only girls, so only about 10 additional guests if they are invited.  I wasn't sure if this would be confusing since they aren't invited to the wedding or is this fine?  From what I read is you should only invite people to your shower that your inviting to your wedding but do kids count?

Re: Inviting extended family Kids to the shower and not wedding?

  • Hi! I have a large family and due to capacity limits we not inviting kids to the wedding, except our immediate family (most of them our in our wedding party) . If we invited everyones kids it would be another 25-35 guests. My question is my mom is hosting a bridal shower and she was planning on inviting all of the kids of my extended family. The shower is only girls, so only about 10 additional guests if they are invited.  I wasn't sure if this would be confusing since they aren't invited to the wedding or is this fine?  From what I read is you should only invite people to your shower that your inviting to your wedding but do kids count?
    Kids count just like adults. If they’re not invited to the wedding they shouldn’t be invited to any pre-wedding parties. Think of it this way, you’ll be talking about the wedding, saying “can’t wait to see you at the wedding” and they’ll hear that and think they’re going. Even kids have feelings that get hurt when they’re left out of events. If the wedding is adults only (which is totally fine) all the other events should be adults only too. 
    MobKazILoveBeachMusicshort+sassyJen4948
  • If these kids aren't invited to the wedding, they shouldn't be invited to the shower either. I don't know when your mom is planning on sending out shower invitations, but you should talk to her abut this before she does. You are right that inviting kids to this could lead to confusion, and it could also lead to some hurt feelings for both kids and adults. 
    image
    short+sassy
  • I agree with PPs. The only exception I might make would be for a newborn baby (I would even make that exception for the wedding though). Even then, others people might think they could bring their children to the wedding since the baby was at the shower. 
    charlotte989875short+sassy
  • climbingsingleclimbingsingle NYC 'burbs member
    Eighth Anniversary 10000 Comments 500 Love Its 5 Answers
    No, you should not be inviting kids to the shower if they're not invited to the wedding. 
    short+sassy
  • Jen4948Jen4948 Houston member
    Ninth Anniversary 10000 Comments 500 Love Its 25 Answers
    If the kids are not invited to the wedding, then they shouldn't be invited to the shower.

    Let Mom know (gently): "Mom, I don't think you should invite the kids or anyone else who is not invited to the wedding to the shower. It would hurt anyone at the shower to learn that they are not invited to the wedding. Please don't do it."
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