Must-Haves/ Don’t Need Baby List?

charlotte989875

Since I can’t actually go out and shop, and I value all of your opinions do you have any must-haves or don’t-bother items for babies? I want to put a list together so we can start getting what we need but it feels overwhelming. 

Any suggestions? 

mrsconn23

Must-have:

A ton of onesies, and in varying sizes.  They grow out of them so fast that the snaps are straining before you know it
Diapers in different sizes. This way when they're peeing out of size 2 in the middle of the night (because it always happens in the night), you can grab a size 3.
Zip up sleepers/sleep bags, makes diaper changes at night super easy
A boppy
A comfortable carrier with a graduating weight limit/inserts, especially now living in COVID times.  A carrier will help keep people away-ish
Burp cloths that are on the large side or thin blankets.  I found those Gerber thinner blankets were better/more cover than a smaller burp cloth
Gripe water or gas drops
Get good, thick wipes, or you'll have poop on your hands.  Walmart's "good choice" brand are super thick
A pack-n-play, especially if you're going to have the baby 'rooming' in with you for awhile.  DefConn slept in his for about 6 months. 
Lanolin for your nips, if you plan on BFing/pumping (pro-tip, if pumping, line the flanges with lanolin...that way you don't have rubbing issues)
A sound machine
A vibrating or rocking chair (DefConn loved his and it gave my arms a break)
A dedicated changing space to keep all the diaper change stuff in one location

Don't need:

Wipe warmer
Diaper genie (ours stunk up the room, much better just to throw away in main trash)
Too many clothes in one size (especially up to 12 mos)
A ton of blankets (we had SO many)
A ton of toys
A swing

It's been 9 years, so I'm sure I'm forgetting some things.  LOL 

banana468

charlotte989875 said:

Since I can’t actually go out and shop, and I value all of your opinions do you have any must-haves or don’t-bother items for babies? I want to put a list together so we can start getting what we need but it feels overwhelming. 

Any suggestions? 

Things I never used:
-Wipe warmer
-bottle warmer

Things that I loved:
-white noise machine.  Get one that plugs in.  The ones that are made to look like animals are cute but they shut off after 45 minutes max
-Night light.   Chiquita STILL needs hear sea turtle to go to sleep.

Car seat: When you look for one try it out if you can.   It's easier said than done now but had I known what I did when we registered we would have either bought a different car (2008 Subaru Outback) or a different infant carrier because in order for it to be set up in the back seat we had to move the front seat ALLL the way forward.  Look up ratings for the infant carrier in Consumer Reports. 

Stroller: You know how often you get out.   If you think you want to run/jog, be out walking then start to look at ones that are great.  

Baby carrier: I LOATHED the Baby Bjorn.   I loved the Ergo.  SIL loved the Becco Gemini.   Both had additional back support. 

High Chair: look for ones that can be HOSED.   

Sheets: I'd get at LEAST 3 sets.   If you are going to send the baby to a daycare add at least 2.

Aden and Anais gauze blankets are phenomenal.   Register for the big size that  Amazon has.   They are soft, great for swaddling, nursing covers, and lovies. 

Convertible car seats: I'm a BIG fan of the Diono Ranier

Nursing? 
Breast Pump: If you think you can get one through insurance look at what they cover.   I loved my Medela.  Register for the pump disinfectant bags if you will pump at work. 

Bras: Do not look for 'work appropriate' ones now.  But do look for sleep or sleep appropriate ones.   I had 2 or 3 that I slept in and wore on weekends.    I needed to get fit for a different size after kids were born. 

Get nipple cream.   Get it.   Get it now.

Speaking of nipples, if you are nursing, don't buy a slew of bottles until you try out a few.   Chiquita was mostly bottle fed and didn't care.   Chiquito was picky.   And it was annoying. 

ALSO, if you start to pump, don't build a huge freezer stash before you verify that you don't have a lipase issue.   A friend found that she had one and she had a freezer stash she had to destroy because un-scalded frozen milk tastes soapy and terrible to baby.   So if you do have a lipase issue pumping is fine but you'll have to scald before you freeze. 

Bouncy seats are amazing.  Chiquita slept in one for her first 6 weeks of life. 

If you can, borrow a swing first.   Some kids love them but some do not.   Chiquita would live in it.   Chiquito was not its biggest fan. 

Pack and Play - I found that having one set up on a different floor with a changing table space was really helpful postpartum. 

I loved our itsbeen timer https://www.amazon.com/Pocket-Nanny-Timer-Round-Tracker/dp/B000MEB3GE  

Notes: Diapers are a weird racket.   Luvs worked well for my kids.   Target at the infant stage SUUUUUCKED.  Kiddos grow out of diapers when they are still pounds away from the upper size limit.   Do not take those sizes as when you move up.   You'll have too much poop in the wash if you do. 

I did not get baby laundry detergent but did get free and clear detergent.   Stock up on spray and wash or other stain removers. 

For baths, think of where you'll bathe the baby.   We put a baby tub in our tub as the ideal way to clean the kiddos. 

Swaddlers with velcro are great.   When they graduate from them, sleep sacks are awesome. 

banana468

If you can get a temporal thermometer they are also ideal.

MissKittyDanger

Carseat - look into what your hospital wants. We had 2, one was for newborn and could unclick from car and that's what our hospital required you to bring in.
We're now in a convertible carseat - which is great financially

Convertible cribs are pretty easy. We plan on not doing it to the double bed, but so far we're liking it.

I would personally vote against doing a change table, but my kid is really mobile and was really wiggly. They're great for when they're not mobile but once they know how to roll or crawl - they try to leave you while changing a bum lol

Diaper genie! I really didn't think it'd be a big deal, but it really is for us. We had trash issues for a bit until we started using it. The refill things are really durable and keep stink in.

BabyKitten wasn't a swaddle baby, but I hear lots about a sleep sack. Some others may have better ideas.

If you're gonna take them swimming, I would personally suggest cloth swim diaper. Sizes adjust well, and they're cute. I got a few on Amazon - AlvaBaby brand.

If you bottle feed {even if you pump and bottle} - I like Tommy Tippee. My husband and I were colic babies, so these are anti-colic. Also amazon.

MissKittyDanger

@mrsconn23 funny you say no diaper genie, but I say yes lol. Our trash smelt so bad pre-diaper genie though

mrsconn23

MissKittyDanger said:

@mrsconn23 funny you say no diaper genie, but I say yes lol. Our trash smelt so bad pre-diaper genie though

I was using our almost 10 years go, so maybe the technology for holding the stink in is better now.  LOL

Casadena

Here's my novel!!!!  

Sign up for registries at Walmart, Target, buy buy baby, amazon, and babylist even if you don't end up actually registering there - they will send a box of free samples with diapers, wipes and bottles, etc.  This is SO helpful so you can try stuff when he's here and not waste a bunch money on diapers or bottles that he doesn't use. 

Don't bother:

• changing pad covers (ours were stained and gross after a couple days),
• hooded baby towels (so cute, but not very practical after the first couple weeks)
• nursing bras/tanks/shirt:  I found them super annoying and usually just took my shirt totally off or just lift it.  
• Boppy pillow - i've used this maybe twice
• cute hospital clothes for you (or makeup, etc).  I was perfectly comfy in a hospital gown during labor and delivery.  After my first shower i put on a comfy bra, t-shirt and baggy sweats.  

Must-haves baby:

• humidifier (Fridababy humidifier/diffuse/nightlight combo is awesome)
• baby bathtub of some kind
• snot sucker (NoseFrida)
• flat cloth diapers: we use these for everything: changing pad covers - one underneath, one on top to contain pee, for burp cloths, and to cover in the bathtub til he can sit up in the water
• Halo sleep sack with velcro swaddle: unless youre a magician, don't bother with big swaddle blankets, make it easy and get something like this.  Also, ours hated being swaddled at first and starting rolling over really early, so it was nice to be able to tighten around his chest for comfort but not contain his arms.
• places to sleep: think about where you spend your time.  We had a bassinet in the family room, an infant high chair attachment in the kitchen, and a pack and play in our bedroom until he moved to his bedroom around 3 months.  Great to not have to lug around from room to room but can sleep near you at any time/put him down to pee, etc.
• Extra car seat base if you have multiple cars: Car seats all have to pass the same safety tests, some just have increase comfort measures.  recommend picking one that clicks easily into a stroller (unless you're only going with a jogging stroller, then it doesn't matter)
• Stroller - I wanted one with strong rubber wheels (as opposed to hard plastic) because we walk on sidewalks a lot and we've have been very happy with it. You may want a jogging stroller instead
• Rectal thermometer (and KY jelly) - way more accurate than other methods
• Squirt tubes of vaseline (if you're circumcising) - easier and more sanitary to smear on the front of the diaper for the first couple weeks
• Simple Joys Carters side snap onesies - kid lived in these and footie pants the first month.  No messing with socks, didn't bother his umbilical cord, didn't have to pull anything over his head, and the built in mittens are deep enough to actually cover his hands.
  
• diaper pail with a pedal to open with your foot - I truly don't think brand matters (we have dekor and like it)
• video monitor (non-wifi) Infant optics brand

Must-haves mom: 

• preparation H mediated wipes for women
• LONG pads (https://www.target.com/p/always-maxi-extra-heavy-overnight-pads-size-5-36ct/-/A-46793821) after the hospital ones run out, Depends overnights are great too if you're still bleeding heavily after hospital ones are gone
• Dermoplast pain relieving spray (or another brand, but you'll want something)
• Big underwear - I wore nothing but these for at least 2 months, recommend at least one size bigger than your normal (https://www.amazon.com/wirarpa-Underwear-Coverage-Breathable-Multipack/dp/B07TMCTH29?th=1)
• comfy bras - you'll be wearing one 24/7 if you breastfeed.  I still can't handle any kind of padding, it rubs and hurts
• breast pump (if breastfeeding), insurance likely provides - i love the Spectra S2 that I have.  We had nursing issues for awhile and the lactation consultant specifically mentioned it was good that I had this one (as opposed to the very popular Medela Freestyle).  It is more customizable in terms of suction and frequency than Medela.  Obviously Medela is popular for a reason and many ppl are happy with that as well. 
• hands-free pumping bra (if breastfeeding/pumping)
• nipple cream (motherlove, and medela have been my faves)
• shirts you dont' mind getting stained (nipple cream leaks through)

MissKittyDanger

mrsconn23 said:

MissKittyDanger said:

@mrsconn23 funny you say no diaper genie, but I say yes lol. Our trash smelt so bad pre-diaper genie though

I was using our almost 10 years go, so maybe the technology for holding the stink in is better now.  LOL

Ours was good, and it was in the living room  

MissKittyDanger

Mom hospital needs:

1st of all, see what your hospital gives you. Ours did not provide many diapers and wipes, so M had to pick some up from home when he fed cats.
They did provide a peri bottle and large pads.

- Do pick up larger wearing undies that are cotton. I found some really comfy ones I still wear. Make sure you feel comfortable wearing them.

- I had BabyKitten in summer so I was cool with wearing flipflops but if it's cold, bring warm socks and/or slippers. Hospitals can get chilly. Think of that when picking clothes.
Going home I just wore capri sweat pants, tank top and a light sweater over. Your hormones won't really tell you much about weather, so it may be a crapshoot.

- body wash. Not all hospitals provide this and even if they do, you may want something from home. It's comforting. Also bring a towel in case.

- have your H pack his own shit. You may think he needs something but he'll think otherwise.

- if you have a tablet, bring it. Depending on situation, it could be useful. I watched netflix while waiting on stuff at the beginning and when I was alone and BabyKitten was asleep but I wanted to eat.

- do not worry if you're not hungry or if you're extra hungry. Same goes for sleep. Just try to ensure your H is on the same page with your needs and adjust as needed

Casadena

OH, sticky socks (like yoga/barre type socks) are amazing for the hospital when you're unsteady, and home when you're carrying around a newborn. 

MissKittyDanger

oh! One thing I adore is Hatch Baby Rest - it plays white noise and you can hook it to your phone bluetooth. Helps baby rest and tbh it helps adults rest too. White noise!

ei34

Must-haves:
- Aden & Anais swaddle blankets
- sleep sacks in various sizes/fabrics (ex: maybe cotton in 0-3mos since it'll be summer, fleece in 6-9mos for the winter) my kids all wore them past age 2, even once they were old enough for a blanket in the bed they kicked them off and the sleep sack gave me the peace of mind that they were warm enough
- hands-free time is so important, think about what rooms you'll be in and have somewhere you can put the baby in each room.  This can be a pack and play in one super convenient place, and then a swing or rocker that's portable enough to be moved from room to room
- rectal and forehead thermometers
- a good baby monitor
- tiny nail filers bc the baby's nails will be crazy long at birth...two of my kids kept getting the little mittens off and scratching themselves when they were too young for me to cut their nails
- when I had three messy-but-desperate-to-be-independent eaters, the OXO tot roll up bib was my best, most cherished friend...same for the Munchkin stay-put suction bowls.  Go ahead toddler, try and throw it off the table...
- some people feel they're a waste of space/money, but I recommend a baby bath tub with a newborn/infant insert...I didn't really feel safe having my kids sit up in our big bathtub until closer to one, the baby tub inside the regular tub gave me peace of mind
- I really liked (well the kids all really liked) Phillips Avent bottles, but I know each baby is different...one of mine had major nipple confusion and they were the only one that she'd take
- a carrier- I really liked the Boba Wrap...hated the Baby Bjorn
- just get one infant car seat, and then multiple bases for however many cars they baby will be in...one for your car, one for your H's...as opposed to two infant car seats. 
- baby first aid kit - I know it seems like a marketing ploy but it's nice to have the tiny nail clippers, nasal aspirator*, medicine dropper, soft bristle brush, cotton swabs, etc all in one place)
* - for nasal aspirators I recommend the nose frida..the rubber bulb one the hospital will probably send you home with is terrific but just doesn't last forever
- infant Tylenol for that first fever (which 90% will happen at 2am)
- if nursing - lanolin cream and comfy overnight bras
- if pumping - a double electric breast pump and a couple of hands free nursing bras (and freezing the milk as soon as it's pumped laying down flat, and storing it upright, is a big space-saver)
- a Bills jersey in size 0-6mos

Don't bother:
- wipe warmer
- bottle warmer
- diaper genie
- changing table (just put the changing pad on top of a long, low dresser)
- changing pad cover
- high chair (they take up so much room...I used booster seats with all three and loved that they just sat right at the table)
- any of those baby-food making sets (if you'd like to make baby food at home, an immersion blender and ice cube trays are all you need)
- a fancy diaper bag (I used a backpack with lots of pockets and it went really well)
- too many clothes in size 0-3mos and too many of any size diaper (well, really size NB, 1, and 2...mine were all in size 3 for months on end for some reason lol).  But you won't know how much of any size you'll need until your son is here and going through growth spurts and plateaus

I'm sorry again that you're pregnant through this craziness and can't be out there trying everything out! A stroller especially, it's nice to get your hands on.  I loved Britax and City Mini (both were lightweight and folded in a snap) but it's hard to not get into a store and try it for yourself.

mrsconn23

OMG yes on not needing an actual highchair.  There are so many options that can strap to a regular kitchen table chair.  

Also, use a lingerie bag for socks and other small items so they don't get lost. 

And you don't need dreft or any special detergents. We used fragrance free/sensitive skin stuff. 

I would get one of those little boxes for the dishwasher where you can put bottle parts, pacifiers, and other small parts that need to be washed and you don't want them to get lost. I think Munchkin brand makes them.

Also get a couple types of bottle, as it may be trial and error.  We used Medela bottles that went with my pump at first and then we switched to Avent bottles.  I know there's Tommee Tippee or whatever that I know some people swear by.   

kvruns

Pretty much all has been covered and as you can see it really varies by person as far as what they liked that others didn't. Just a few notes:

Monitor - we have a Nest camera that we can watch with our phones and then a separate cheaper audio monitor. At first I thought my H was crazy wanting it but I actually like it better this way. I can use my phone for video when I want it but dont have to worry about carrying around a separate monitor. I use the audio monitor for nap or bedtime to have on me although if your bedroom is close enough to the baby's you could do without.

Diaper genie - I'm team diaper genie but I know lots aren't. We have one in both rooms he normally gets changed in. It isn't perfect with the smell but I prefer it to open trash

Dog poop bags - keep these in your diaper bag for on the go changes to conceal smell when putting in a public trash can.

Meds - gas drops, baby tylenol, etc Plenty on hand so you dont need to worry about being out in the middle of the night.

Diaper bag - definitely a backpack style. I had a shoulder bag/tote type for the first year and it was fine but once I got a backpack it was like why didn't I have this before??

Diapers/wipes - several different kinds if possible since all kids are different. Assuming you don't have to deal with any allergy issues I really like Sam's club and Parent's Choice (Walmart) wipes. 

Don't be afraid to buy second hand stuff! The amount of money spent on brand new baby stuff that is sometimes rarely used is crazy. Bouncer/swing/playmat are great things to try to find cheaper. Can also look at Amazon Warehouse for cheaper items that may have a damaged box but be perfect inside - saves a lot of $

MissKittyDanger

Oh! A bouncer .... like an excer-saucer but doesn't move. BabyKitten loved hers for a long while, and it's safe to put them in once they can keep head up.

I'm pro-highchair but if you opt for either
Bumbo
- great for chair use and and travel. Look for the one with grippers underneath, much safer.

Highchair
- ingenuity. Chair piece removable and can travel. Also great for toddler seat. BabyKitten only transitioned to toddler seat 2 weeks ago but use to fall asleep in it lol I like the high back for that part.

+1 for 2nd hand. Most stuff you can soak in a tub and really clean it. I've seen 2nd hand strollers and playpens being soaked.
Our stroller - graco convoy, jogger style - was 2nd hand

mrsconn23

Jogging stroller!  We had one that we gave to BIL/SIL.   I think ours was Chicco.  Loved having one.  

We also had a cheap umbrella stroller for travel.  

Casadena

totally echo @kvruns about second hand.  We got 3 chair/bouncer/set things for 5 bucks each that normally are around 50.  I got a Boba wrap for 6, a high chair for 5 (ikea model).  Halo wraps for 5.  and SO MANY CLOTHES.  If it could be washed, I pretty much didn't care about buying second hand. 

Obviously hard now with everything closed, but most of this stuff I found on facebook.

Highly recommend this book/website.  Very concisely summarizes most of your options for big baby purchases.  Was super helpful to read vs. diving into ratings and comments online. https://www.babybargains.com/

 ETF: words

GBCK

My info is 9 years outdated, but:

Car seat--buy the LIGHTEST one you like.  (I'll rant on my MIL 'upgrading' mine and then being unable to carr it so buying her own of the one I wanted and I still had the one I couldn't lift easily w/ my back.  wah wah wah).
Buy a 2nd (or 3rd or 4th) base for it--much easier to put the bases in all the cars and then move the car--and you don't have to wake the baby.

Stroller: Until the kid got to big for the baby bucket, I really liked having the stroller that was the tiny 'click in' frame.  Not a big travel system but the tiny little frame I could carry with 1 hand.

Diaper: We did cloth, so I didn't bother w/ diaper pail stuff, if you're considering that, there are 3 million people dying to tell you about it, so, I'll only rant there if you want me to.
BUT, I recommend a handful of good flats/prefolds/etc just because they're useful burp rags, poop rags, etc. (and you can pretty-ify them   

And I foud that different brands sized a LITTLE differently, which was useful.  The 'baby boards' will tell you better, but Huggies was 1/2 a size different than pampers-so if pampers 2 is to small and 3 is to big, huggies 3 will be in the middle. So, maybe have a variety (and 'how' your baby pees affects things.)

Clothes: 
-Things to help w swaddle are good (although kids are unpredictable.  Mine liked her arms swaddled tight but not her legs.

-Things that were the 'baby bags'--you know, wearable blanket type are good --don't have to wrestle baby legs into them in the middle of the night.  She lived in carters baby sleep sacks.
(their only downside I remember was that they don't all have seatbelt thingys, so you have to change them out of PJs to pt in the car.  Which...babies are allowed to wear PJs all the time always--just like everyone else during lockdown.

-You need lots of clothes...but I never register for clothes. People like to buy you  pretty baby things, it's fine, they'll get them, and you can go to once-upon-a-child and stock up on their 99c onesies if you need more.
(honestly, clothing 'lots' on ebay are useful too.  That might be something to wait on because kids have their own opinions on what they'll wear..  My kid (can we say sensory issues?) wouldn't wear anything with certain seams. Only wore PJs with buttons from ages 2-4. (and now refuses to wear PJs)

Nursing/pumping:
-Have a Hands-free bra (assume you can only wear it while pumping--it's not a bra.  Mine was 'simple wishes' and I had 2 or 3 and loved 'em)

-Extra bottles, and BIGGER bottles (if you're lucky enough to have a good supply, there is nothing worse than overflowing the bottles.  Which I did, while driving and pumping [I'm happy to discuss that too-it's less distracting than my radio] while wearing a suit before I had a mtg w/ the college pres.  It was stellar)

-If you ARE going to pump whie driving, or have any doubt about your ability to have privacy at work, a nursing cover is nice-I had a hooter hider and when I lost that (it's somewhere in chicago) and it was nicer than the cheapie, but not enough of a difference tomake the $$

Other useful things:
thermometer, have before you need.  same w/ baby tylenol or other pain/fever reducer.

Have one of those bottle brushes w/ the tiny bits to get inside the tiny baby bottle bits.

Things I didn't use:
Monitor:  I almost never used the monitor. We have a small house, I have ears, never needed it

wipes warmer, didn't have or want.

I *wanted* to love my various carriers/babywearing, but, honestly, it didn't work for us (I thik that's my sensory issues kid being herself)


That was way to much typing, but I"m waiting for kid stuff

OliveOilsMom

Never used a wipe warmer, bottle warmer or fancy baby detergent.  Also, no need to register for a fancy crib comforter - they aren't supposed to have anything in the crib with them, so its just decor that costs a ton of money and is basically useless!

We used a diaper genie and also kept dog poop bags in our diaper bag.  I wish I did get a backpack style diaper bag though.  

DD loved her swing!  We ended up buying a second one off Facebook to keep one upstairs and one downstairs.  

White noise machine of some kind.

I love my Mommy Hook, which secures your bags/purse to a cart, stroller, etc.

We used both the Boba and Ergo 360.  The Boba for when she was really little and then the Ergo for when she was bigger.  I didn't trust myself to tie the wrap as she got heavier, so we switched to the Ergo.

If you have two stories, make sure you have a changing station of some kind in both places.  You will also have restrictions of navigating the stairs once a day (most likely), so we also used a big duffel bag, to put everything that we only had one of up and down by myself once H went back to work.  I could carry DD and the duffel bag at the same time, safely.

We loved sleeping sacks during the summer because it made over night changes so quick.  Once she was allowed, she always kicked off covers, so heavier weight sleep sacks were key!

By 2 waterproof mattress pads, that way when there is a blowout in the middle of the night. You have a back up sheet and mattress pad.

NoseFrida, gripe water (we loved Mommy's Bliss brand - Amazon was cheapest), gas drops, tylenol and generic formula.  Formula is so regulated by the government that generic is just as good as name brand and is so much cheaper!

We buy lots of stuff from Once Upon a Child, mostly her clothes.  But we bought a nicer, lighter weight stroller to take to Ireland.  And shoes!!!!  Kids shoes are such a racket!  They cost so much and yet they go through them so quick!  I also get shoes off Poshmark too.

charlotte989875

This is all really so helpful!! I so appreciate all of your opinions and advice! It’s good to know we don’t “need” so much of what everyone makes you think you do! 

I’ll take any other advice and recommendations you all have! 

banana468

charlotte989875 said:

This is all really so helpful!! I so appreciate all of your opinions and advice! It’s good to know we don’t “need” so much of what everyone makes you think you do! 

I’ll take any other advice and recommendations you all have! 

DH giggled and said, "You need a car seat and an outfit for them to leave the hospital."

Also know that it's not a one size fits all.  And sometimes it sucks.

And you may wake up one morning thinking that you were supposed to be happy and you're not and you're not alone.   I didn't have PPD but I definitely had the blues.   And Chiquita was very much a wanted pregnancy so please reach out if you have signs of feeling them.   I cried SO MUCH after she was born. 

MissKittyDanger

banana468 said:

charlotte989875 said:

This is all really so helpful!! I so appreciate all of your opinions and advice! It’s good to know we don’t “need” so much of what everyone makes you think you do! 

I’ll take any other advice and recommendations you all have! 

DH giggled and said, "You need a car seat and an outfit for them to leave the hospital."

Also know that it's not a one size fits all.  And sometimes it sucks.

And you may wake up one morning thinking that you were supposed to be happy and you're not and you're not alone.   I didn't have PPD but I definitely had the blues.   And Chiquita was very much a wanted pregnancy so please reach out if you have signs of feeling them.   I cried SO MUCH after she was born. 

Omg yes!
I had PPD really quick, and honestly I would be upset and cry over the smallest thing.
I - for whatever reason - could no figure out how to put a onesie on BabyKitten and that just was so frustrating.
I would cry when M could get her dressed so easily, and I just couldn't.

He would explain that he doesn't have fluctuating hormones to try and deal with while trying to be a new parent, so he could figure stuff out.

Also anything you think is even a "stupid question" regarding you or baby is never a stupid question.
Information is important.
My coworker said after her 1st child she had pains from stitching. When her 2nd kid came, she had less pain.
Dr said it may have been stitching gone weird and unfortunately unless you say something, they cannot always tell if it's wrong. So if she had said something at her checkup, they could have figured out the pain.

ei34

banana468 said:

And you may wake up one morning thinking that you were supposed to be happy and you're not and you're not alone.   I didn't have PPD but I definitely had the blues.   And Chiquita was very much a wanted pregnancy so please reach out if you have signs of feeling them.   I cried SO MUCH after she was born. 

^QFT ...after my first I was down for awhile.  Physically I was alright after about a month but I had major blues for a good 10 weeks, and didn't feel like myself (or maybe didn't acknowledge the new version of myself) for about 4 months.  Lots of crying, thinking maybe I'd made a mistake...reach out if you ever need to vent!

charlotte989875

banana468 said:

charlotte989875 said:

This is all really so helpful!! I so appreciate all of your opinions and advice! It’s good to know we don’t “need” so much of what everyone makes you think you do! 

I’ll take any other advice and recommendations you all have! 

DH giggled and said, "You need a car seat and an outfit for them to leave the hospital."

Also know that it's not a one size fits all.  And sometimes it sucks.

And you may wake up one morning thinking that you were supposed to be happy and you're not and you're not alone.   I didn't have PPD but I definitely had the blues.   And Chiquita was very much a wanted pregnancy so please reach out if you have signs of feeling them.   I cried SO MUCH after she was born. 

This would be Hs take, too! 

I really appreciate all of this; I’m really happy about the pregnancy, he is definitely a planned and wanted baby! But with everything going on it feels a little overwhelming. So glad you all are here!

charlotte989875

ei34 said:

banana468 said:

And you may wake up one morning thinking that you were supposed to be happy and you're not and you're not alone.   I didn't have PPD but I definitely had the blues.   And Chiquita was very much a wanted pregnancy so please reach out if you have signs of feeling them.   I cried SO MUCH after she was born. 

^QFT ...after my first I was down for awhile.  Physically I was alright after about a month but I had major blues for a good 10 weeks, and didn't feel like myself (or maybe didn't acknowledge the new version of myself) for about 4 months.  Lots of crying, thinking maybe I'd made a mistake...reach out if you ever need to vent!

Thank you!! I really, really appreciate this so much. 

missJeanLouise

Used:
diaper station on each floor

Muslin/gauzy blankets

2 Dream swaddles. DS HATED having his arms swaddled so these were a life saver 

Playmat. ya know, with the poles that bend over it and the toys hang down. He Loved that 

Ergo carrier. we had All the ones. I liked the Ring Sling when he was tiny, ergo after that

Comfortable nursing bras. I bought the Amazon's choice ones and they were great 

Stroller. make sure it fits through doorways. We have a big fancy one we bought second hand from a friend that has the bassinet and all attachments. I really want to get rid of it and get a Silver Cross Jet travel stroller. The big one is just too big.

SkipHop changing mat. I can throw just that in my bag if we aren't going to be out long. The less stuff I have to bring the better.

Bonds Zip Up sleepers. They can be folded to cover the hands and feet or they can be free. LOVE THEM.

PERIOD PANTIES! I used them with pads postpartum and they were so great, so comfortable, big enough to hold those giant pads which none of my regular panties would have done. 

DH bought a bunch of diapers in different sizes before DS was born. I think he was 4 months old before we had to go out for any. It was really helpful just to have them on hand and not be caught in a pinch.

We used a bedside crib until he was about 6 months old. Idk how essential it was but I loved being able to nurse without getting out of bed. I think we had a greco Next to Me cot.

Because I had the stroller with the bassinet, our car seat just stayed in the car. I think we took it out maybe 4 times. We have a changing mat (vinyl covered foam with sides, generic one) that we used to keep on the top of a long dresser but now lives in the bathroom. We didn't start using a monitor until he was a little older and started sleeping someplace that was right next to us. Now we use it all the time.

Did not use: baby bathtub, Mamaroo, pack and play, bottle/wipe warmer, bumbo seats, baby shoes, 



My friend told me that she was really upset when she didn't absolutely love her baby when she was born. She told her mother and her mom said to her, "Nikki, of course you don't love her. You don't know her yet. It will come. You think I loved you right away? No." You probably had to be there to hear her tell the story but it was the funniest shit I had ever heard. It helped me after DS was born not to Try to feel any sort of way too fast.

I was terrified of being postpartum. I had so many creams, ointments, tucks pads, sprays etc. While I am very glad I had them, I didn't need them as much a I thought I would. 

Casadena

banana468 said:

charlotte989875 said:

This is all really so helpful!! I so appreciate all of your opinions and advice! It’s good to know we don’t “need” so much of what everyone makes you think you do! 

I’ll take any other advice and recommendations you all have! 

DH giggled and said, "You need a car seat and an outfit for them to leave the hospital."

Also know that it's not a one size fits all.  And sometimes it sucks.

And you may wake up one morning thinking that you were supposed to be happy and you're not and you're not alone.   I didn't have PPD but I definitely had the blues.   And Chiquita was very much a wanted pregnancy so please reach out if you have signs of feeling them.   I cried SO MUCH after she was born. 

This this this.  I cried probably 10 times a day for any/all/no reason for at least 2 weeks.  It's hormonal, emotional, exciting, exhausting, etc. and you'll probably be in pain and bleeding for weeks.  It's ok and it's normal.  We're here if you need it!

As long as you have somewhere for baby to sleep, a car seat, diapers and some clothes - you really don't NEED anything else.  And the things you might think will be awesome may not work for you/your kid and vice versa.  

Only other thing i'll add is to have formula on hand even if you're planning to breastfeed.  You may need to supplement until you get the hang of it and/or your supply fully comes in.  The ready bottles are super handy for the beginning.  https://abbottstore.com/similac-for-supplementation-infant-formula-ready-to-feed-2-fl-oz-bottle-case-of-48-67440.html?gclid=CjwKCAjwhOD0BRAQEiwAK7JHmBJST3uq5o9UUkntDrB2T4IKyxHoQjIakosWJrJhBO9UBVf60kgpsRoC3pQQAvD_BwE

OliveOilsMom

I forgot to mention.  I had a Bumbo like seat.  This one.  It was great!  We loved the tray option, but the colored insert made the seat.  We would pull it out and take with us out to restaurants because it would fit inside those wooden high chairs.  So she could sit more securely in them.  Then once she got big enough, we kept the insert out, so she could still fit.  It also has straps, so you can attach the whole thing to a chair.

Also, get some nipple pads to help contain any leaks.  I used them mostly at night, as DD was a good sleeper, I would leak before she would wake for a feeding.  I just got a set of them from Amazon.

MissKittyDanger

Oh! We got a massive set of ikea cups, plates, bowls and cutlery from amazon. BabyKitten was cleared to start solids at 4m, so I was glad I had ordered them.

Baby Bullet was on my original registry and I never got it. However, I'm not too upset. Walmart has a really good selection of pouches that we still use as snacks.
Unless you have a really good blender, I know people who loved their Baby Bullet because you could just refrigerate from the mix

mrsconn23

ei34 said:

banana468 said:

And you may wake up one morning thinking that you were supposed to be happy and you're not and you're not alone.   I didn't have PPD but I definitely had the blues.   And Chiquita was very much a wanted pregnancy so please reach out if you have signs of feeling them.   I cried SO MUCH after she was born. 

^QFT ...after my first I was down for awhile.  Physically I was alright after about a month but I had major blues for a good 10 weeks, and didn't feel like myself (or maybe didn't acknowledge the new version of myself) for about 4 months.  Lots of crying, thinking maybe I'd made a mistake...reach out if you ever need to vent!

I skewed toward PPA.  I wasn't sad, but as long as he didn't cry and we didn't have to go anywhere it was OK.  We camped out in my bedroom and bed for most of the first few weeks.  I would speed through showers because I was afraid he'd wake up and start crying before it was over (I remember the first shower vividly because I think I still had soap on me when I jumped out, but he was freaking out and I was freaking out).  Having to leave the house without DH felt like scaling a mountain. I remember my mom being all, "It's OK to let him cry."  I would say, "I know." out loud, but in my head I was all, "no fucking way."  I remember one day DefConn had an epic barf (probably because of a bad gas bubble) right before DH got home and it was meltdown city.  The only thing that made it better was forcing myself to just do what needed to be done.  

I still believe that you can't spoil a baby.  Babies want to be held tight and be close to their parents.  It's the only security they get those first few weeks/months when everything is blurry, loud, and too bright during the day.