Yes, you suck it up and buy things you need. Like an adult.

mrsconn23

Dear Prudence,

I am an unfortunate member of the class of 2020. COVID-19 has taken over the end of my senior year of college, including graduation. It is also becoming increasingly likely that I will have to postpone my graduation party. I understand why, and I’m OK with that, but my problem is with the gifts that I was going to ask for. I had been making a kind of housewarming registry because my job (which I am extremely grateful to still have in the midst of all this) will require me to move out into my first apartment at the beginning of June. I have some of the bare-minimum things that I would need to function (think plates and silverware), but there are a lot of other things that I was counting on getting from the registry to make sure I had everything I would need. Is it wrong for me to send out the registry around my graduation date anyway? Should I just wait until we can safely have the party? Or should I just suck it up and buy the things I’ll need once I can afford to?

—Graduation Present Blowout

climbingsingle

This is some entitled bullshit. YES, it's wrong to send out registry info for your graduation party. Yes, you suck it up and buy whatever you can afford, because that's what adults do. And if that means one chair and one table, that's what you do. That's what 99% of first apartments look like.  Welcome to life. 

banana468

climbingwife said:

This is some entitled bullshit. YES, it's wrong to send out registry info for your graduation party. Yes, you suck it up and buy whatever you can afford, because that's what adults do. And if that means one chair and one table, that's what you do. That's what 99% of first apartments look like.  Welcome to life. 

Oh sweet zombie jeebus this. 

A registry for your college graduation is entirely inappropriate especially if you were going to throw this party for yourself.   Start looking at what you need and start to buy those things for yourself.  The good news is that anything you can sterilze/put in the dishwasher is great if found at a thrift store if any are open.  Know that you're a grown up and grown ups buy their own things.

Make the list should anyone ask and realize that you aren't owed anything now or ever.

levioosa

climbingwife said:

This is some entitled bullshit. YES, it's wrong to send out registry info for your graduation party. Yes, you suck it up and buy whatever you can afford, because that's what adults do. And if that means one chair and one table, that's what you do. That's what 99% of first apartments look like.  Welcome to life. 

Yes exactly. Jesus. The only reason my apartment didn’t look like that when I moved out was because I had literally been buying stuff for a place since I was fifteen (I really wanted out of my parent’s house). I didn’t expect anyone to furnish my shit. And really, LW, you expect people to buy you gifts when most people are just scared they won’t even be able to make rent if/when they get laid off? Ugh. Go fuck yourself. 

STARMOON44

It would always have been wrong to have a registry. It isn’t wrong to let it be known that you’re moving into an apartment and happy to take basement hand me downs of basics. Not by sending a link. By normal conversation with people. Maybe start by reaching out to people and asking how they are doing and if there’s anything you can do to help them. 

kerbohl

Maybe this is my background talking, but ... a registry for a graduation party?  Gifts for a graduation party?  Whaa?  These are things I did not know were things.  When I graduated, I was just happy that people showed up to the ceremony - it was my former boss and my parents.  And my mom bought me this gorgeous rose.  And I was more than thrilled with that.  I just can't imagine asking for stuff because I graduated.  I'm going to ask hubby if he got gifts for graduation.

charlotte989875

Nope, nope, nope. Look this definitely screws with plans & parties, but a registry for a house warming was never appropriate. 

downtondiva

Please do not send out this registry. A lot of people are financially strained right now and they don't need you making them feel pressured to buy you gifts. If you need stuff, borrow second-hand stuff from your parents, as many of us have in the past, or get what you can afford yourself and replace it with better stuff later. 

In other words, GROW UP.

drunkenwitch

Oh Green Goddess on a cracker, it's called Goodwill.  It's a right of passage. Suck it up and bargain shop. 

banana468

FWIW, I am 40 years old and I STILL have some of the plates I was gifted that my aunt didn't use.   I use them because they were free and they are not broken.  And I would love a kitchen of beautiful un-chipped dishes that look like they came out of Ina Garten's home on the Hamptons but for now I'm STILL going to rock my hand me down items.

Casadena

Oh fuck this.  I don't know anyone who had a college graduation party at all (other than maybe a dinner with parents a few friends).  But a REGISTRY?  LW needs to wake tf up.  

kerbohl

banana468 said:

FWIW, I am 40 years old and I STILL have some of the plates I was gifted that my aunt didn't use.   I use them because they were free and they are not broken.  And I would love a kitchen of beautiful un-chipped dishes that look like they came out of Ina Garten's home on the Hamptons but for now I'm STILL going to rock my hand me down items.

So much of my stuff is still hand me downs as well, including big items like furniture.  Our hutch, coffee table, end tables, and work desks were all stuff that the in-laws forced my husband to store when they separated and then never asked for back.  And even if I have the money for it, I check thrift stores for certain items.  Sometimes the older styles that they don't sell in stores anymore are more my taste.

Hubby also didn't get any gifts when he graduated. But he did, as mentioned above, get forced to store all their furniture that then became his furniture.  So ... kinda got stuff?

MissKittyDanger

Who t.f uses registry for even a house warming!?

Most of our stuff was hand-me-downs and our wine glasses {to my dismay} still are. {they're more expensive type, so we can't give them away - they really aren't my style though ... *sigh*}

Entitled brat.

banana468

kerbohl said:

banana468 said:

FWIW, I am 40 years old and I STILL have some of the plates I was gifted that my aunt didn't use.   I use them because they were free and they are not broken.  And I would love a kitchen of beautiful un-chipped dishes that look like they came out of Ina Garten's home on the Hamptons but for now I'm STILL going to rock my hand me down items.

So much of my stuff is still hand me downs as well, including big items like furniture.  Our hutch, coffee table, end tables, and work desks were all stuff that the in-laws forced my husband to store when they separated and then never asked for back.  And even if I have the money for it, I check thrift stores for certain items.  Sometimes the older styles that they don't sell in stores anymore are more my taste.

Hubby also didn't get any gifts when he graduated. But he did, as mentioned above, get forced to store all their furniture that then became his furniture.  So ... kinda got stuff?

I forgot that our "dress" coffee table used to belong to my grandmother!   

ei34

This LW annoyed me 19 different times during this brief letter.  So many wtf moments.  Right off the bat the lamenting of no senior year festivities made me initially think the LW was a high school senior.  A party to celebrate college graduation is also something..kind of unnecessary.  I think my parents took the grad and whichever siblings could make it to a local restaurant for lunch?  But okay, fine, maybe some circles have parties for college graduation.  But a registry for that party?  Full of housewarming gifts?!?!  Omg LW stop please stop.

MyNameIsNot

Registering for graduation? You've got to be kidding me. I had a high school graduation party, and even got gifts. I was the oldest grandchild on my mom's side, so people came to all my shit. Most of the gifts were $20 in a card or gift cards for coffee/groceries; regardless, I didn't expect anything. 

The entitlement here is so gross. 

VarunaTT

I did have a big college graduation party.  But it was my friends and family and a few professors I loved, no gifts involved.  I think my aunt got me a beautiful briefcase that I still have, but it wasn't requested.

short+sassy

I sympathize with any graduate, high school or college, who is graduating this year.  It is a bummer they are missing out on some of the parties.  Saying good-bye/good luck to their classmates.  It's a bummer people have had to postpone their weddings.  It's a bummer people have had to postpone/cancel their vacations.  I get it.  It's one of the many things that suck about all this.

But the LW has this ALL wrong.  A registry for a graduation party or a housewarming party has NEVER been okay!  WTF.

I had a graduation party for high school.  A lot of people gave me cards that had cash/checks in them.  Only one person gave me a physical gift.  It was a great book from a longtime family friend about empowering yourself.  I did not register and no one gave me household items.

I actually moved into my first apartment during college.  That was when I needed all the stuff.  I brought my bed from home.  My parents gave me a lot of kitchen stuff they could spare and/or were extras.  I think my only "big ticket items", relatively speaking, were a cheap futon couch, a coffee table, and a microwave.  

I did not have a graduation party for college.  But, of course, some of our closest family and family friends knew I'd graduated.  I got Congratulation cards and some of them had checks.

LW, the GOOD news is, you're not missing out on anything gift-wise because of the pandemic!!!  If anything, it's saved you from looking like a complete POS.

So, thank your lucky stars you actually have a job lined up for when you graduate.  Go buy your stuff as you can afford to.  Like everybody else does.

maine7mob

This entitled brat should thank his parents for the gift they have already given him, his education, (because there's no way he paid for his degree without some help) and buy his own furniture. He can make a table with cinderblocks and two by fours, and a futon is fine for his 22 year old back.

charlotte989875

short+sassy said:

I sympathize with any graduate, high school or college, who is graduating this year.  It is a bummer they are missing out on some of the parties.  Saying good-bye/good luck to their classmates.  It's a bummer people have had to postpone their weddings.  It's a bummer people have had to postpone/cancel their vacations.  I get it.  It's one of the many things that suck about all this.

But the LW has this ALL wrong.  A registry for a graduation party or a housewarming party has NEVER been okay!  WTF.

I had a graduation party for high school.  A lot of people gave me cards that had cash/checks in them.  Only one person gave me a physical gift.  It was a great book from a longtime family friend about empowering yourself.  I did not register and no one gave me household items.

I actually moved into my first apartment during college.  That was when I needed all the stuff.  I brought my bed from home.  My parents gave me a lot of kitchen stuff they could spare and/or were extras.  I think my only "big ticket items", relatively speaking, were a cheap futon couch, a coffee table, and a microwave.  

I did not have a graduation party for college.  But, of course, some of our closest family and family friends knew I'd graduated.  I got Congratulation cards and some of them had checks.

LW, the GOOD news is, you're not missing out on anything gift-wise because of the pandemic!!!  If anything, it's saved you from looking like a complete POS.

So, thank your lucky stars you actually have a job lined up for when you graduate.  Go buy your stuff as you can afford to.  Like everybody else does.

So agreed. I know I’ve said this before but my sister and my MIL were (are?) graciously offering to host baby showers for us. It looks like that probably won’t happen. And yes we were registering. But you know what, we can buy all that stuff ourselves. And will. It’s part of being an adult. 

Am I bummed I won’t get to celebrate with my friends and family? Of course. But it’s not because of the potential for presents. 

climbingsingle

I'm honestly cracking up thinking about moving into my first apartment with my futon bed, and like, half a set of cutlery. Shit, my everyday dishes are a set I bought from Target in my 20s, and I'll be 40 this year! 

I had only a HS graduation party, and I do remember getting cards with money. Not a lot. And the party WAS my gift from my parents..lol. And they did not pay for college. 

MyNameIsNot

Thinking about this, I do remember one physical gift from a friend of my mom's. She gave me a college survival kit: a roll of TP, a jar or PB, chocolate covered espresso beans, and a box of condoms. My mom did not find the last part funny. 

Turns out, it could have doubled for a pandemic survival kit. 

MissKittyDanger

But seriously .... where is LW living now? What does LW think people who don't go to college do?

mrsconn23

climbingwife said:

I'm honestly cracking up thinking about moving into my first apartment with my futon bed, and like, half a set of cutlery. Shit, my everyday dishes are a set I bought from Target in my 20s, and I'll be 40 this year! 

My mom bought me a 'kitchen in a box' from Target when I moved into my first apartment at 20.  It was basically everything you need for a 'starter' kitchen besides silverware, plates, and potholders/towels. 

I still have the mixing bowl and strainer from that set  (plus probably other random things I've forgotten came with it) and use them almost every day.  The mixing bowl is perfect as our grapes bowl or if I want to eat a large lunch salad.