Wedding Woes

Postpone for the third time?

So just like many of the posts here we had to postpone our wedding on April 4 when we were just three weeks away. At the time, we had no idea this would be such a long lasting thing and had pushed it to August 30. At this point it seems pretty clear that August 30 is not going to be a possibility for a 150 person wedding so our venue offered us January 2nd.

So now my concern is that that still isn’t far enough out. I don’t want to keep postponing and getting farther and farther away when we were so close to our wedding but I am also concerned that in January there still might be social distancing, capacity restrictions, and mandatory masks. 

I know that no one can predict the future so we just need to wait and see but 60% of our guest list is from out of town, including FI’s entire family so we have to give a lot of notice so they can book flights and make work arrangements. 

Of course the safety and health of our friends and family are most important to us, which is why we keep moving it farther out, but my heart also hurts with the idea of all my wedding photos having everyone’s faces covered with masks, the possibility of not being able to dance because of social distancing. My family just keeps saying it’ll be what it’ll be and that it will still be lovely but that hurts because it just doesn’t feel like it will be. 

So I guess my real question is: what would you do? See if there is a date even farther away? Or just stick with January and be flexible about whatever restrictions are still in place?

Thanks for the rant. It’s been weighing on me. 

Re: Postpone for the third time?

  • levioosalevioosa Southern California member
    5000 Comments Sixth Anniversary 500 Love Its 5 Answers
    So just like many of the posts here we had to postpone our wedding on April 4 when we were just three weeks away. At the time, we had no idea this would be such a long lasting thing and had pushed it to August 30. At this point it seems pretty clear that August 30 is not going to be a possibility for a 150 person wedding so our venue offered us January 2nd.

    So now my concern is that that still isn’t far enough out. I don’t want to keep postponing and getting farther and farther away when we were so close to our wedding but I am also concerned that in January there still might be social distancing, capacity restrictions, and mandatory masks. 

    I know that no one can predict the future so we just need to wait and see but 60% of our guest list is from out of town, including FI’s entire family so we have to give a lot of notice so they can book flights and make work arrangements. 

    Of course the safety and health of our friends and family are most important to us, which is why we keep moving it farther out, but my heart also hurts with the idea of all my wedding photos having everyone’s faces covered with masks, the possibility of not being able to dance because of social distancing. My family just keeps saying it’ll be what it’ll be and that it will still be lovely but that hurts because it just doesn’t feel like it will be. 

    So I guess my real question is: what would you do? See if there is a date even farther away? Or just stick with January and be flexible about whatever restrictions are still in place?

    Thanks for the rant. It’s been weighing on me. 
    I’m sorry this is happening. What about a small private wedding now with a celebration postponed to a later date? Normally I’m against “re-creations” of the wedding, but if everyone knows you’re already married, I say go ahead and wear the dress, have the first dance, etc. I don’t think January will be safe. It will be at the height of flu season too. I’m already trying to think about how to let my cousin know we won’t be traveling for his wedding at the same time. 


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    ei34short+sassyMesmrEwe
  • ILoveBeachMusicILoveBeachMusic Indiana member
    2500 Comments Fifth Anniversary 500 Love Its 5 Answers
    I agree with @levioosa. I think January will still have some restrictions in place. I know that some businesses where I live aren't going back to work in the office until at least the end of the year. I think next summer or late spring would be a better bet if your venue will work with you. I also am more forgiving about getting married now and celebrating later given current world circumstances, but if you want to wait for the whole thing at the same time, that is fine too. I'm really sorry so many you and so many people are having to change important life events. Best wishes for your upcoming marriage no matter when you decide to have it.
    ei34
  • It definitely sucks to be trying to plan a wedding now. Restrictions change as businesses learn more guidelines and recommendations from scientists and the government, and it can be hard to keep up. 

    If it were me I’d probably get married privately now and move the big celebration to later in the spring/summer next year when we could celebrate with friends and family. But I can definitely understand wanting to have everyone there for the ceremony and reception. This is a really tough call! I would think about what is most important to you two and make the decision based on what you want; people will understand that you had to make a tough decision. 
    ei34
  • ei34ei34 member
    Seventh Anniversary 2500 Comments 500 Love Its 5 Answers
    I'm sorry that you're dealing with all this uncertainty.  So many tough calls to make- it really does suck.  Ditto PP advice, and just to share what a family friend (my youngest sister is her MOH) is doing- the couple was originally supposed to get married in May in NYC.  They kept their original wedding date and were married in a small ceremony (5 guests).  They'd first postponed their reception to Sept 2020, but recently re-postponed to Aug 2021.  My sister says her friend doesn't care as much about when the reception is, just that she and her H decided they want peace of mind to go big, have OOT guests, follow it with the honeymoon in Europe, etc.  Fingers crossed for them and you that 2021 will be a time to do that!  Again I'm sorry that you're dealing with all this.
  • Thank you all so much for the support. I really just want to do what is best for all our guests but also I don’t want to always feel sad when thinking about our wedding. 

    I agree that the best option is probably to push things out to next summer or fall. It’s such a hard choice to make being that we were only three weeks away before. 

    Thank you for steering me to the right choice. Hopefully we will be able to find a date that works then. 
    levioosaei34short+sassy
  • MyNameIsNotMyNameIsNot Atlanta member
    Tenth Anniversary 5000 Comments 500 Love Its 5 Answers
    Honestly, I don't think we'll get back to "normal" until there is a vaccine or a cure, and even then, I think normal will be a different thing. Even with covid under control, people will be much more aware of transferring flu and other infections. 

    I think you have to reflect on what your priorities are. If being able to invite everyone is really important, I think you need to push to summer/fall 2021 or even later. It sucks to have this much uncertainty and it sucks to feel like you're putting your life on hold. 
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