Keep telling Linda she's not moving in.

mrsconn23

Dear Prudence,

I am a 65-year-old woman who owns my own (fenced and gated) home in a tropical climate due to a settlement from a car accident several years ago. I love spending time alone working in my garden and swimming in my pool. My close friend “Linda” has been living in her daughter’s house rent-free for the past five years. Now that Linda’s daughter is selling the house, Linda has asked to move into my guest bedroom. I’ve told her more than once I don’t want to live with anyone, not even my boyfriend. We’ve been dating for four years and he only stays over on weekends.

Linda’s applied for (and been accepted to) very nice senior housing but hasn’t done anything to move forward. She seems to expect others to take care of her for free. She’s asked if she can live in a tent in my backyard, which is absurd. Recently I overheard her say to my boyfriend that she would be living with me before he does. My health is poor, and this is really weighing on me. Am I too nice? How can I make it clear that I’m not the one to take care of her for the rest of her life? Other than this, she’s a great friend.

—No Roommates

banana468

Keep saying no to Linda.  

Now is the time to say, "Linda I hope I didn't mishear anything when I heard you comment to Stedman that you would move in before he does.  I truly need my own space and plan to live with no one.   Let me know if you want the recommendation of another over 55 community." 

Whatever Linda's issue is, do not invite her into your home for more than a meal. 

CharmedPam

I don’t know how “great” she is of she’s not dropping this and making it uncomfortable for you. But it sounds like LW didn’t say yes so just bean dip every time this comes around?

mrsconn23

CharmedPam said:

I don’t know how “great” she is of she’s not dropping this and making it uncomfortable for you. But it sounds like LW didn’t say yes so just bean dip every time this comes around?

IKR?

She said to LW's BF that she'd move in before HE would.  WTF?  I hope her BF told Linda something like, "Why would you say that?"

Good friends don't do that shit.  LW needs to get more assertive with Linda or reassess the relationship altogether. 

levioosa

CharmedPam said:

I don’t know how “great” she is of she’s not dropping this and making it uncomfortable for you. But it sounds like LW didn’t say yes so just bean dip every time this comes around?

Yeah. Linda kind of seems like a free loader. 

charlotte989875

“Linda, I’d be happy to help you make arrangements to move into the senior living community, but you cannot move in with me.”

MissKittyDanger

I had to read this because it's my mum's name lmfao

But that being said, LW needs to be more stern when Linda says about moving in.
"No, you're not moving in. I am willing to help you with arrangements to that nice senior living place though."

downtondiva

How great of a friend can Linda really be if she's putting you in this awkward position? 

You need to tell Linda directly, once and for all, that she is completely out of line and cannot live with you. Tell her that you're happy to help her find other housing, but she is not moving in with you. And if she still doesn't back down, I think you need to reassess whether this is a friendship you really want in your life.

short+sassy

I wonder if Linda's daughter is selling the house because that is the only way she can think of to get rid of her mom living with her, lmao.  Because, ya notice?  Apparently there's some unstated reason why the mom can't move to wherever her daughter is going.

The LW has already tried nicely telling her friend this isn't happening.  It's Blunt Bitch time, and I mean that in a positive way.  Like, "Linda, there is no way in hell you are ever living on my property.  It would be a huge imposition and I don't know what you don't get about that.  Even living in a tent in my backyard would be a huge imposition, plus that's totally ridiculous.  Stop asking me, ffs.  You have a place to go in that nice, senior housing.  Move there already."