Another Monday

CharmedPam

Btw, This Hollywood news today is shocking/terrifying.  Re: Kelly Preston and Naya Rivera.  I haven’t seen an official announcement for Naya, but my friend said it was confirmed about 1 hr ago?

climbingsingle

@levioosa that's so scary, and you probably saved her life. 

Weekend was good. Hung out at my brother's all weekend. Had 3 of my friends over yesterday to swim. We had a great time. 

And sadly I found out that my HS boyfriend died two weeks ago from a heart attack. Apparently his family was trying to keep it quiet, which to me is weird. We still kept in touch, and I had talked to him a few months ago. He died right before his 41st birthday. 

So, in less than a year, I've had 2 ex boyfriends die. And not people I casually dated either. I was with Paul for 5 years, and my HS boyfriend was my first love. Isn't that just so crazy??

Casadena

charlotte989875 said:mrsconn23 said:

@Casadena, I started getting severe ovulation cramping after I had DefConn.  Sometimes with boob pain and mood swings.  So fun.  

Something similar happened to me before I was pregnant; I’d get sever almost migraine like headaches on the first two days of my period and then they would subside. I ended up having to switch birth control because of it. Good luck! It totally sucks. 

It's crazy how much hormone changes affect everything.  23 years of consistent cycles and symptoms and it's totally different after baby.  I will look at BC if it continues! 

levioosa

I’m sorry for your loss @climbingwife. 

Well, CA pretty much just rolled back to phase one. Everything is closed again. Because people don’t know how to behave. Goddamn it. I was so close to getting my Botox. It’s been canceled four times now. I’m worried about all of my friends who are working in the hospital. They’re so slammed. 

short+sassy

@levioosa, so scary!  The "what ifs" of what horror might have happened to that woman, if you all hadn't been there and observant of what was going on.  It's sobering.

@climbingwife, I'm sorry to hear about your HS b/f.  I am waggling my finger at Fate/God to give you a break already!  There have been so many unexpected deaths in your life over the last year, plus the upcoming divorce, I wish I could wave a magic wand and make it better.  ((All the internet hugs))  

short+sassy

short+sassy said:

And I'm pretty sure I just caught another instance of landlord info falsification, smh.  S**t, is this more common than I thought it was?  I'm starting to doubt my own sanity.  And this was someone who had a little bit of a checkered past, but was honest about it, and I was good with that they described.  In fact, I've spent a LOT of time chatting with her (relatively speaking).  But now this.

Here's what it was.  I look up the owner of where she is currently living.  The name doesn't match the landlord she put down.  Not necessarily an automatic bs.

But then, huh.  I recognize the owner's name.  It's her supervisor at her job.  Now that is a red flag!  Fortunately, we hadn't done the employment check yet, my H is doing that.  I told him, after the employment check, to ask in a friendly tone, "Oh, does she rent from you also?"  And pay close attention to her reaction.

Update;  My H did the employer reference.  And that checked out.  But when he casually asked if she also rented a room in her house, I guess the woman got upset and angry at my H because she had no idea what he was talking about.  Not how we were expecting that to play out!  Perhaps she thought we were up to something.  We assumed she was in on it and were trying to catch her being surprised.  He apologized and said we must have misunderstood and then thanked her for her time.

Awkward, because the supervisor probably should know, though there probably isn't any harm to the supervisor.  But, at the same time, it's not really our business.  It's one thing to deny the applicant, it's another to potentially jam her up at her job.  Though we may have accidentally already done that.

The weird thing is, if the applicant had put any other person's house, I wouldn't have caught it.  At least not until I called the "fake" person and then maybe I would have known it was fake, unless they were really prepared (though most people aren't), but I wouldn't have been able to connect it back to the coworker whose name was actually mentioned in the employment section of the application.  It's a wild ride sometimes!

CharmedPam

such a young life, gone to soon.  Sorry @climbingwife.

@levioosa, you = me.  I am racing to get get my juvederm/botox appts incase we go back a phase too.  Our mayor is threatening it if cases keep going up. 

redwoodoriginal

I’m feeling some type of way about refusing to lease to people that obviously need housing and could pay for it because they don’t have SSNs... 

missJeanLouise

Posting and ghosting to tell @mrsconn23 (and others) about the podcast Culpable. If you liked Up and Vanished, this is a good one.

STARMOON44

redwoodoriginal said:

I’m feeling some type of way about refusing to lease to people that obviously need housing and could pay for it because they don’t have SSNs... 

yeah refusing to rent to anyone without a SSN is potential fair housing discrimination

charlotte989875

STARMOON44 said:

redwoodoriginal said:

I’m feeling some type of way about refusing to lease to people that obviously need housing and could pay for it because they don’t have SSNs... 

yeah refusing to rent to anyone without a SSN is potential fair housing discrimination

Except it’s not; landlords can set requirements (such as completing a criminal background check) in order to rent an apartment. I do think there are ways to do background checks with TINs, other federally verifiable IDs other than SSNs, but there is a right to do a background check with than information. 

Landlords can also refuse to rent to someone with a felony (or other convictions) as well. Renters do have the right to correct inaccurate information on a background check as well. 

But let’s not accuse someone of discrimination based on our feelings and not the law. 

short+sassy

charlotte989875 said:

STARMOON44 said:

redwoodoriginal said:

I’m feeling some type of way about refusing to lease to people that obviously need housing and could pay for it because they don’t have SSNs... 

yeah refusing to rent to anyone without a SSN is potential fair housing discrimination

Except it’s not; landlords can set requirements (such as completing a criminal background check) in order to rent an apartment. I do think there are ways to do background checks with TINs, other federally verifiable IDs other than SSNs, but there is a right to do a background check with than information. 

Landlords can also refuse to rent to someone with a felony (or other convictions) as well. Renters do have the right to correct inaccurate information on a background check as well. 

But let’s not accuse someone of discrimination based on our feelings and not the law. 

Thanks for this.  And that's exactly where I'm coming from.  If I could check if someone's criminal record or eviction history, without needing an SSN (checking about a TIN), I would.  Unfortunately, though, that's what is needed to pull up those records.  I'm sympathetic too!  They seemed like great people.  They certainly deserve a nice home.  But I can't take those chances.  Just because they seemed great and more than likely don't have any issues, doesn't mean I can just take their word for it that they haven't had an eviction in their past or that none of them have been convicted of a violent crime.

Plus, this is a double.  I feel a duty to ensure I'm not renting the other unit to someone who's been convicted of a violent felony.  And while that is true no matter who the other tenant is.  Right now, that person is a single mother with an 8-year-old son.  So I especially want to make sure I'm not renting to someone with a history of sexual assault and/or pedophilia.

I'm sympathetic to challenges that felons face.  They've often already started life in a disadvantaged position.  Then they get out of prison and it's a major uphill battle to get both housing and jobs.  But just because I'm sympathetic, doesn't mean I'm personally taking on that kind of risk either or making other people take on that risk in a multi-family house situation.

FWIW, a lot of rental owners have a blanket "no felonies" policy.  I don't.  It has to be a violent crime.   Because "felonies" is a large umbrella that include a lot of crimes that I personally don't think makes someone "risky" or necessarily a bad tenant.  For example, I have tenants in another unit right now.  Noone would take a chance on them because they both got busted for minor marijuana possession in the past.  They plea-dealed.  One of them went to jail for a few months, one of them didn't have to spend any time in jail.  But both of their crimes were felonies.  Stuff that isn't even any crime in many states anymore.  I had no concerns about their criminal record and I'm glad I didn't because they've been awesome tenants.  

ei34

There are federal programs in place to assist undocumented individuals/families in finding housing.  I think the government could and should do a better job with those programs (and with undocumented immigrants in general).  But I think an individual landlord would be crazy to not require a background check before renting a property to a person/family.

STARMOON44

charlotte989875 said:

STARMOON44 said:

redwoodoriginal said:

I’m feeling some type of way about refusing to lease to people that obviously need housing and could pay for it because they don’t have SSNs... 

yeah refusing to rent to anyone without a SSN is potential fair housing discrimination

Except it’s not; landlords can set requirements (such as completing a criminal background check) in order to rent an apartment. I do think there are ways to do background checks with TINs, other federally verifiable IDs other than SSNs, but there is a right to do a background check with than information. 

Landlords can also refuse to rent to someone with a felony (or other convictions) as well. Renters do have the right to correct inaccurate information on a background check as well. 

But let’s not accuse someone of discrimination based on our feelings and not the law. 

Right. Which is why I didn’t say “landlords can’t require background checks.”  Obviously, they can. But insisting on a SSN for everyone is potential fair housing discrimination. Using a TIN is an option as is conducting a background check without either number. I’m not accusing anyone of discrimination, I’m pointing out that a blanket policy of no SSN = no lease is problematic and could be discriminatory. 

short+sassy

ei34 said:

There are federal programs in place to assist undocumented individuals/families in finding housing.  I think the government could and should do a better job with those programs (and with undocumented immigrants in general).  But I think an individual landlord would be crazy to not require a background check before renting a property to a person/family.

I assume now they are undocumented, just because they didn't have SSNs or TINs.  But it's not a question I ask because I'm not legally required to (though employers are) nor is it a concern of mine.

mrsconn23

missJeanLouise said:

Posting and ghosting to tell @mrsconn23 (and others) about the podcast Culpable. If you liked Up and Vanished, this is a good one.

YES!  I loved that podcast.  It was so frustrating, but his friends and family are so badass.  I hope they can get some traction on the case, because it's pretty clear what happened.  

redwoodoriginal

ei34 said:

There are federal programs in place to assist undocumented individuals/families in finding housing.  I think the government could and should do a better job with those programs (and with undocumented immigrants in general).  But I think an individual landlord would be crazy to not require a background check before renting a property to a person/family.

Lol for dayssss if you think undocumented people are going to reach out to the fucking federal govt for housing help. Have you heard of ICE and what it’s done to the undocumented immigrant community in the US? 

ei34

redwoodoriginal said:

ei34 said:

There are federal programs in place to assist undocumented individuals/families in finding housing.  I think the government could and should do a better job with those programs (and with undocumented immigrants in general).  But I think an individual landlord would be crazy to not require a background check before renting a property to a person/family.

Lol for dayssss if you think undocumented people are going to reach out to the fucking federal govt for housing help. Have you heard of ICE and what it’s done to the undocumented immigrant community in the US? 

I actually have heard, it's horrifying.  I was a Social Work Assistant in a city that I believe is the most diverse in America for years and met many undocumented individuals and families who were willing to take all the help they could get, from whichever professional or agency was offering it.  Low-cost apartments, help with rent, cell phones, food banks, etc.  In full disclosure I'll say these were the Obama years, Trump has changed the climate drastically. 

Jen4948

climbingwife said:

@levioosa that's so scary, and you probably saved her life. 

Weekend was good. Hung out at my brother's all weekend. Had 3 of my friends over yesterday to swim. We had a great time. 

And sadly I found out that my HS boyfriend died two weeks ago from a heart attack. Apparently his family was trying to keep it quiet, which to me is weird. We still kept in touch, and I had talked to him a few months ago. He died right before his 41st birthday. 

So, in less than a year, I've had 2 ex boyfriends die. And not people I casually dated either. I was with Paul for 5 years, and my HS boyfriend was my first love. Isn't that just so crazy??

I'm very sorry for your loss.