Do I invite them?? HELP!

knottie13fde3ee13bd24e8

So,... my relative (my mother), without my knowledge, reached out to my old sunday school teacher, who makes cakes now. I do love her (the teacher) and hold her dear to my heart, but would never have invited them to my VERY small, like 40 person (including us) wedding! Asking if they would make my wedding cake!?! Which I never thought my mother would do. So im a bit caught off guard anyway. And now I am conflicted about expanding the guest list to include her and her husband, that I REALLY dont want there. I would NEVER have asked her...!!!    
Please help!! What do i do???!!!

banana468

Send her a very heartfelt card thanking her and ensure that she's paid well. 

Jen4948

Yes, your mom should have gotten your and your fiance's consent to do this before reaching out to your old teacher, and you need to have a talk with her about that to make sure that she understands that she is not to reach out to anyone about your wedding without your explicit consent first. That means no "surprises" or otherwise going behind your back.

But asking someone to bake your wedding cake is not the same as inviting them to be your wedding guest. So you can either cancel the order if you really don't want her to bake your cake, or you can pay her well in accordance with local market rates for wedding cakes, send her a nice thank-you letter, and give her a warm testimonial. Neither obligates you to invite her and her husband to your wedding.

ei34

knottie13fde3ee13bd24e8 said:

So,... my relative (my mother), without my knowledge, reached out to my old sunday school teacher, who makes cakes now. I do love her (the teacher) and hold her dear to my heart, but would never have invited them to my VERY small, like 40 person (including us) wedding! Asking if they would make my wedding cake!?! Which I never thought my mother would do. So im a bit caught off guard anyway. And now I am conflicted about expanding the guest list to include her and her husband, that I REALLY dont want there. I would NEVER have asked her...!!!    
Please help!! What do i do???!!!

Ditto Jen.  I'm lost on how asking someone to bake a cake = invitation to the wedding.  The only vendors who typically attend weddings are the caterers, band/DJ, photographer and videographer. 

knottie9619bf9f32bce5fd

Did your mother invite her to the wedding too? Just because she makes the cake doesn't mean she's invited, like other people have commented. Are you okay with her doing the cake even? I think it's on your mother to do the explaining to her on this one. I like the idea of a nice letter of thanks if she does end up doing the cake, but your mother should make clear to her that it's a small wedding with few guests and maybe sprinkle in the fact that you would invite her if it weren't such an intimate affair. 

juliefrom1991

Agreed on the above, you definitely don't need to invite her. I don't think she'll expect it either

knottie35f42f533ecc24ff

Yeah. Exactly correct.

forevermarriedbrainshadia

I think your mom is thinking about how much your cake cost would be and not just trying to invite more people to your wedding. Just let your mother know that the cake cost is not a problem and that you have only certain people that you are inviting to your wedding.