BridesMEN an option?

kvaughn34

Hello. While gathering a list of my bridal party, I have 3 long life guy best friends whom I’ve known just as long as my MOH (10 yrs) who mean the world to me. I also have 3 brothers. My fiancé and I were planning to have my 3 brothers as groomsmen (Which my fiancé is 100% fine with) and my 3 guy friends mixed in with 4 of my girlfriends for my bridal party. When tellling his mother the idea, she didn’t get it/understand. I understand it is not traditional. I know I have older/other family members and possibly friends who may not understand as well. How do I explain to them gender doesn’t matter? Or how do I feel better about doing this. 

maine7mob

This is fine. You have your friends stand up with you, not a set of matching genders. I know that historically, women stood up with women, and men with men, but this is not a rule of etiquette. It was never a rule. It was simply the custom. Just tell your mother that you want your closest friends to be up there with you on your wedding day, and that those friends happen to be of mixed genders.

levioosa

knottie06b9a2aff6d827fb said:

Hello. While gathering a list of my bridal party, I have 3 long life guy best friends whom I’ve known just as long as my MOH (10 yrs) who mean the world to me. I also have 3 brothers. My fiancé and I were planning to have my 3 brothers as groomsmen (Which my fiancé is 100% fine with) and my 3 guy friends mixed in with 4 of my girlfriends for my bridal party. When tellling his mother the idea, she didn’t get it/understand. I understand it is not traditional. I know I have older/other family members and possibly friends who may not understand as well. How do I explain to them gender doesn’t matter? Or how do I feel better about doing this. 

There’s nothing to “feel better about.” This is completely fine. You are asking your nearest and dearest to stand up with you. That’s it. Besides, there aren’t any “roles” or “duties” to be in the wedding party aside from showing up on time, in the correct attire, so you’re all set. If anyone asks you can tell them, “these are the people closest to me and I am so excited to have them stand up with us the day of the wedding.” Then bean dip and change the subject. Because this literally has zero impact on people’s well-being and the WP gets to be 100% your choice. If people are upset about it then they need some new hobbies. 

Casadena

Definitely do this because they are your closest friends and that's who should be part of your wedding party.  You dont' need to explain it to anyone.  Or if people get weird about it I would just act confused like "oh, they are my best friends, of course they are in my wedding party...".  Dont' make it a big deal and it wont' be one. 

Jen4948

kvaughn34 said:

Hello. While gathering a list of my bridal party, I have 3 long life guy best friends whom I’ve known just as long as my MOH (10 yrs) who mean the world to me. I also have 3 brothers. My fiancé and I were planning to have my 3 brothers as groomsmen (Which my fiancé is 100% fine with) and my 3 guy friends mixed in with 4 of my girlfriends for my bridal party. When tellling his mother the idea, she didn’t get it/understand. I understand it is not traditional. I know I have older/other family members and possibly friends who may not understand as well. How do I explain to them gender doesn’t matter? Or how do I feel better about doing this. 

Don't worry about whether your FMIL or anyone else "gets it." The important thing is that you have the people closest to you standing with you, whatever gender (if any) they identify as.

MobKaz

If they have not attended weddings in the past several years, it may take them by surprise.  Hopefully they will view it as a pleasant surprise.  I have attended several now within the past 10 years and it has almost become the norm!