Manic Monday

mrsconn23

HOLY SHIT @banana468.  That must have been so surreal and shocking to witness. 

redwoodoriginal

cupcait927 said:

@climbingwife oh my gosh! So glad to hear that you're okay but damn. Any idea what might've caused the infection? 

@kvruns congrats on getting through the busy season! Mine is just about to start ramping up.

Weekend was good. Friday night we stopped by my in-laws for a bit. Saturday my dad came over to see DD and bring her presents. Sunday we went to my mom's house for a belated birthday party for my grandma. My sister ended up showing up (I haven't spoken to her since December). I was incredibly polite and let her meet DD. Well my kid instantly fell in love with her and snuggled on her the whole time. DD even fell asleep in my sister's arms and she doesn't do that with anyone. So now I'm torn between wanting to maintain my distance for my own mental health but also wanting my sister to keep seeing the baby because DD was just so comfortable with her. 

Your DD isn’t going to care if she doesn’t see her again. She’s less than a year old right? Her memory is shit when it comes to meeting people once. It’s more important for you to keep your mental health in check than for your DD to have a relationship with someone who as she grows up can cause the same type of stress to her as she did to you. 

banana468

mrsconn23 said:

HOLY SHIT @banana468.  That must have been so surreal and shocking to witness. 

DH and I just shook our heads.   On the selfish level we thought, "Is there anything ELSE to add to this day??" 

But I still wonder about that passenger and hope that whatever was going on there is better.    

We live in a TINY TOWN!  @missJeanLouise this was by the downtown!! 

cupcait927

@redwoodoriginal You're right. In the end, I need to put myself first and take care of my own mental health. 

kvruns

that sh*t is BANANAS....B-A-N-A-N-A-S @banana468

kvruns

cupcait927 said:

@redwoodoriginal You're right. In the end, I need to put myself first and take care of my own mental health. 

missed that on your first post but I wholeheartedly agree put yourself first, don't hang on to something toxic bc DD snuggled her. I promise there will be better people she will fall in love with and snuggle with too!

kvruns

WWWWD - kinda long so I used spoiler boxes: 

Background:

my BFF from college and I were very close after for most of our 20s. Lived together or nearby, helped take care of her son as she was single mom, etc. After his kindergarten year she opted to move back home - 2ish hrs away to get more help from family (this was probably 7-8 years ago). That also coincided with me and DH being together so naturally less interaction from distance and life changes. Still kept up well although less and less which was disappointing when I was getting married and later having baby B because I missed my best friend. She's never been the greatest at keeping up, definitely someone who likely sees your message but then forgets to reply type of thing. She was also super busy with work and traveling a ton during this time so I never tried to take it personally.

FFW 2 years ago she moved to another state although really didn't change things much since I hadn't seen her in forever anyway. Over the past 2 years we rarely keep up which has always made me sad but when I do try to reach out I don't get a lot of replies so I reached out less and less bc it felt like i was just talking to myself. During the pandemic I reached out and got a short reply a few days later but nothing again. 

out of the blue in July she texted me saying she was going to be in our state and wanted to meet up. I said absolutely I can make anything work because I really want to see her and catch up and she agreed she wanted to get together. I texted the week we had talked about getting together to finalize a day and I never heard back. Now 2 weeks have passed and I never heard a word. Clearly she must be back to her house now. I feel like she probably never replied because she realized she wasn't going to get together and didn't want to back out? idk otherwise I'm honestly not sure. It just feels so odd that she reached out to me to get together and then goes MIA. I know she's been back to our state many times over the past 2 years and has never once let me know so it is weird to have mentioned bringing it up. 

So here's the WWWWD part:
Would you reach out one more time with something like "I hope you had a great time visiting family, i wish we could have gotten together" or just not say anything at all? I can't say we really have a confrontational relationship or anything but at the same time I feel like I've wanted to say something for years about how I hate that our friendship has drifted and I'd love to reconnect more. I do feel hurt although at the same time I can't say any of this is out of character for her so I shouldn't be surprised. 

By no means am I perfect and I think in hindsight I wish I'd done a better job of proactively trying to get together before she moved. I do think it is still the kind of friend that I can not see/talk to in a long time and if we do reconnect it would be like nothing had changed. 

short+sassy

kvruns said:

WWWWD - kinda long so I used spoiler boxes: 

Background:

my BFF from college and I were very close after for most of our 20s. Lived together or nearby, helped take care of her son as she was single mom, etc. After his kindergarten year she opted to move back home - 2ish hrs away to get more help from family (this was probably 7-8 years ago). That also coincided with me and DH being together so naturally less interaction from distance and life changes. Still kept up well although less and less which was disappointing when I was getting married and later having baby B because I missed my best friend. She's never been the greatest at keeping up, definitely someone who likely sees your message but then forgets to reply type of thing. She was also super busy with work and traveling a ton during this time so I never tried to take it personally.

FFW 2 years ago she moved to another state although really didn't change things much since I hadn't seen her in forever anyway. Over the past 2 years we rarely keep up which has always made me sad but when I do try to reach out I don't get a lot of replies so I reached out less and less bc it felt like i was just talking to myself. During the pandemic I reached out and got a short reply a few days later but nothing again. 

out of the blue in July she texted me saying she was going to be in our state and wanted to meet up. I said absolutely I can make anything work because I really want to see her and catch up and she agreed she wanted to get together. I texted the week we had talked about getting together to finalize a day and I never heard back. Now 2 weeks have passed and I never heard a word. Clearly she must be back to her house now. I feel like she probably never replied because she realized she wasn't going to get together and didn't want to back out? idk otherwise I'm honestly not sure. It just feels so odd that she reached out to me to get together and then goes MIA. I know she's been back to our state many times over the past 2 years and has never once let me know so it is weird to have mentioned bringing it up. 

So here's the WWWWD part:
Would you reach out one more time with something like "I hope you had a great time visiting family, i wish we could have gotten together" or just not say anything at all? I can't say we really have a confrontational relationship or anything but at the same time I feel like I've wanted to say something for years about how I hate that our friendship has drifted and I'd love to reconnect more. I do feel hurt although at the same time I can't say any of this is out of character for her so I shouldn't be surprised. 

By no means am I perfect and I think in hindsight I wish I'd done a better job of proactively trying to get together before she moved. I do think it is still the kind of friend that I can not see/talk to in a long time and if we do reconnect it would be like nothing had changed. 

I don't think there is anything wrong with either approach.  But, for me, I would just let it go at this point.

The friendship has drifted, but it sounds like that has been more on her side.  Especially if she frequently travels nearish to you, but rarely gets in contact.

I feel like this has happened to me a lot in life.  I know I was the one who moved away from where I grew up.  But I've had to drop quite a few friendships over the years because, over time, all the effort was on my part.

Tangent story.  It was especially striking after Hurricane Katrina (HK).  Almost everyone I was friends with in college knew I had moved to New Orleans shortly after graduating.  Granted, HK happened 9 years after I had graduated.  But still, I stayed in occasional touch with some of them and they had my cell number (I wasn't on FB back then).

There were people who came out of the woodwork to make sure I was okay.  One of them was a good friend I had in high school and college, but we had lost touch over the years.  He tracked down my mom to find out how I was!  Through her having a landline and that shares my unique last name.  He also gave her his phone number and asked her to pass it along to me.  We got back in touch that way.

But then there were people who easily could have gotten in touch with me.  And didn't.  At all.  I was pretty gutted by that.

kvruns

Yep I've definitely had friendships drift like that too and when they become too much effort and not enough back I'm ok with it. I think this one is just tough because she was my BFF and we were tied at the hip for so long it just feels sad to see it drift this far. 

missJeanLouise

@banana468 I always envision that you and my aunt/uncle dock at the same marina and go to the same place for lobster rolls, lol. But it has been a few years since I have been there so it is a mix of real downtown and Gilmore girls, lol. 

That is crazy about the Drunk Driver. I hope the passenger was okay and he was arrested. I hope you were able to get some good sleep. ❤️

@kvruns I think one last reach out is always fine but then drop the rope. If you are friends on social media, maybe keep light contact and in a couple years the tides of life may bring you back together again. 

climbingsingle

levioosa said:

@climbingwife sepsis from pyelo is no joke. I’m glad you’re okay. Do you have home health coming out to help you with the PICC?

I do. She comes once a week, and is supposed to come today. Weather permitting I'm guessing. She changes the dressing and takes my blood.