Wedding Woes
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Never. Send. This. Shit. In. An. E-mail.

Dear Prudence,

I just came out of a toxic divorce. I messed around online and found out my 23-year-old stepsister has several profiles on “sugar daddy” websites. She still lives with our parents and has college loans. My mom thinks she does web design. In the most awkward email of my life, I told her she needs to clean her accounts and come up with an alias. This will haunt her later in life and ruin her reputation now, plus it will kill our parents. She never responded but her accounts vanished.

I tried to get back in the dating game but realized I have too much baggage. I want sex, but I don’t have the emotional capacity to commit to anyone. I emailed my stepsister and asked her if she had any “friends” she could recommend for a short-term sugar daddy situation. She called me a pervert and went on a ludicrous rant about my character. I told her not to be coy—she was selling sex. She doesn’t get the high moral ground here. She threatened to tell her father; I told her I would be there with popcorn. I told her that I don’t think what she was doing was “shameful” but neither was me asking about it. She cursed me out and then blocked me. Now our parents are wondering about the rift. I have told them to ask my stepsister. We didn’t grow up together, but I thought we had a fairly civil relationship. What is my next move here?

—My Sister’s Keeper

Re: Never. Send. This. Shit. In. An. E-mail.

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    Your next move is to stop using the internet, leave your stepsister alone, and improve personal quality. You shamed her for engaging in sex work and then tried to get her to pimp out a friend. My congratulations to your ex-wife I hope she is doing well. 
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    Apologize. “You know, sis, it was wrong of me to ask you to hook me up In your network”.  But really damage is done, and its up to her to let it go or not.

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    Oh FFS.  

    Next time get with the step sister over coffee.

    And you're a dumbass if you think that you can tell her in one sentence that what she's going to do is going to come back to haunt her and in the next ask her if she's got any friends for you.   That second line is creepy enough dude.   


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    Omg I’m not sure if I should be doing Prudie today.  Imm working on 3 hours of sleep.  LW is a man!  I was thinking LW was a woman asking for a sugar daddy!!! 

    I dunno.  My answer may still be the same 

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    Omg I’m not sure if I should be doing Prudie today.  Imm working on 3 hours of sleep.  LW is a man!  I was thinking LW was a woman asking for a sugar daddy!!! 

    I dunno.  My answer may still be the same 
    It’s not clear from the letter actually: I decided the LW was a man because of the phrasing of looking for sex and asking if step sister had friends, which I read as friends to pay for sex. And I’m unaware of a large lesbian sugar daddy contingent. And LW sounds like trash which to me reads male. I will concede it’s certainly possible LW is a woman but I doubt it. 
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    mrsconn23mrsconn23 member
    First Anniversary First Answer 5 Love Its First Comment
    edited September 2020
    Omg I’m not sure if I should be doing Prudie today.  Imm working on 3 hours of sleep.  LW is a man!  I was thinking LW was a woman asking for a sugar daddy!!! 

    I dunno.  My answer may still be the same 
    Not just you.  I read it as a woman too.  The 'pervert' comment should have tipped me off.  But I seriously thought LW was asking to find a sugar daddy, not a sugar baby. 

    My title still stands, but now it's all tinged in a different light.  It makes LW look like a creeper for sure.  You can't fucking tell someone to stop being a 'whore' and then ask them to find you a sex worker 'friend'. 

    Also, you try to shame her and told her it would 'kill' your/her parents.  And then when she told you she wasn't going to pimp for you, you threatened to 'tattle' on her to her dad?  WTF?! You're gross and I hope if you even try to 'out' her, she buries your ass. 
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    LW does need to improve personal quality!

    I think their first instinct to tell their stepsister was a good one, at least to get SS having a more anonymous profile.

    LW stepped over a HUGE line trying to get SS to set them up like that.  If LW wanted to get laid, he could have tried any number of hook-up apps.  LW could have even tried any dating website, but been honest about what he was looking for.
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    So LW shames & threatens to out stepsister, then tries to access her network and thinks there won’t be any backlash?

    Give me the confidence of this mediocre (likely) white man.  
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    So LW shames & threatens to out stepsister, then tries to access her network and thinks there won’t be any backlash?

    Give me the confidence of this mediocre (likely) white man.  
    OH he's fucking white.  Probably named Chad or something. 
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    Omg I’m not sure if I should be doing Prudie today.  Imm working on 3 hours of sleep.  LW is a man!  I was thinking LW was a woman asking for a sugar daddy!!! 

    I dunno.  My answer may still be the same 
    It’s not clear from the letter actually: I decided the LW was a man because of the phrasing of looking for sex and asking if step sister had friends, which I read as friends to pay for sex. And I’m unaware of a large lesbian sugar daddy contingent. And LW sounds like trash which to me reads male. I will concede it’s certainly possible LW is a woman but I doubt it. 
    Yup. 

    I'm also stuck that LW knew enough about these websites to discover the sister, but somehow couldn't access them when they [he] decided to pay for sex. Yeah ok, LW is either asking to taunt her or his trying to bang his sister. Fuck this guy with a rusty fork. 
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    I definitely originally read this as LW is a woman and is now seeking a sugar daddy, not that LW is male and looking for a sugar baby. LW sucks. 

    And, um, there are like a million hook up apps out there. Use one of those. 


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    I also read it as a woman looking to be hooked up with a sugar daddy.

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    I'm just going to quote my girl Karen (MFM) here:

    And toxic masculinity ruins the party again.

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    levioosa said:
    I definitely originally read this as LW is a woman and is now seeking a sugar daddy, not that LW is male and looking for a sugar baby. LW sucks. 

    And, um, there are like a million hook up apps out there. Use one of those. 
    This. It’s not like there aren’t MANY options out there. AND if he found stepsister in these sites he clearly knows how to use them. Seems like LW wanted stepsister to know he was looking. Which is creepy AF. 
    Also makes me think that there’s a reason he’s finding it hard to get casual no strings hook ups. 


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    Yikes. Talk about a double standard.

    Prudie sure told him off.
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    This is a lesbian sugar daddy (Daddy from OITNB):

    oitnbfans  Tumblr

    Anways, no matter any gender, it's all wrong and gross.  LW didn't approach it from, "Hey, I was able to recognize you, maybe lock this down?"  LW approached from a place of shame...awkward letter, parents would die, etc.  Then had the nerve to ask for the hookup.

    I also wondered why LW needed help if obviously LW could use the apps enough to find the stepsister.
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    Also, LW defines their divorce as 'toxic'.  I would love to know what their ex-spouse has to say. 
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    mrsconn23 said:
    Also, LW defines their divorce as 'toxic'.  I would love to know what their ex-spouse has to say. 
    I was just coming here to say that. 


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