Dear Prudence,
Four years ago, I applied to several great out-of-state colleges and was accepted at all of them. I was offered scholarships but would have had to take out loans to cover the rest, and my parents weren’t willing to cosign with me (I graduated high school at 16). So I went to the local state school for free. I understand my parents had the right to decide not to take out loans, and I don’t have hard feelings about it. But I had a lousy time at college. It wasn’t a good fit, and I felt like a total outcast. I’d hoped to be around creative, curious people, but most of my fellow students were stoners and/or jocks. I know that sounds judgmental and is probably an oversimplification, but I just didn’t have much in common with the rest of the student body. I tried to make the best of it but was always just the weird girl on campus. I didn’t get close to anyone and spent most of my time working while my actual friends went to big-name colleges and seemingly had the time of their lives. I didn’t even get a solid education out of it. Most of my professors were overworked adjuncts who never had time to give feedback beyond “Good job.”
I’m graduating in December and my parents and grandparents all want college “merch” to celebrate. I hated my college experience and feel embarrassed I even went there. I just want to move on, but it’s going to be hard if they have alumni stickers and t-shirts. Is there a way to tell them I don’t want to celebrate the worst four years of my life? Or do I just wait until grad school and buy them sweatshirts then?
—Unhappy Alumna