Attire & Accessories Forum

Flower girl dress struggles

I will be having three flower girls, a four year old, a two year old and an eight year old. My struggle is I'm having my wedding in early October and I am having a hard time figuring out what I want them to wear. It will be an outdoor wedding, ceremony and reception but the reception will be under a walled tent and we will have a fire pit to stand around and there will be blankets in case anyone gets chilly. The average high for the day where I live and where my wedding is a little over 70 degrees but the average low is around 43 degrees. The eight year old gets cold fairly easily. If we go swimming on a 100 degree day she will get goosebumps and purple lips if she stays in the water longer than an hour. The four year old isn't too bad with the cold but I don't want her to be cold. The same for the two year old. My wedding is rustic with touches of elegance and is very much a fall celebration, so like kettle corn, caramel apples, lots of sunflowers, and fall colors. My bridesmaids are wearing long red dresses so I was thinking of having my flower girls wear either yellow or the burnt orange shade. But I don't know if I should do a long dress or a short dress with knitted tights. On top of that I don't know if I should have them get those dress coats or just denim jackets. They should be warm enough to not need a jacket for the ceremony, but like I said, I worry about them getting cold at the reception. I know I would like them to wear flower crowns but that's just about it. I can't seem to decide on anything when it comes to the flower girls. I also have no clue on shoes. I was thinking some sort of boot if I do the short dress but I don't know. Will that look too informal? I still want them to look like flower girls. Any advice or ideas is much appreciated.

Re: Flower girl dress struggles

  • climbingsingleclimbingsingle NYC 'burbs member
    10000 Comments Seventh Anniversary 500 Love Its 5 Answers
    I will be having three flower girls, a four year old, a two year old and an eight year old. My struggle is I'm having my wedding in early October and I am having a hard time figuring out what I want them to wear. It will be an outdoor wedding, ceremony and reception but the reception will be under a walled tent and we will have a fire pit to stand around and there will be blankets in case anyone gets chilly. The average high for the day where I live and where my wedding is a little over 70 degrees but the average low is around 43 degrees. The eight year old gets cold fairly easily. If we go swimming on a 100 degree day she will get goosebumps and purple lips if she stays in the water longer than an hour. The four year old isn't too bad with the cold but I don't want her to be cold. The same for the two year old. My wedding is rustic with touches of elegance and is very much a fall celebration, so like kettle corn, caramel apples, lots of sunflowers, and fall colors. My bridesmaids are wearing long red dresses so I was thinking of having my flower girls wear either yellow or the burnt orange shade. But I don't know if I should do a long dress or a short dress with knitted tights. On top of that I don't know if I should have them get those dress coats or just denim jackets. They should be warm enough to not need a jacket for the ceremony, but like I said, I worry about them getting cold at the reception. I know I would like them to wear flower crowns but that's just about it. I can't seem to decide on anything when it comes to the flower girls. I also have no clue on shoes. I was thinking some sort of boot if I do the short dress but I don't know. Will that look too informal? I still want them to look like flower girls. Any advice or ideas is much appreciated.
    I think if the average low is 34 degrees, you need to come up with a better plan than a walled tent with a fire pit. The comfort of your guests needs to be the first priority. What if the high is only 40 degrees that day? Also having a fire pit inside a tent just seems not that great of a plan? What about smoke/ash from the fire?

    If this much though needs to be put into not having your flower girls freeze during your wedding, I think you need a better plan. 

  • Sorry for any confusion. The average low is 43, so cold but not quite freezing. The fire pit will be outside the tent and we are looking into some heaters and will be providing blankets but kids tend to get cold easier than adults since their bodies are still learning to regulate their body temperature. Along with that my guests can wear whatever they please, coats included to stay nice and warm along with the other means of keeping warm we are providing, I just want to be sure what I pick for the flower girls helps keep them warm but still look nice. The record high for the day is 88 degrees and record low is 28 but this last year it was a high of 85 and low of 53. for 2019 it had a high of 67 and a low of 46, the year before that was a high of 61 and low of 46 again, 2017 was a high of 67 and low of 45, 2016 had a high of 78 and a low of 68, and 2015 had a high of 70 and a low of 54. This is why I am going off of the averages because you never truly know what the weather will be like. So far the projected temperatures for the date is supposed to be a high of 78 and a low of 50 and sunny, but that is a little less than 11 months in the future so it will very well change. The prediction is for it to be warmer than normal, but I am planning as if it was the average in case it ends up a bit colder. I want to make sure everyone is comfortable, but especially my bridal party because if I pick something for them to wear and they're cold I would feel bad because they are doing something nice for me by agreeing to be in my wedding, I don't want to make them miserable all night because I chose a dress that has no sleeves or opted out of a coat or jacket when they could have used it. At the same time I want them to look nice so I am just asking some style opinions. I hope this clears up any confusion.
  • climbingsingleclimbingsingle NYC 'burbs member
    10000 Comments Seventh Anniversary 500 Love Its 5 Answers
    Sorry for any confusion. The average low is 43, so cold but not quite freezing. The fire pit will be outside the tent and we are looking into some heaters and will be providing blankets but kids tend to get cold easier than adults since their bodies are still learning to regulate their body temperature. Along with that my guests can wear whatever they please, coats included to stay nice and warm along with the other means of keeping warm we are providing, I just want to be sure what I pick for the flower girls helps keep them warm but still look nice. The record high for the day is 88 degrees and record low is 28 but this last year it was a high of 85 and low of 53. for 2019 it had a high of 67 and a low of 46, the year before that was a high of 61 and low of 46 again, 2017 was a high of 67 and low of 45, 2016 had a high of 78 and a low of 68, and 2015 had a high of 70 and a low of 54. This is why I am going off of the averages because you never truly know what the weather will be like. So far the projected temperatures for the date is supposed to be a high of 78 and a low of 50 and sunny, but that is a little less than 11 months in the future so it will very well change. The prediction is for it to be warmer than normal, but I am planning as if it was the average in case it ends up a bit colder. I want to make sure everyone is comfortable, but especially my bridal party because if I pick something for them to wear and they're cold I would feel bad because they are doing something nice for me by agreeing to be in my wedding, I don't want to make them miserable all night because I chose a dress that has no sleeves or opted out of a coat or jacket when they could have used it. At the same time I want them to look nice so I am just asking some style opinions. I hope this clears up any confusion.
    Why would you want your guests to have to wear coats? 43 is still too cold, and so is 53. This is a bad plan. What about the floor? Are you erecting this tent directly on the ground, or are you having a floor installed? If no floor, what if it's muddy? What if you get a cold spell and the ground is already frozen? Have you thought about what it's like to stand around on the cold ground for hours in dress shoes? 

    Predictions don't mean shit. Your wedding is a year away, and you can check every farmer's almanac/weather prediction you like, but you're not going to have an accurate picture of the temps until maybe the week before. I really think you need a backup plan.  

  • Sorry for any confusion. The average low is 43, so cold but not quite freezing. The fire pit will be outside the tent and we are looking into some heaters and will be providing blankets but kids tend to get cold easier than adults since their bodies are still learning to regulate their body temperature. Along with that my guests can wear whatever they please, coats included to stay nice and warm along with the other means of keeping warm we are providing, I just want to be sure what I pick for the flower girls helps keep them warm but still look nice. The record high for the day is 88 degrees and record low is 28 but this last year it was a high of 85 and low of 53. for 2019 it had a high of 67 and a low of 46, the year before that was a high of 61 and low of 46 again, 2017 was a high of 67 and low of 45, 2016 had a high of 78 and a low of 68, and 2015 had a high of 70 and a low of 54. This is why I am going off of the averages because you never truly know what the weather will be like. So far the projected temperatures for the date is supposed to be a high of 78 and a low of 50 and sunny, but that is a little less than 11 months in the future so it will very well change. The prediction is for it to be warmer than normal, but I am planning as if it was the average in case it ends up a bit colder. I want to make sure everyone is comfortable, but especially my bridal party because if I pick something for them to wear and they're cold I would feel bad because they are doing something nice for me by agreeing to be in my wedding, I don't want to make them miserable all night because I chose a dress that has no sleeves or opted out of a coat or jacket when they could have used it. At the same time I want them to look nice so I am just asking some style opinions. I hope this clears up any confusion.
    Why would you want your guests to have to wear coats? 43 is still too cold, and so is 53. This is a bad plan. What about the floor? Are you erecting this tent directly on the ground, or are you having a floor installed? If no floor, what if it's muddy? What if you get a cold spell and the ground is already frozen? Have you thought about what it's like to stand around on the cold ground for hours in dress shoes? 

    Predictions don't mean shit. Your wedding is a year away, and you can check every farmer's almanac/weather prediction you like, but you're not going to have an accurate picture of the temps until maybe the week before. I really think you need a backup plan.  
    The rental company we are getting the tent from have tent heaters designed specifically for weddings in the non summer months. They have had a lot of positive reviews and work really well as they are designed to keep a tent warm even in the middle of January. As for the ground, the chances of it being muddy or frozen are incredibly slim. Where I live gets an annual precipitation of 5 inches a year. For the month of October (my wedding month) the historical average for the entire month is 0.3 inches and that occurs towards the end of the month. I live in a sunny, dry, very sandy area. But yes, we are installing some floor, but not the whole thing because the ONLY time it ever gets even kind of muddy is in the spring and when the snow melts in the winter. On top of that the ground doesn't freeze to the point of not being able to set up a tent unless the day time temperature hits freezing or below. For my area, that doesn't occur until mid November., thanks to the low rain, sandy soil and sunny weather. Even if I had an indoor wedding, if it was truly cold my guests would have to wear at least a jacket anyways during the journey there. I have attended an outdoor wedding every single weekend of September this year, and the two at the end were actually hot in the afternoon but got a little chilly later in the evening. I brought a jacket and was fine. My mom was a bit cold because she wore a sleeveless dress and had no jacket, but she got a blanket from her car in the evening and wrapped it around her arms and she was fine. The temperature for the last weekend of wedding I went to was a high of 75 and a low of 45. Considering that I am planning for my wedding date to be set for the first weekend of October, this will be just one weekend after, I am thinking things will be similar. I am not planning on wearing dress shoes myself and neither is my bridal party. My guests might but I can't tell them what to wear. As for predictions, yes, predictions don't guarantee anything, but not jut for fall weddings, any outdoor wedding. Looking at a record chart the average high for the hottest month of the year, July, is 91 with temperatures often reaching the 100's, the record a toasty 115. The average low is 59.4, with the record being 38. 38 degrees on a July day in a desert climate is crazy. But it happened. However if I was planning my outdoor wedding for July I would plan on a warm summer evening because that is what 99.999% of the evenings of July are. I wouldn't worry much about the ground being wet because the average rain for then is 0.17 and we are often in a drought in the summer. But I would get a tent just in case and gets some fans because I know it can be hot and weather can be unpredictable. My point is, that although this is a fall wedding I am considering the weather for the area I am getting married in, which I have also lived in my entire life. I know the average weather and what to expect. I am also planning on some possible unexpected scenarios, such as it being chilly. In all actuality I would probably have to think more about the wind than muddy frozen ground since it can get breezy here. I am taking the proper steps for these scenarios, but I can not plan for every extreme. No one can. There is almost an entire years worth of people whose wedding plans had to change this year due to a worldwide pandemic. And you know what, if by some chance a cold front of freezing rain comes in and turns the ground into frozen mud, I will adjust my plans accordingly. There are people who plan lovely, indoor winter weddings and get hit by a blizzard (not a problem in my area, before you bring up the chances of that. The last blizzard that occurred where I live was probably the ice age) and guests can't attend and caterer's cancel, because weather happens. In the summer months (this CAN and actually does happen where I live) droughts occur and wildfires start up and air quality gets so bad no one is supposed to go outside. No matter what, if your wedding is indoor or outdoor, weather can affect it. No one can prevent every single possible weather mishap on their day. The best a bride can do is her research on what to expect and hope for the desired outcome, but plan for the reasonable possibilities on what weather may occur. It is wrong of you to assume that I don't have a back up plan for if the weather is completely awful. You are making a lot of assumptions on me just asking for an opinion on flower girl dresses so they aren't cold. From that you somehow made the assumption I am going to have my guests breathe in smoke from under the tent firepits, that I am going to make my guests freeze and I am just going to make everyone extremely uncomfortable in my wedding. None of which is true. I have back up ideas and the climate where I live could be completely different to yours, but I am the one who lives here and knows what to expect. I am sorry if you have something against outdoor weddings, but most of the weddings where I live are outdoor. On top of that a little over half of the wedding venues are outdoor venues because the weather is almost always clear and sunny. I believe my wedding is going to be beautiful and my guests will have a great time. My wedding planner is not worried about it and is making sure all my bases are covered so I have a good day. She has been planning weddings in my area a long time and has done outdoor weddings the weekend I am asking and said in the past there have been no problems like you are describing and we are making sure back up plans are in place for the problems that may occur. It is just me who is worried about my flower girls getting chilly in the evening. Along with that, I just asked for an opinion on flower girl dresses. Not a scolding on how I should or should not plan my wedding. At the end of the day, it is about me and my fiancé getting married and starting a family, so if the weather ends up going to hell in a handbasket and we have one of the most out there crazy weather days that has like a one in a thousand chance of occurring, then that just is what it is and we will adjust accordingly. Even if it means taking a loss financially and eloping. 
  • climbingsingleclimbingsingle NYC 'burbs member
    10000 Comments Seventh Anniversary 500 Love Its 5 Answers
    TLDR. Good luck to you. Hope your flower girls don't freeze. 

  • I think you need to talk to the parents of the flower girls on what they would normally dress their kids in that time of year. I think if you’re expecting coats then you need to cover that because that’s, IMO, not typical flower girl clothes and more than what should be expected. 

    I think if you’re worried about your guests getting cold at the reception heaters or an indoor ceremony is a better plan. You can’t expect people to bring blankets or want to wear heavy coats and still dance/mingle/have a good time. If the average low is 43 that’s, IMO, too cold for an outdoor event. The daily high sounds fine, but if the temp is dropping that much people aren’t going to be dressed for both types of weather and you can’t really expect them to be. 
  • I think you need to talk to the parents of the flower girls on what they would normally dress their kids in that time of year. I think if you’re expecting coats then you need to cover that because that’s, IMO, not typical flower girl clothes and more than what should be expected. 

    I think if you’re worried about your guests getting cold at the reception heaters or an indoor ceremony is a better plan. You can’t expect people to bring blankets or want to wear heavy coats and still dance/mingle/have a good time. If the average low is 43 that’s, IMO, too cold for an outdoor event. The daily high sounds fine, but if the temp is dropping that much people aren’t going to be dressed for both types of weather and you can’t really expect them to be. 
    Thank you. I will talk to their parents. I would cover the cost of the coats. We are planning on heaters. As it gets a bit closer if the weather is looking absolutely terrible we will move it indoors. Or if the time of the reception will be too cold maybe just that. That is a part of the backup plan we are discussing with our wedding planner.
  • Purchase peacoats for the girls - the challenge is they'd need to be purchased before the end of this season but sizing is the question for October because all are at good growth spurt ages.  But what would likely really help - plan your start time earlier such that things can be wrapped up before it gets really cold for the evening so there's possibility the girls could already be at home/hotel snuggled into bed sleeping by the time there'd be any issues...

    Predicting the weather is a "good luck" as those are just "averages", you could end up with a 100 degree day too!  One big thing to also consider October is harvest season and in parts of the country out come the boxelder bugs and asian beetles in droves, for that reason I'm also NAF of the tent idea..  
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  • We live in frigid part of the country and own a public-facing business (well, it's my husband's retirement business) that has had to transition to outdoor-only service due to Covid. All over the world, people have had to get creative about how to do this. But the interesting thing is that people adapt. We really expected to shut down by now because the nights are so cold (we've had some below 25 F already), but as long as the fire pits are going, people come.

    So, if you're in a part of the world where even during non-Covid times, people hold outdoor parties in the fall, and you trust your venue and tent company's experience, you will probably be fine. Your guests, especially the locals, will know that to expect. And the others will expect some guidance from you on what to pack.

    As far as the flower girls go, I would choose short dresses with short sleeves. These are more comfortable and practical for young girls (they can wear them again), and can be paired with thick tights if it's chilly. And denim jackets sound cute, so that might be part of the outfit, but I would also have their moms pack sweaters to wear under these. They only need to look like flower girls for the ceremony itself. And it's not unheard of for flower girls to change into another outfit entirely during the reception, so this might be your best assumption.

    We had outdoor church until very recently, and the little girls would frequently come in skirts and tights with a thick hoodie over them. I'd say the coldest morning was about 50 with a bit of wind.
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  • Jen4948Jen4948 Houston member
    Eighth Anniversary 10000 Comments 500 Love Its 25 Answers
    I would get dresses for the flower girls that allow for nice coats over them if it turns out to be necessary.
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