Walking down the aisle

knottied433f797762eafdb

I'm stuck on who to walk me down the aisle.  This will be a second wedding for both of us, but he didn't have a traditional wedding the first time (married in a hotel conference room), so he wants a little more traditional.  My first wedding I had my dad walk me down the aisle.  Now i'll be 40 and I have 3 kids.  Daughter 21 will be MOH, and boys 17 and 13.  He also has a daughter who will be 12.  I was thinking of having my boys walking me down, but my fiance went all traditional and essentially asked my dad permission before he proposed so I feel like it would be disrespectful if he didn't.  Fiance isn't having them as groomsmen so that isn't an option for them either.  And i'm also not doing the whole flower girl/ring bearer thing

Jen4948

Even though your FI wants to be "traditional," it doesn't completely fit your situation since you're an older bride, so I would simply adapt your ceremony for your actual circumstances. Your sons can be bridesmen. They don't have to be your fiance's attendants in order to be in the wedding party. Nor does his daughter have to be your bridesmaid (although that would be nice). She can be a groomsmaid, although that would be a departure from "tradition."

maine7mob

You can have a traditional wedding without having a man walk you down the aisle. You're raising 3 children. Having them walk with you down the aisle might be a very nice, symbolic gesture. Or you can walk by yourself. Lots of brides do this. It won't look weird or untraditional. And I agree that your sons can also be in your WP.

andthentherewereseven

 I have thought about this since I knew that another wedding was in my future. My daddy isn't alive anymore so my FI asked my boys if they were ok if he asked me to marry him. Once we finalize a date, I plan to ask them if they would walk me down the aisle. I'm not sure if I will have one walk me halfway and then both the rest of the way or not yet but I know that them both walking me at some point is a must for me. 

short+sassy

I hope these are your thoughts and it isn't your FI .  He shouldn't have any say in who walks you down the aisle.  That is 100% your decision and it doesn't matter at all if your FI asked for your father's permission or not.  Lots and lots of brides don't have their father walk them down the aisle, so I wouldn't even classify it as a "strong" tradition.  

There's nothing wrong with a bride's father walking her down the aisle for her second wedding (or any "number" wedding).  But it doesn't sound like that is what you want.

knottiee6866563bea6733a

Considering this was a post from last November, it may already be a moot point, but I'll put in my two cents in case it still helps *someone*.

I don't think it would be disrespectful to ask your sons instead of your father. I went more traditional with my first wedding (well, more traditional than this time around anyway). My first husband asked my stepdad's permission to marry me, but I still had my brother walk me down the aisle. In my particular circumstance my mom and dad divorced when I was a baby, so I'm not very close with my bio-dad. And while my step-dad helped raised me from about age 3, I rarely see eye to eye with him on anything, so I'm also not super close with him. My brother, on the other hand, has been there for me in times of need in ways my dads haven't. As such, I wanted him to be the one to walk me down the aisle.

I was definitely anxious about ruffling some feathers by asking him instead of either dad, but I wrote to each of them to explain what my thought process was and why it was important to me. Neither dad had any complaints with it and they both got to do readings during my ceremony, so they still got to play a role too.

Perhaps you could also find some other meaningful role for your dad? Totally up to you, of course, but it's a good option to have if having your sons walk you down the aisle has him feeling left out. That being said, it may not even be necessary. He may be happy to see his grandsons fill that role. Definitely worth having an open and honest conversation with your various gents if you're worried about hurting some feelings. Best of luck, I hope it all goes well and you have (or had) an amazing wedding!

knottie2b6d372d20f1c057

I’m having my 11 year old son walk me down the aisle this time around.  My dad gave me away the first time and now I think my little boy deserves that chance.