Dear Prudence,
Over 10 years ago, I started a career I was really excited about. For years, I put my all into it. I moved up through the ranks, which meant stakes were higher and the burden heavier. I still enjoyed it, because I believed in my work. I greatly admire the people who have worked in my office for decades. But now I’m tired. Maybe it’s because the pandemic has put things into perspective, but it’s also true that social changes have made our work increasingly difficult over the last few years. I just want to slow down. I can do that, but my work won’t be quite as meaningful, and I won’t have the same success that the people I look up to have.
That makes me feel like a failure, like I’m giving up. I don’t look down on the people in my office who do other types of work—it’s just my own internal judgment of myself. This also isn’t about wanting more of a life outside of work. Despite sometimes working long hours, I’m still able to have a social life. I just hate feeling like I can give this job my all, and sometimes, through absolutely no fault of my own, my all won’t matter. How do I come to terms with wanting to scale back?
—Striving for Mediocrity