Wedding Woes

Classic: Ummm...

Joanne, my BFF and co-worker, and Melanie, a former co-worker, both recently applied for the same exciting, awesome job. When the diligent, talented Melanie left our company, I offered to be a reference for her. Joanne told me how intense the application process was—her parents were divorcing at the same time, so she was frazzled—so I expected a call from the hiring company. It never came. Neither Joanne nor Melanie got the job. Recently Joanne confessed that while in my office one day, she intercepted a call from the hiring company; the rep wanted to talk about Melanie’s employability. Joanne told the rep that Melanie was intelligent but also lazy and entitled. She didn’t think the reference was bad enough to tarnish Melanie’s or my reputation permanently and begged for my forgiveness. Joanne is normally a sweet person, and I don’t think she would have done this if she hadn’t been so stressed. My question is, what do I do now? I don’t want to see Joanne hurt.

Re: Classic: Ummm...

  • So wait she went into your office, answered tour phone, and gave a poor reference about someone else. Did she impersonate you? I’m guessing yes because the rep would know Joanne’s name. Distance yourself from her. She’s crossed so many lines here. And think about reporting her to HR.
  • I have a pretty forgiving nature, especially with close friends and family.  I know people make mistakes and don't always do the right thing.

    But THIS situation is too egregious even for me!  I assume Joanne is not supposed to answer the LW's work phone at all.  I'm picturing she saw the caller ID and picked up the phone.  Either to impersonate the LW and give herself a great reference or, in this case, they were actually calling about Melanie so she gave her a bad reference.  That's not even making a really bad choice in the moment.  Picking up the phone was a very deliberate act.

    Although neither the LW nor Joanne said this, she might have even had it planned and was "hovering" near the LW's office when it was empty in the hopes of intercepting that call.

    And that's bs she "didn’t think the reference was bad enough to tarnish Melanie’s reputation".  Completely sabotaging Melanie's chances is exactly what she was trying to do.
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  • Even if they had a common line and "Hi this is Carla from ZYX Company and I need to speak to LW" Joanne breached trust.  SHe also impersonated LW.  

    LW can decide if she wants to pursue action in HR.  But She clearly should not trust this person. 
  • Joanne doesn't deserve your friendship and you shouldn't be worrying about whether she gets hurt after what she did to you and to Melanie. What she does deserve is to get fired.
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