Wedding Etiquette Forum

Microwedding... bad etiquette to have a bridal shower?

Due to covid, we do not want to take any chances in having to reschedule our day so we are having a microwedding at my dad's house in Florida. This will be a destination wedding for everyone except for my dad and stepmom. The guest list is about 26 people consisting of only our parents, siblings, niece/nephews, and VERY close friends. My mom wants to throw a bridal shower for me with a lot of our family friends that would have been invited to a bigger wedding in non-covid times. Is it rude to invite people to a shower if they are not invited to the wedding? 

Re: Microwedding... bad etiquette to have a bridal shower?

  • climbingsingleclimbingsingle NYC 'burbs member
    10000 Comments Seventh Anniversary 500 Love Its 5 Answers
    First of all, don't have a shower during Covid. You are making the right decision to not invite all these people to a wedding because of the virus so it certainly doesn't make sense to invite them to a shower during a pandemic. Secondly, yes it is against etiquette to invite people to a shower that aren't invited to the wedding. Tell your Mom thank you but no.
    If you're having a small wedding due to Covid, why would you have a large bridal shower? This makes no sense. 

    And yes, it's extremely poor etiquette to invite people to a bridal shower when they're not invited to the wedding. 

    charlotte989875ei34short+sassy
  • MyNameIsNotMyNameIsNot Atlanta member
    Knottie Warrior 5000 Comments 500 Love Its 5 Answers
    Due to covid, we do not want to take any chances in having to reschedule our day so we are having a microwedding at my dad's house in Florida. This will be a destination wedding for everyone except for my dad and stepmom. The guest list is about 26 people consisting of only our parents, siblings, niece/nephews, and VERY close friends. My mom wants to throw a bridal shower for me with a lot of our family friends that would have been invited to a bigger wedding in non-covid times. Is it rude to invite people to a shower if they are not invited to the wedding? 
    The number one rule of showers is that only people invited to the wedding can be invited. So yes, it would be extremely rude to invite these people to a shower.

    Agree with the others, though. A shower is a wholly unnecessary risk right now. 
    charlotte989875
  • ei34ei34 member
    Eighth Anniversary 2500 Comments 500 Love Its 5 Answers
    When you said microwedding I pictured like 4 guests.  Tell your mom thank you but no thanks- a shower is an unnecessary risk right now. 
    MyNameIsNot
  • Jen4948Jen4948 Houston member
    Eighth Anniversary 10000 Comments 500 Love Its 25 Answers
    I agree with PPs. During Covid, you should not be having a shower - especially if it includes people who are not invited to the wedding. Ask your mother to cancel the shower.
  • I'm going to echo the others that if your wedding is anytime soon there shouldn't be a shower.    I'm going to two baby showers virtually and turned one down that was not virtual in the fall.  
  • Having a large wedding shower during covid defeats the purpose of having a small wedding during covid. Even in normal times, you should never invite people to pre-wedding events (especially where a gift is essentially required)  and then exclude them from the wedding itself. Thank your mom for the offer but tell her you're not interested.
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  • You must ensure that people who invited to a wedding can only invite to shower.
  • Agree with all of the above posters. But your family will probably give you gifts anyway, even without a shower or large wedding. We've given wedding gifts to people whose weddings we were not invited to, just because they were family or friends and we wanted to do so. Most people understand that you can't invite everyone you care about to your wedding, even in non-Covid times. 
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