Complicated family, who to invite ?

knottie2447050b28428082

Hey so I’m not even engaged yet my so and I are waiting another year but that hasn’t stopped us from planning since I love planning and know how stressful a wedding can be. 

My problem I’m facing is that my Mom had a brain injury a long time ago that has left her in a wheelchair my Aunt is her guardian. I don’t get along with my Aunt but feel obligated to invite her since she knows how to take care of my Mom, which I don’t mind. However if I invite her I now would feel obligated to invite her husband (my uncle), then I’d feel obligated to invite all my aunts and uncles just because of this I have 12 aunts and uncles on my Moms side and 13 on my Dads side plus there’s so’s. That would be way to many people. Im close to none of them. Maybe a couple pairs on my Mom’s side.  

What would be your etiquette for this type of situation? 

missJeanLouise

knottie2447050b28428082 said:

Hey so I’m not even engaged yet my so and I are waiting another year but that hasn’t stopped us from planning since I love planning and know how stressful a wedding can be. 

My problem I’m facing is that my Mom had a brain injury a long time ago that has left her in a wheelchair my Aunt is her guardian. I don’t get along with my Aunt but feel obligated to invite her since she knows how to take care of my Mom, which I don’t mind. However if I invite her I now would feel obligated to invite her husband (my uncle), then I’d feel obligated to invite all my aunts and uncles just because of this I have 12 aunts and uncles on my Moms side and 13 on my Dads side plus there’s so’s. That would be way to many people. Im close to none of them. Maybe a couple pairs on my Mom’s side.  

What would be your etiquette for this type of situation? 

Is your Aunt your mother's main caregiver?

banana468

If your aunt is mom's main care giver I think you can invite her and her husband and no other aunts and uncles.

ILoveBeachMusic

I agree, since your aunt is your mother's primary caregiver, you can invite her and your uncle without inviting the other aunts and uncles. However, you would have to invite your uncle. It would be rude to invite your aunt and not your uncle.

ei34

I would invite your aunt the caregiver, and then automatically her spouse has to be invited too.  You don’t have to invite any other of your parents’ siblings- your one aunt who is your mother’s guardian wouldn’t (shouldn’t) be side-eyed for being the only one invited.  

Jen4948

I would invite your aunt and uncle along with your mom. But I don't think you need to invite any other family members.

short+sassy

I wholeheartedly agree with everyone else on here.  Your aunt isn't just your aunt.  More importantly, she is your mother's caregiver.  That is why she is getting an invitation.  Since she is also invited, her H would need to be invited, as well.

There is no reason to invite your other aunts and uncles (plus their SO's), unless you want to.

TBH, even if you took the caregiver part out of it, it's still fine for people to invite a favorite or two aunt/uncle, without inviting all of them.  The only time I would start to side-eye it is if you were inviting 10-11 aunts/uncles and excluded one or two from that "circle" (assuming no bad blood).